I am not afraid to die.
Maybe it is because
The effort of existing is
Expanding my lungs exponentially
And when they explode,
I will deflate
But I have come to terms
With the fact that
What goes up, must come down.

You wrote to me,
"Do you like being human?"
And I said,
"What else is there?"

I do not believe in God.
God does not believe in me.

I want to carry my mortality
Close to me
To hear it collide with the loose change in my pocket
To check to see if it is still there
When the sun trades places with the moon
And my father smells like coffee.

I like the feeling of
Smoke igniting my throat
Because then I can convince myself
It is only the tobacco
That is eating me from the inside out.

I do not want to be immortal,
The thrill of being alive is that
It is a privilege.

Why do you want to be God?
You will know evil,
My god, you will know evil.
There is no cure,
Not even you
Not even you
But that is okay because
Nothing is good, if everything is good
Nothing is good
Nothing is good.

Let me feel your humanity,
I want to feel
You.
Tell me, do you like being human?
Tell me, what else is there?

There is a man, somewhere, that is about to grab his hair with both hands and nearly rip it out of his skull by the roots because he is having ******* withdrawals after having decided to stop several days ago.
At this very moment, a woman is crying on her porch, her legs drawn to her chest as she mourns the death of her husband the day before by putting a cigarette to her lips for the first time in 3 years, inhaling familiarity.
Tonight, some 20 year old recovering alcoholic put his back to the wall and slowly let himself slide down, sitting with his feet in front of him.
Leaning his head back and closing his eyes, he let out a breath he had been holding for 70 days as he felt the accustomed burn of alcohol in his throat.  
Logically, it is easy for me to process these things because as a child, I was thoroughly educated on the addictive chemicals found within drugs and alcoholic drinks.
Yet, I was never taught about the addictive qualities in a person.
I never knew it was physically possible to ache from the soles of my feet to the top of my head because your arms were medicinal for my limbs.
I was not aware that my teeth would begin to chatter when a year had gone by since your finger last ran across my bottom lip.
I was not ready for the nights where I would stay awake until sunrise because I could not sleep without hearing your voice before I closed my eyes.
I may not have injected heroine into my system but you injected love straight into my bloodstream and there is no amount of water that will allow me to wash this out and be clean.
You are a tempting bottle of whiskey that sits in my kitchen every day after I say I'm going to stop drinking,
and even smoking 4 packs a day will not rid me of the withdrawals of the faint smell of cigarettes on your clothes when you were asleep next to me.
If there were a rehab for me to go to, I would go,
because this habit will be a lot harder to break than biting my nails.
-c.g

in my child's eye...
it is possible,
for a frog, to choose to fly.
a dog to dance and
cats to swim.

it is possible,
to build a castle,
up into the sky.
to converse with stars.
for elephants to drive,
tiny cars.

it is possible,
that the world,
is without sin
and washed clean,
each morning,
which is to be met
with an insouciant grin.

it is possible,
to befriend the child
you just met....
no matter what creed
or colour.

it is possible,
to forgive
and live,
without regret
and to sleep
at night
without any stress.

it is possible,
at that age,
to know ....
a dollar found upon
the sidewalk,
is a treasure
of great proportions,
if made into,
lollies and shared,
with friends.

it is possible...
that fish can write stories
and possums delight

it is possible to count
a monkey as a friend.

it is possible to ride
kangaroos and
adventure to Timbuctoo

it is possible,
to love spaggetti
as much as your mother.
to make the new kitten,
your brother.

it is possible,
to love your dad
even when he is silly
or mad...


all this is possible...
                   ....and much more
when you are just,
one year, past four...
                      ...and you have a
sunny, lovable disposition
and the world has yet to
find the time, to revise
the freedoms of your amazingly beautiful mind...

            it is possible....
        and in many ways
          so very probable...

Einstein's Relativity tells us that time slows at fast speeds,
So much so that it stops when travelling at the speed of light.
As you look up at the stars tonight think of this:
The photons that travel across the universe to your retina,
Are created in the depths of a star and destroyed within your eye,
In the same instance.

You plucked the words "our little secret"
From your lips
And shoved them between mine
With such force
That I choked on them
For years
Until eventually
I spat them out
On your grave.