Lead ***** Indian
glowing on the desert
horizon
plastered on a postcard
taped to the dashboard
your palm reads like a road map
to hell and back
scars made up and stapled shut
lipstick stained paper cup
crystallized amphetamines in a bag
coat hanger lock pick
got me in
not out of this
drink up little darling
liquor costs me nothing
tongue on your neck
sharp teeth on your neck
dull teeth on your neck
love me to death
**** me to death
drink me to death
share a cigarette
yeah yeah
share a cigarette
all your gonna get
all youll ever get
down in the canyon
with the coyotes
they all wanna know
all wanna show
what im dealin with
up up goes the bottle
down down goes the fire
into my head
playing with knives
got me ******
standing up straight
stumble heavy
apologizing for preying
on a defensless calf
blood suckle sunday
desert flavored sundae
rattle snake humming
son of a preacher
call call
yellow eye
call call
blue eye
call all the children
back to the fold
I'm part of the pack now
feeling so fast now
teeth to the throat now
yeah yeah heavy is the lust
heavy is the lust
heavy is the lust
heavy is the lust
heavy is the lust
heavy is the lust
for blood] for ****[

Everyone's dealin' with their own personal demon but I'm only ever bein' seen as a monster
Always judged accordingly, ironically by one family friendly imposter after another
Every other sinner the world over is allowed their own irrational feelings to be front and center
For them love is always the answer to offer, reassuring they need look no further
But I gotta "**** it up" and "move on" from this gutter faster which I take as to make sure my 50 caliber finisher is fully loaded with one in the chamber
And if the **** thing doesn't misfire on the first pull of this here trigger I figure I'll be a single bullet Russian roulette winner hero figure or would that make me a loser?
Am I an incurable cancer? I think I know the answer but I'm not sure and I'm sure not a doctor
However, it's only a matter of time before everything I touch turns into a disaster
Could it be that I'm just a carrier? An infectious delivery driver with t-rex arms making steering clear that much harder
What is pretty ******' clear is my presence here makes no one's life better, just spoiling the atmosphere, so I back pedal out of the picture
Then you label me a quitter the moment you notice I'm no longer there to be your *******
I guess I'll take that title if it'll make it easier or help you to feel better about what went down here, just please don't allow yourself to stay bitter forever
But rather allow time to erase my lingering stench of failure from the air altogether
It's only fair that I make way for you and anyone here to enjoy life without the fear of me being anywhere near
Your bright future wasn't mine to take and alter so I'll round up every bit of pain I caused that made your heart heavier and your life harder than it needed to be ever
Then take it with me to be a sacrificial offer next to me on the alter like a lamb to slaughter
Tomorrow will be the first day of the rest of your forever with no black cloud loomin' over

I gotta ask...

Who do I apologize to once the deed is done and I pull out of the race, refusing to run
Instead, turning the starting gun on myself to become a ghostly astral projection
It should be everyone but it'll be close to no one due to a punctured lung and crushed windpipe from being hung from inside the hole I dug starting back when I was young
No human being person type thing had a single **** to spare, not a one
Wouldn't even let a rerun apology or empty sympathy roll off the tongue, and forget empathy, ain't capable of none
Couldn't hear or didn't care before I was gone so I'm a shoe in to continue on holdin' the same position I've been in from my beginnin', now doesn't that sound like fun?
I've gone and done the forbidden so any opinion of me will only worsen as they lose sight of who I was as a person
Forgettin' my mind was a maximum security prison, the only way out presentin' itself to me was a coffin
But you're only focusin' solely on one particular fraction of an action
Ignorin' why that particular path was even taken in the first place, don't be mistaken, it wasn't a knee **** reaction
A quick observation and the pain would have been plain as the nose on your face but I caught no eyes lookin'
Just heads turnin' away the exact moment I notice 'em watchin'
Silently each formed their own conclusion and brought with 'em some ******* opinion from their twisted vision of me, all to feed the illusion
The one that claims I took the easy way out without explorin' any other option
You say you know me, you call me friend but have proven not to be in the end
But by all means, go ahead and continue to pretend you're the better person

How could you have known...

