A thousand chances I gave to you
Each one you carelessly broke
I called you my soulmate
Now that word just makes me choke
Why do I always fool myself
And believe your honeyed lies?
Falling for the next facade
Before the last tear even dries
Our love is a labor of loyalty
But I carry it's heavy weight
Despite how much it wears me out
Or slows down my wobbly gait
Which requires an impressive grip
So I don't drop you from my hands
When most would have given up by now
My tired frame continues to stand
Throughout misadventures
As seasons pass us by
I hold our relationship up
Even when you hardly try
Your absence is tearing me to shreds
Strangling me with misery
And the cuts all over my insides
Bleed out though no one can see
Since you abandoned ship
Feel older than ever before
Loneliness is aging me
From my surface to my core
Seeking refuge from the storm
Safe haven I can't seem to find
Cannot escape the sight of your face
You're everywhere I turn in my mind
But you have no comfort to offer
Except in dreams and memories
So I fill my reality with questions
Stuck in consecutive reveries
The coldest summer I've experienced yet
Though the sunshine is bright overhead
I am frozen straight through the bone
Even with somebody new in my bed
The beat in my chest sounds quieter now
My pulse slow and miniscule
Death would be easier than this I am sure
But I am not a coward
Only a fool
Running circles with my eyes tightly shut
Wasting away as time passes me by
Living life on autopilot
In a stupor
More like a zombie since you said goodbye
Sometimes it feels like my life is a movie I am watching but cannot control
