The waves are much calmer now. I can walk in the sand without stepping on *****. Remember Daddy, when I stepped on the crab? The water is calm but people are drowning. I got rid of the floaties to try on my own. Daddy, are you going to save me? The deeper I go, the darker it gets. It's hard to see what's around me. How can something so beautiful be internally grim? I'm afraid of what lurks in this cold darkness. The waves are much calmer now. Still to this day I can walk in the sand without stepping on *****. Daddy, you remember, don't you? The water is calm but, Daddy, I'm drowning. I got rid of everyone so I could try on my own. Will you save me? The deeper they go, the darker it gets. I can't understand anything around me. How can my mind be filled with so much tragedy? I'm afraid of what I can do. Daddy, the waves are much calmer now. They are much calmer than they were before. Daddy, I will never, ever step on a crab again.

You stared back at me
Smiling
No care in the world
So naive of how ugly you'd become
Unaware of how your life would change
In a matter of just a few years

Your free time consumed of
Hospitals
Blades
Hatred
And sorrow
All combined into one pill
That you take every morning

I'm trying you promise
But I know you just want it all to end
You've become accustomed to being unhappy
Your picture of beauty is not what you see in the mirror
All because of things said to you
Drilled into your brain
Like little nails holding your thoughts together

You spend you nights hurting
Yet you can't cry anymore
You've cried enough tears for two lifetimes
But it never seemed like enough

You'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Because at least that means you're still alive

You're heart's still pumping
Lungs still breathing
Feet still taking steps
Closer and closer to the edge of reality
Losing you sanity
And faith in humanity
Your head spinning in circles
Making you feel so dizzy
That you pulled the trigger

Lowered ten feet under
Into the dirt you barely walked on
So young at heart
But your soul aged too fast

I still hear your voice
I still smell your perfume
I hear your laugh across the room
And so I run to it
Only to find
Nothing

Every year that goes by
I forget more and more about you
Trying to grasp your tiny chubby fingers
So that I don't lose myself
The way I lost you

But just like that
I'm in the same place as you
And you know that means
*I'll never be back

It's ironic
How beautiful it is
The way it flows in a thin line
Drops of pain and sorrow
That puddle up on your bathroom floor
Drained
No longer a part of you
You start to think
*"Maybe if enough is lost
The pain will go away."

Do I break secrecy
Or keep confidentiality?

One means losing a friend
So does the other

He could be gone
By a simple phone call
Driven miles away
To who knows where

He could disappear
By the flick of a knife
Into a small casket
Underneath the ground

The motherly figure
Locked away in fumes
Smelling of skunk
The green smoke taking her away
To anywhere but here

The man of the house
Glass after glass
Of wine
*****
Beer
Even Listerine
If that is what it took
To get even a slight buzz

I sit alone
Adding another mark to the tally
Behind the mirror
Only a few more
Before it is accepted
For my life to end

The youngest
Unaware of all of the despair
In her family
The only one
Who truly smiles
In our family portrait

As I sit here hopelessly
I hope
You will find me
Past the river
By the sea
Come meet me here
We'll sit and dream

We used to look up at the sky
And watch the clouds
Drift on by
The sun would set and we'd see the moon
I knew you'd leave me soon

I see the mountain shout for your love
You're the one I'm thinking of

The moment went by so fast
I wish we had made them last
I just feel so far away
I only wanted you to stay

We sat around counting the stars
Just like them
We flew so far
As I sit here hopelessly
I hope you will find me

*I see the mountain shout for your love
You're the one I'm thinking of

I found something
I wasn't looking for it though

They were hidden carelessly
Next to your lighters and your getaway high

Why did you keep them?
What purpose do they serve you?

I counted them carefully
Nine, one less than whe you took them from me

I took one, and closed the drawer
What's one more going to hurt?

I promise I'll stop
Starting tomorrow

Her blank canvas
Empty, but promising
To become something good

But her masterpiece took an evil turn

She used only one tool
Strokes of only deep reds
Letting the paint drop to the floor
Where it would then stain

She hid her canvas
Until the deep reds had faded to pinks and purples

Then she unveiled it to the world

It wasn't a masterpiece.
It wasn't a piece of art.
It wasn't beautiful.

It was ugly.
It was disgusting.
It was horrific.

No one liked it.
Except for her.
So she decided to continue filling the canvas

This time experimenting
Different tools
Yet still the only color she used was red

She went days
Weeks
Months
Years
Adding to her canvas
Until one day

She couldn't

Her canvas no longer meant anything to her

So instead, she burned it