First of all, exhaustion was half the reason I was even in that head space
I could only envision this exact endin' ever takin' place as I fell from grace
I gave up tryin' to replace the dark with light cause try as I might it was all in vain, and in my haste I didn't notice the byproduct of a chronic toxic waste
Every attempt to place one foot in front of the other was riddled with set backs and laced with failure and I could never seem to rid myself of the foul taste of my own biohazard base
I'll be just another cold case with more than a trace of evidence but the answers in the proof aren't important enough to chase, never the time nor the place
Given up on before I even started the race so no warm embrace at the finish, no congratulatory smile from a familiar face
No one there to return my dinghy smile that's held in place with cheap elementary school Elmers glue paste
Why was the tare down so quick to take place with hardly an ounce of effort but the rebuild progressed at a snails pace?
There were many who watched all this take place in real time but avoided eye contact whenever face to face and I'm convinced that would have continued to be the case
I know I'm a disgrace now but wasn't until now so what excuses are you going to pull from your briefcase of two face ******* and put in place explaining why you turned your back on me in the first place, back at my birthplace?

Surprise surprise...

...a silence washes over the crowd. What happened to how proud you were with your intentionally loud gossip predicting what round I'd go down?
Were you only joshin'? Just clownin' around? Didn't think you could ever or would never be bound to something so profound?
Well here we are, you called it, the words bound freely from your mouth but now that things have gone south you're no longer able to enjoy the sound so you just turn it down
Or were you one of those hanging around saying I'd never do it but if you ever bothered to look into it you'd find the proof of the opposite truth can be found
But no, it's gotta be that I'm just desperate for all the attention it would bring to my part of town
Whatever, doesn't matter now, you could have never comprehended the reason why while shooting for cloud nine I got stuck six clouds down and wasn't able to post up for a rebound
It's only understood by people who've had the same problem with ups and downs and picking themselves up to finish the round after being so down and out that sea level was seen as higher ground
I know the way my last act went down is frowned upon and the deformation process was bound to take place once I was no longer part of the crowd
But look, you want to know why I choked down a handful of pill bottles for my second time 'round?
My problems were gaining on me quickly, I was steadily losing ground
They had to be drowned or at the very least inhumanely put down
I was no longer fun to be around, a bad joke turned evil clown
My darkness broke free from the compound where it was bound
And now wherever you see me it too can be found
Every day a new battleground
Every sundown a new showdown
A new possibility to possibly be hellbound
Just please set me gently when you put me down
And I'll try to do the same when I let you down.

©2022

Only God can help you now and and I don't see him here, do you?
I asked you a question motha plucker!! DO! YOU! SEE HIM?! He's certainly nowhere in my view
What's he gonna do, bust in her on some kind of divine rescue?
Kick the door off the hinges and run through, swoop you up and save you?
As a grown asss man how does that idea not perplex you?
If he exists he's forgotten all about you, he's forsaken all but a few
And the slough of sins you've happened to accrue became an issue
He's turned a deaf ear to every sincere word you've ever cried into that pew
Oh but you've never been alone, the devils there for us all
To answer the desperate call for help when our life's in a free fall
When we pledge to give anything for that one thing we believe to be a cure-all
Turn to an inadamint object for a sec for a possible answer to it all
"Oh magic eight ball...is there even any hope for me at all?"
"Not a chance" reads on the small dice, that's when you offer up your small life
Hand over your soul and heart packaged nice in a Ziploc bag full of ice
And at that percice moment he hands over your dreams but at a price
As eventually the good days splice off giving way, showing your sacrifice
A new nightmare trasnforms from your paradise, what once was used to entice
Turns to a vice that's twice as powerful when used as an evil device
And of course, by then, it's far to late to stop this from happenin'
The Lord's furry captured by a heathen stolen through the Golden gate, taken from heaven
Good heavens, where's Chris Evens? We need the captain
But a heros shield held by a broken zero is a domed zeppelin
Soooooo...I win, dark beats light again
I've racked up so many that we should change that old time sayin'
The one about how light always trumps dark cause I leave no question
Leave no doubt in anybody's mind that good doesn't always come out the champion
If you've ever watched any wrestlin' you've seen that the heel or the villian
Gets his hand raised often, over and over again and god willin'
I'll can keep continuin' this stylin', profilin', limousine ridin', jet flyin', kiss-stealin', wheelin' n' dealin' with a little added blood spillin' till my will 'n passion come unfastened or to an abrupt end
That's your only hope so I hope it doesn't ever happen

