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yelhsa Aug 4
What do I have to do to be accepted
to be me, to be judgement free.
I couldn't even fit in with my own family.
Half of them don't even speak to me and don't dare speak of me, they'll shut u up immediately.
Yes, I can be a handful, they call me dramatic
but they never wondered what caused me to develop very bad habits.
They ignored it,
so, I turned to drugs and alcohol.
My own image is distorted.
I wonder if BPD was just genetics, because my own mother can be so hectic.
Or if it was inflicted, by my older brother
that needed to bust quick, because he couldn’t get any *******.
yelhsa Aug 4
many things i know are unspoken,
as i sip this drink,
they start unfolding.
i tell myself,
‘i shouldn’t go there.’
to whom it may concern?
i don’t even know them!
they don’t believe me,
because i have BPD and addictions.
it’s unfair,
but they forget i'm very self aware.
if i didn’t care,
i wouldn’t be here.
i’m using this outlet,
to speak for my BPD peers!
  Aug 4 yelhsa
Nosy
Can a certain affection,
Perhaps feel as a victory
My love for you, platonically
Deeply rooted into my soul

My veins made for dancing ours,
My eyes made for meeting yours
Self made at heavens sake
I love you dearly my best friend.
yelhsa Aug 4
lately, i’ve been letting these days
go by.
i try not to think,
it’s helping, i don’t
want to cry.
it’s a good thing,
this i cannot lie!
lately, i’ve been taking in
the many things
i have accomplished.
proud to succeed.
many people don’t want
to see me achieve!
yelhsa Jul 12
To love my dad
is to never come with empty hands.
To have a talk with my dad,
is to set up a meeting,
and don't forget to write it on his note pad.
To hang out with my dad,
is to call one day randomly
and hope he includes you in his plans.
I grew up without a dad I say this figuratively,
because he was their financially, but never physically.
People see the outside and say, "he's working hard for your future."
If only they could walk in my shoes they'll see they had no clue.
My dad compares me to all the women he ever lusted,
and that's just weird to me.
He would ask me,
Why don't you wear make-up,
you'll look prettier.
Why don't you lose weight,
more men will come your way.
It's always why aren't you like them,
will he ever love me for who I am?
At times I wonder does he have shame to call me his daughter?
I have no male figure,
the ones that I call family they all have let  me down,
go figure!
To my daddy,
he will never read this because I know this is not his interest.
For the father that caused emotional abuse.
yelhsa Jul 5
i would give anything to go back in time!
i hate this day,
i wish i would’ve never said hey!
i wonder why i even looked your way,
i was betrayed!
you could never forgive me cuz you caught a case,
but your dead to me for leaving bruises in my face.
all the fake love you are such a disgrace!
you’re gone forever and i’m glueing my self together,
i feel like a broken vase.
yelhsa Jul 5
I am all the good things you can think of,
I am a woman of wonders!
Leave me to do it all,
I'll comeback with no flaws!
I leave dropped jaws.
I hate to wonder,
why I always get fumbled.
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