I was made for hopeless dedication, for love that feels like poetry. And it exists because I carry it with me. It's heavy and I can't put it down.

Why would I choose you?
And flatter yourself under my skin
With visions of
What you think I should worship you?
Why would I choose you?
You’d never know the words
***** poets do to you
You’re not the only one
Don’t flatter yourself
With something you can touch
But will never understand

Cancer is a thief
It stole your faith,
Your lust for life

Cancer is a thief
It stole your breath, your lungs
And you from me

Death is not the end of life,
But growing up feels like the end of mine
As I got older, so did you
And you can’t do all the things you used to do
Which made me realize just how much things change

My size, soul, body, thoughts
Your skin, your energy
My memories are all I have left of you,
And of my childhood
Nothing is the same

And I think that it’s okay
That things change
You have to do it sometime
But I wish cancer didn’t steal
What I wanted to have forever

Cancer is a thief
It stole your breath, your lungs
And you from home

Cancer is a thief
It stole your faith,
Your lust for life

Cancer is a thief
It stole you from me

I am every age I’ve ever been,
And she lives inside of me.

I changed, I grew
But I’ll always remember
What it feels like to be 12, 10, 2
To view the world from a perspective
Stolen from me by aging

Now as I grow taller, older, wiser
It is my job to make her happy
The child still inside of me
Who just needed someone like me

I went for a drive today
And pleaded with someone inside of me
Squeezing my arm and dragging me into
The idea that running away
would fix everything
I could have been gone this entire time,
I realized
As nobody thought to check on me
I drove down the roads I grew up on
And passed every house of everyone I’ve ever known
And knew that they could not host me
So I drove further
The beach welcomed me with warmth and
The sound of children laughing around me
Feeling the magic I lost years ago
I could have been gone this entire time
I thought
As no one looked at me twice
I walked this time, and into the water
I could have been gone this entire time, i realized as no one stopped me

Please break me
Hurt me
If you want to be mean
Be mean to me
I can take it
Just like that
I know the whole time you’ll be here
And i make you feel powerful enough to stay