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AS- Nov 2019
rolling hills
warm sunshine caressing skins
summers under the trees
and in them too

well it's winter now
and i can wait till summer
what else is there to do
its not destined for everybody
alone but im constricted
got unlimited supplies im the plug
so i get lifted
AS- Nov 2019
I want to be on the sunrise high at the skyline
i want to be comfortable alone in my time
sky time why time
lifeline
im floating roaming and zoning
fully rowing
my boat down the stream
cbd thc and clonazepam
thoughts quietly racing im silenty pacing
tasteful smoke freestyle on a techniclour kudasai
dont ask my why dont ask me to try
dont ask me' to walk when i can fly
floaty dont want to overdo it or overdosy
just wanna be cosy
we're all void fillers
void killers
lonely poetry
hidden masks on my face i dont divulge or they'll know its me
analyse the dirt and you will find the gems in these lines
the gems i had to go through alot to find
i had to mine
chip away at my old self
and yeah i am not back to my old health
and i got me some more wealth
bandaid on my poor self
money isn't happiness word to marley



nostalgia for things ive never had
it makes me sad
maybe some company by the skyline,
we can be poor we dont need wealth
lets be happy
thats a dream
maybe it doesnt exist
ill give it a hit
or maybe a miss
or maybe a kiss
nostalgia
not stall gear
stalling on the lonely road im on
im in a different space
maybe its trauma maybe its more ah
maybe its coz im a may baby and im way crazy
but i dont believe in the star sign *******
i know theres cosmic energies
i know theres an upper entity
thank you god


have you ever felt things you can describe
cant believe and cant deny
cant trust and cant part with eith-
er
our souls travel around, i dream when im awake the white tablet spaceship take me away
AS- Nov 2019
Pure white tablets
Clonazepam
mix it with the magical herbal medicine
clouds of rich flavourful satisfying smoke
a mixture of synthetic and natural
a forbidden concoction
offensive to the natural order of things
to our bodies
to our minds
soon to slip away
im going to mars
#drugs #drugproblems #diaryofaboywithproblems
#genius #crazy
  Jun 2019 AS-
Charles Bukowski
little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to
use the knife
I won't flinch and
i won't blame
you,
as I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave,
i won't blame you,
instead
i will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. the knife is
mine and i won't use it
yet.
  Jun 2019 AS-
Charles Bukowski
there is enough treachery, hatred violence absurdity in the average
human being to supply any given army on any given day

and the best at ****** are those who preach against it
and the best at hate are those who preach love
and the best at war finally are those who preach peace

those who preach god, need god
those who preach peace do not have peace
those who preach peace do not have love

beware the preachers
beware the knowers
beware those who are always reading books
beware those who either detest poverty
or are proud of it
beware those quick to praise
for they need praise in return
beware those who are quick to censor
they are afraid of what they do not know
beware those who seek constant crowds for
they are nothing alone
beware the average man the average woman
beware their love, their love is average
seeks average

but there is genius in their hatred
there is enough genius in their hatred to **** you
to **** anybody
not wanting solitude
not understanding solitude
they will attempt to destroy anything
that differs from their own
not being able to create art
they will not understand art
they will consider their failure as creators
only as a failure of the world
not being able to love fully
they will believe your love incomplete
and then they will hate you
and their hatred will be perfect

like a shining diamond
like a knife
like a mountain
like a tiger
like hemlock

their finest art
AS- Jun 2019
There's so much love inside me. A huge well of affection all bundled up inside ready to give to someone.

But there's nobody to give it to.

There's never been anybody to give it to.

It just flows out of my eyes.
Love, affection, lonely
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