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Take a look at yourself
what do you see
is this the person
you'd imagined you'd be
sunken eyes from sleepless nights
bitterness you hide inside
you try to hide your pain
push away your problems
just to feel ashamed
ashamed to hide from yourself
and ashamed to admit
you were wrong.
 Jan 2013 Abigail Madsen
dj
she's not here anymore
so why don't I just
go away

her car is here, her home
is here. Even her cat is here
And her gardens are, too

sailed on and on
It's over, it's been over,
her shadow's parked on those hallways

she's not here anymore
so why don't I just
go away
It was at the cottage, by the marsh,
Where the husband slipped through the threshold.
The Bass boots left marks of silt and clay on the worn wooden floor.
He dropped the shovel on the floor as well.
And globs of mud, sawgrass and marsh water seeped in the cracks, forever to stay there,
As a silent reminder.
He sat down at the dinner table, a table for two,
With only one chair.
The coo-coo clock chimed above his head,
It was dinner time, where was dinner?
His thick gruff hands made fists and smashed the table top,
Breaking the maple top in two, which now made it a table for one.
He just needs sleep, his temper was getting to him.
As the husband climb up the stairs to the spacious bed,
And laid his head upon the pillow, he fell asleep.
But if you follow the muddy tracks down the stairs, through the kitchen, out the door, into the rain,
to the marsh, you will see a pile of mud that looks misplaced.
The sludge will begin to shift and slide away to reveal a hauntingly beautiful women.
She will rise, and walk through the marsh, in the rain, to the door, through the kitchen and up the stairs to see her husband in a fitful sleep.
And as any good wife would do,
She'll kiss him and lay next to him to ease whatever could be on his mind at this hour.
She once was the sweetest and most innocent girl-
Long, brownish-blonde hair with not the sign of a curl,
One day she began to feel a bit strange
Little did she know, from that day on, all things would change.

She found a blade and began to cut away at her thigh and wrist
Now dear, listen, there was quite a twist-
She found that the self-induced pain was nice
It was so soothing; she could not even take anyone’s advice.

As time went on, scars and cuts she did not lack,
Once she began this horrible habit she couldn’t turn back.
No one was able to help; they just shook their heads,
While this girl would go home and cry alone in her bed.

She felt alone, no one understood
She would stay in her room as long as she could.
There was only one way to escape,
Is this really the route she’s willing to take?

“She needs help,” her parents said,
They watched her lay helpless and sad in bed.
She was breathing but not really living
She felt that they help they offered was not even worth giving.

Sorrow and pain filled her eyes
Her voice can now only speak lies.
“I’m fine, I’ll be okay,” she said,
Meanwhile, the blood remains running down her arms deep and red.

It’s a constant battle that she feels can never be won.
She’s been fighting too long; she feels that her time here is done.
She whispers, “I love you” as she takes her last breath-
If only you knew, you were the only one that could have saved her from her death.
at night, alone, it seems
my heart is ripping at its seams
torn by sunset's pull,
reaching out, for naught, it seems
my heart is ripping at its seams

the threads so caref'lly stitched,
tightly gripping my blood-bag's crease
waiting just for cruel fate's bite
or when the day turns into night

seeking, almost, to be forgotten,
lying, torn, only to turn rotten
inside me still, my heartstrings scream
whilst from their barren cage, pours steam

at daybreak, then,
my heart is mended
as though the night's events were pretended

i know now how
the blood can flow
and disregard
what i think i know

my mind is clear,
but it seems for naught
as again i feel the blood
begin to clot

slowing, beating,
struggling to rest
my eyes turn red
as the sun sets

with the star at noon
i feel relief
the moon incurs agony,
doubt, and grief

at night, the dark, alone
it seems
the ripping seams,
it seems…

are only in my dreams
 Jan 2013 Abigail Madsen
L Smida
You pushed me away
When I wanted to be there
You crushed my heart
When I loved you from the start
You didn't believe me
When I poured my heart out
And after all those tears
I would take you back any second
“There’s a strange stalker in my chest, walking fast, unable to rest.”

And how you know it,
feel it every day,
sleep with its weight
as your comfort and dismay.
A blanket of shame to wrap yourself in;
another way to get warm,
another game to play.
Sleep alone and sleep thin
thoughts, weave them into dreams
until you feel distraught.
You
killed
a child
you
didn’t
want,
moved away back to Vermont.
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