it was one of
those days

and I needed
no one to know

so I opened my
mouth wide

and created
no sound

it was my
inside scream

letting go of
everything

letting everything
penetrate me

the vibrations
breaking ribs

I was caving in

you HAVE
to go your own way.

whether you like it or not,
that's where you're g o i n g.

so you might as well
make it
weird
and fun
  as hell.

I don't understand
so much
but the grief-- that's real  
Unexpected
Grief often comes that way

I lost the you I knew

Misunderstood-- the ways of you
Uncontrollable-- the heart of me

What do I do?
With all the love?
Leftover?

mental illness is the
most expensive thing
i've ever owned but
never wanted

The rain came down,
and it keeps coming down,
so nourishing to the parched earth
yet so gloomy and low. It fits the mood.
An event that must happen, for the world to survive
But that, in the moment, only feels like a dreary moodsetter on a blustery day.
It isn’t too dark out. Despite the rain coming down in torrents, it’s still bright.
As I drive along the highway I see that rays of
sunshine are poking out from behind the clouds, and I think that,
somewhere along the distance, from the right vantage, where the brilliant sun rays
hit the storm droplets at just the right angle, there might be a rainbow
somewhere.
Just too far gone down the road for me to see it.

you might not
have been my first love
but you were the one
who hurt the most.