Abandoned once again
should've seen it coming
knew this would end
left with a short string.

Abandoned once again
by an authoritative figure
someone I was supposed to call
when I didn't know the answer.

Abandoned once again
by a person, I learned to trust
now I wonder if my
step work is a bust.

Abandoned once again
now I must do the work
to find another sponsor
and hope they're not a ****.

Shakes, so deep my body trembles
with anxiety taking hold once again.
I thought I could run away but
it seems this one is with me forever.

Aches, stomach in knots over stress
that I cannot take control of.
Sick in the middle of the night,
body trying to purge this evil.

Brakes, on tight as life is moving too fast.
This year's brought so much pain,
hard to believe you were here
it was only back in May.

Takes, much more to heal
then what I have to offer.
Maybe that's why everything
shakes, aches, and breaks.

Writing and writing
trying to stay away
from the escape that
rests within my blade

Writing and writing
until my hand starts to cramp
wish to feel instead,
an ankle that is damp

Writing and writing
trying to find release.
Why isn't this working?
I just want some peace

Writing and writing
until all the ink runs out
maybe I've written myself
into a burnout

I feel the drag
along my skin.
It's another day
that I gave in.

Gave in to escape
from the memory,
of all the things
you did to me.

Things so unbearable
yet it went on for years.
Silently I suffered
crying so many tears.

Tears don't come now
as I give in.
Instead, it's crimson
rolling down my skin.

I feel like I should be done
with the mess, you left inside my head.
I've had the time to work through it
and keep myself from ending up dead.

I feel like I should be better
since you're gone and in your home.
Why do I focus on the fact
that he's happy and free to roam?

I feel like I should be happy
I've been working on it for months.
Instead, I'm stuck running each night
trying to escape from your labyrinth.

I feel like I should die
maybe that would solve my problems.
But I keep fighting this battle
and demons most can't fathom.

So tired of the pain
you left without a word.
Years since have past
holding on is absurd.

So tired of the sadness
from the hole left in my heart.
No parent left to hold me
since you tore us apart.

So tired of the tears
they just don't seem to come.
If I could cry it out
maybe the hurt would be done.

So tired of the loneliness
you've left inside my soul.
This heartache really seems
to be getting old.