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What a melancholy night.
Thoughts so loud
They shock me with fright.
Whispers of aid,
Created by me.
Comfort alone,
By naked trees.
More touch I receive
From fields of green.
Wiping tears gently onto my sleeve.

For all I desire,
Is true company.
aj king Feb 16
The other me stares at the true me from the corner of the room
she taunts me,
mocks me,
knowing that no matter where I go,
no matter what I do,
I will never rid of her.
The other me that was born in this world to replace the true me.
The other me that is sick, disgusting
and evil.
The other me that hates everyone around her,
and bares her teeth at anyone who gets close.

The other me that was born from the imaginations of others.
The other me is how they imagine me.
The other me, created from their bias, lies, and misperceptions.
Truth is of no matter here.
Only appearance, the way things look.

And the other me speaks and says,
You will walk this earth as nothing but a ghost,
a reflection of me.
You will try to fight me until your knuckles bleed
and your feet are sore.
But you know that you will never win.
You will die one day
and I will live forever.
Sleepz Feb 10
We wake up to that alarming sound,
Pick up the cellphone

Scroll, Scroll, Scroll
Unread messages, missed calls

The darkness and lonesome of waking up,
Covered, Isolated,
but recharged from the constant stimulus
and daily overload of the senses.

Eyes feel weighted,
Stretching open as if rubber bands hold them shut.

The sound of TVs, Music, Cars,
Technology
Dressing well, presentation is key.

The anxiety of fulfilling plans, responding to emails, presenting your body to wherever it needs to be.  

Enslaved by the concept of time,
the necessary effort to find time for you,
but the feeling of losing, and the learned mentality that tells you to be lazy is to sit.  

In this quiet realm,
listening to ones own thoughts and wondering:
how many of these are a result of influence?  

Where am I?  
Where is me?

Everyday we wear this armor,
ready to battle,
but seeking
peace,
tranquility.

When was the last time you noticed the birds chirp?
The patterns of wind, as is winds up,
and as it winds down.  
As it quiets down enough to hear a pen drop,
and then it leaves you for a moment.
The cold as it triggers goosebumps and lifts the hair on your arms.

The annoyance of grass,
irritating your bare skin as you sit on it,
but you choose tolerance.  

And all of this provokes the realization,
of the constant loop you are in.  
To get here you have to escape.

The expectations of each one of your roles,
Son or Daughter, Man or Woman, Friend or Foe, to choose you or someone else,
Human.
The appoinments of life,
the need to insistingly value your time,
the sin of escaping your daily routine.

Days like these

A machine constantly in motion

To be the free bird that fights for survival,
where a meal is never guaranteed.
Or to be caged,
and fed by the social constructs,
and partake of what is given to you.  

Either way,
A loop is a loop.
British Literacy Analysis - William Blake Inspiration : Woodsworth, Letters of the early spring
~
You're an island in the anodyne brisk.

You're a holm of lonesomeness.

Your divers in deep diorama
sink like boats.

There's coins and clothing
and troubling notes
left by a female passenger
imprisoned on watery shore.

Run aground,
you harbor regret,
and speak in tongues of folklore.

If I had an ocean I'd give you to it.

~
R N Tolliday Oct 2021
My room is at the end of this corridor…
There are a lot of things in my room…
But my room key is missing,
I don’t know know where it is…
I don’t know…

When I entered my room alone.

My room is at the end of this corridor…
There are a lot of things in my room…
But my room key is missing,
I don’t know know where it is…
I don’t know…

When I entered my room alone.

It is the best, to break through the door!
A song by bluebeard.

Bluebeard was a Japanese emotional rock band, active around the early 2000s. The band's music had a likeness to the emotional rock scene happening in the States: Sunny Day Real Estate, Mineral, Texas is the Reason, etc, and bluebeard carved out an identity for themselves in the indie music scene in Tokyo. (Emotional Rock, or emo rock, is the same genre as the more popular American Football.) In a rare interview, it became known that bluebeard intended for their music to be at the same level as the bands of their influence, and worked hard to do so, so they could be enjoyed by a wider audience, including the States.

