Why, just why
I chained you up
And buried you deep
Within the darkness

Yet why does it burn
When my best friend
Told me he has
Fallen for you

I tried forgetting these feelings
I tried killing it off
By finding others
Burying it deep

I don't know
What to call it
Is it Jealousy?
Or something else

I don't want to lose
A close friend
Just because
Of my feelings

The feelings that haven't died
The feelings I have denied
The feelings that I lied
For the sake of myself

I am ****
For the lies
For the words
For the promises

I never intended to do

But for what
What reasons
For committing
These acts

It was the Guilt

The guilt that I kept you alive
The guilt that eats me up
The guilt that I broke your heart once
And the guilt that I am lying to keep you happy now

I all hurts

These chains that bind me
The binds of your feelings
For the one you see "me" as
But not the "me" i actually Am

I can't keep up

For you blinded yourself on what you want
But I cannot give you what I am
For It is not the one you really need
Nor the one you really deserve

It consumes me

The feelings of what keeps me up at night
The feelings that have bounded me to this
The feelings of what I failed to get rid off
That feeling that is slowly breaking me

It's eating me up as this goes on yet I cannot get rid of it

Another night
Where I stained
My pillow case again

Stained it with tears and blood
As I left another heart
broken

Unhealthy coping
Is the only thing
Giving me comfort

For it brings me
One more step
Closer to death

Love
A statement I've heard before
People say it's the best feeling
in the world, but it's not
We all know that song
"What is love, baby don't hurt me" right
But that's basically what Love is
It's nothing but pain and sorrow
With only a tiny hint of euphoria
And that euphoria only comes
To cover the the fact that the process
of love is impaling them with a blade
slowly embedding it deep upon their heart
And that is what love is
It's that blade you just stabbed them with
The blade that you will have to pull out of them
once you stop loving them
That's why it ******* hurts
It hurts when they stop loving you as
you are left to bleed out your emotions
Writhing in pain as they pull out the blade
slowly and mercilessly from your heart
Catching a glimpse of that
Moment of tangency
Seeing what might have been
If you just change
But now you are left with
That sinking feeling of Alazia
And a massive hole in your heart
continuously bleeding out
Those emotions that you have
That you wanted to give
To that one person you were suppose to love
That is why we crave
For the comfort of others
When we get our hearts broken
For we want to bleed out our emotions
To other people
As that feeling of love
Is quite addicting
That is why I try to find other ways
To cope with this
Addiction I have
The addiction of love
Even if I have to rely
On the comfort of a blade
As I cut my wrists
Just so I can use pain
As a distraction
In this madness
You call love

Love...
A cursed word
That I call my prison
The cell
The ruins of what's left
Of my broken heart
It's dark
Damp
And Nothing but shards
Which has buried deep
Within my skin
Waiting for someone
To find the key
And release me
From this hell