©2023

I always thought the world was out to get me
All the **** you put me through left me
hot and angry
I never did realize what I had and now that
I'm thinking back it wasn't all that bad.
Now all I do is mope around
till my face hits the ground
I'm choking now!
till I can't make a sound.
You ******* *****
Screamin and dealin
With issues I've never ******* seen before
So I walk up to the doctors office and I say
*******,
you better give me something to take this
******* pain away
Don't think I won't take this gun
and put it to your head
The monsters are out from my closet
and in my ******* head
50 Oxys in a bottle to take me on vacation for a day
Aye,
It ain't much
but it's the reason I stay

went from catfish and grits
to hoppin licks
off cheap bricks
i benefits
hood felon rhymes
like gelatin
beat fools til they
skeleton
a lonely man
cant stand in a holy land
temples with burning sand
sweating through my glands
once the mic touches
my hand
im. better than
the averago joe
**** a sho or video
im.coming through ya stereo
with multiple scenario
hangin in the hood bario
sayin there he go
yosef with that sick
o flow my mo jo
burn tracks harder
than flow jo
oh i thought you knew
i break crews
through scandals
none could handle
my pressure
running across yo brain
similar to rick James
i got fire and desire
step up my game
so i could get higher
learning thais i be
burning preach to ya like a sermon
big as herman
monster way down under
ya can see mu ponder
shake ya body up
lik sounds of thunder
make ya wonder
who stick ya cells
like glue
with this rhymes i t
rhymes make loot
but unsigned and hype
spittin' right
so i cant loose it
abuse it
southern playa listic
jammin' funk music

Now that ya out
Of ya seat i got the beat
For the streer
Far from neat and
Suckas can't compete
Against the elite
Once i show my
Pistol pete brains meet
The led from my steel
**** mass appeal seal
The deal
Never cross my hands
No gestures
Could put me on a stretcher
Hittin' rhymes so hard
Ill betcha
You run into not knowing who
I could be
Flows like b to i to g
Names biggie ya im
Gettin' jiggy
Been writing poetry
Since i was leeched
On my momma *******
Break milk gave nutritions
Im formin cold fusions
Abusin' aint no substitutin'
Far from.boring
Give these cats a
Pillow til they snoring
Borin' rhymes be Pourin'
Sourin' out the night
Nd my organization be
**** tight sho ya right
Im havin funs
While ya stuck in shuns
Check my creation
From concoction burial plottin'
Ya body be rotten
Once my flows assist
Ya mind like Stockton
On Utah Jazz spinn around
Hataz like taz
Leave suckas with a
Dash check in yo cash
Its pay out time
Im coming across enemy lines
All the time
With these dope lines

Crossin- me is like
A step through eternity
Journey with me
The yosef aint going
Out quietly roughly
I be the G super slick
With no perms on me
Keep a pick in my hair
Step if you dare
Bound to get mauled
If you to my lair
Rhymes stack like layers
Pyramid scheme cyclin' beams
As my force shows supreme
Slim yo weight
Cuz im gainin' much clout
No doubt
Put my shades on
So i can block spectators out
I make ya scream and shout
Like service in a
Church building hittin the ceiling
And im chillin'
Free willin' makin' sales
Like dealin'
Shot rhymes faster than
Matt Dillion noggins fillin'
Like buckets of water
Step to the arena be prepare for slaughter
Breakin' off so properly
Texas state property
Move so gracefully
Nothing but tha ahh
Southern playa in me