Their genius showed: in 2015 the band had a year-long reunion, much like American Football and Mineral at that time, and ended for packed venue(s). Just like American Football, the band had only released one full length album.

Yoshikazu Takahashi is one of the brains behind the music of bluebeard, and he is the voice behind the lyrics. Snow, was written about the singer songwriter's loneliness he experienced at adolescence. At writing it, he was likely around the age of 20.

If you're talking about the great emotional rock bands that make up that era: listen to Bluebeard, who saw the scene as it was happening in the States, and emulated what they heard and saw with soul and unique vision. The truth behind their lyrics, the genius of their music's composition, the mentor influences from British punk bands who Yoshikazu idolised (and likely others), and Yoshikazu's own soulful, renegade voice: bluebeard bleeds that era of emotional rock.
The rain always comes when you least expect it.
Like a drunken car - crashing into a busy restaurant
Or
It'll tap your shoulder from behind and whisper
"We were always with you"

So
I always have to be ready to run,
remove myself from me
like a shirt on fire.
Then hide,
between the sheets,
in a tasteless cup of tea from a ****** restaurant
or in a toilet stall.
In somewhere where the limit of my reality
are within an arm's reach
where there are no holes for shadows to creep in.

But
Are there such places?
Can anyone carry such a world on their back
like refrigerator,
open the door when you want to 
hide and hide.

I am always in heavy rain
or in a heavy drought
without a spring with blossoming flowers 
and birds chirping
(I don't even remember what the flowers look like)
When there's barely a moment of calm
I'm starting to feel black
Like a drop of black ink


I stand before my strangeness
It is worn on my forehead like a red 
streak that cannot be erased.
In the city square or the buses or trains
waves upon waves of people
in a sea of human voices,
all of them know something I don't know
They are all in a secret society
Where do their rivers of love flow?
When will their volcanoes of hatred erupt?
Seas of brotherhood, storms of violence
None of my items are on my map

My map full of feelings I copied from books
I am walking along that map without understanding 
Like dancing according to the illustrations of a book
(while everyone watches)
 
(I think) I am not a human
None of them wants to talk to me
Maybe it's because of the red spot on my forehead
Or maybe because I can't dance and they know it
Then it starts to rain

I can feel my face melting
(I always had a fear of what my face was doing 
when sitting in front of others)
I want to hide from the rain.
I struggle to close my eye which is broken 
off of me and looking at me

The rain is getting heavier and 
it is melting the concrete towers of the city
That rain is not beautiful
as much as in other people's poems
(Nothing is as beautiful as it is in poetry)
 
Maybe others are lying
Because to them
the rain is so beautiful that 
they are doing everything to avoid it.
The silence,
Is heavy.
As is my heart.

I am surrounded
With glory,
And great works of art.

I have books of plenty,
And luxuries of many.

Yet my mind,
And soul,
Are somber and lonely.

As I have glory to share,
But nobody,
To care.
This poem is about how having the most luxurious of things cannot beat the feeling of loneliness. Money is not company.
VG E Bacungan Jan 14
In this hollow white space
Its been two five seven days.
The sky dusks again.
Written 23 November 2020

Original Commentary: Wrote this one earlier when I remembered how long I've been away from home. This COVID pandemic is draining for both the physique and the psyche.
Bella Isaacs Jan 13
The end of last year, and the beginning of this
Spell something like suspense, a familiar kiss
Upon both my frostbitten cheeks, Hello.
These are chaste waves now, at your window:
Barren is the land of my hand, I write nothing,
And I hope for nothing, still carrying
A foreign slogan by my heart for one
I dedicated my deeds to, who's gone
With my writing, since my girlhood arrived
And said she was here to stay, contrived
To do so until we thaw, until limbo
Passes over, until someone says, Hello,
And I answer. Because I don't want anything
Except, maybe, just not to want anything.
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