you didn’t notice that i’m fading
you have your family
i don’t have mine
you were

my chest's burning like
i'm ready to slam my phone
and i'm just so sick of

adjusting my feelings
revising my words
setting up my smiles

to keep everyone happy
avoid another contrariety
runaway from the reality

a baby born crying then
you forced her to laugh

rain at night
war of thunder
i'm soaked and scared
said,
wait for me, father

but he didn't stay
and i had dead

purple flowers
on top of a mountain
he pointed at them
i hiked
thorns in bare hand

but he didn't stay
and i had dead

i'll be a king if he wants me to
and i'll be a corpse if he wants me to
i did
and i can keep doing it

and he still didn't stay
but i'm alive

why do we born
to be weak
to be owned
to recover alone

why do we taught
not to say no
not to be heard
not to be complete

you were right in front of me
but i missed you so bad
like you're not there

you only wanted to be loved
why can't i give it
why can't we
to each other

i've invited her to
a dark place which
is called my mind and
she stayed with me

i've taken her to
a rushing river which
is called my tears and
she swam in deep

i've walked her through
an eggshells path which
is called my traumas and
she held me tight

i don't even feel like
i need to make her stay
cause she will

i don't hate you
i fear you
and you make me stay by
teaching me that
to love is to fear and
to fear is to love