I am happy I am free
Or so I think

While I struggle to build my earthly identity,
I have overlooked the person I aspire to be
when I come face to face with God.

I desire to be strong and rich,
to live at the pinnacle of my dreams.
But how much poorer could I be
chasing all this ephemeral glory?

Have I forgotten to envision life like Mary?
Where the hungry are filled with good things,
the rich are sent away empty,
and the proud of heart are routed.

I have missed the treasures of love, humility, and grace
in pursuit of transient laurels in life's race.

the world is filled
with many mean people
i lie awake at night
thinking about all the hurtful things
they've said to me
and the cruel things they've done to me

but not the hurtful things i've also told them
and the horrible things i've done to them

How great are the things unfathomable:
The vastness of the universe,
The becoming of departed souls,
and ancient life unexplored;

Such is the Holiness of the Divine
Infinite, transcendent, sublime
Perpetually sought by the human mind
Its mysteries untamed by time

But behold, the Creator's majesty
In his creations, lie resilient beauty
From the soaring sky to the deepest sea
Each one is a work of His artistry

We often reject ideas beyond our grasp
The mysteries our minds cannot outlast
So, in times we doubt God's presence,
His love is revealed in nature's essence.

Should you away into the peaceful and the quiet,
under the moonlit skies,
do not bid me goodbye.

Let me soar with you up high.

Folks are dying to sleep
While I am sleeping to die
Folks are dying to live
And here I am living to die

Some days, I'd stare at the sky and whisper, "Perfect."
Sometimes I'd gaze at the mountains and say, "Breathtaking."
At times I'd peer into the deep sea and think, "Amazing."
But everytime I look at the mirror I say, "Beautiful!"

On roads I am lost;
and of coin, I am empty.
Of words, I have least;
and of weight, I feel heavy.

"she is all the flowery words in the dictionary combined.
she means the world to me."

as I lay in bed
with these flowery thoughts inside my head
wishing he'd tell me the verses exactly as I said

but only **** comes out of his mouth instead

your eyes, they sparkle
with your smile, i marvel
and with your smell, i flutter
but your heart... just artful

Fifty years from now, I may not be the person whom I thought I would be
I may not have served the job I dreamed of having
I may not be living in a house I dreamed of building
I may not be married with the person I am in love with right now
I may not have made peace with the past

But fifty years from now,
I hope,
I have decluttered my mind
I may be old but I will be beautiful
I may not have reached my dreams
But I will remember the moment I wrote this -
I am young and dreaming
I may have let my younger self down
But somehow I know now what my younger self had not known
I may not have traveled the world
But my eyes have seen what my younger self had not yet seen

Fifty years from now, I may not be as alive as I thought I would be
I may be under the ground with a dirge or requiem
Maybe two or three people crying or maybe none
But as that time comes,
May I never forget
That fifty years ago,
I have fought with my whole life.

Why must you worry of my callowness?
Fearing that I may lose control and take the road of the fallen.
Why must you deem me feeble just because I am young?
Telling me that I must worry of the future and sacrifice the moment.
Why must you frown upon my footsteps?
And I wonder why you should when you have never walked on my shoes?
Elders, haven't we all been there?
Judged and warned by those who are older to only take the path the winners have taken.
We were stubborn indeed but I have learned
To live my life without their watchful eyes and sharpened tongues
You may call me a fool for taking no heed of your warnings
But this is my life
And I have to suffer it
Understand that I will never trade my experience
For your unpleasant augury.
You have been there.
You have loved, taken risks, done foolish things and taken the road of the fallen
For such is life
And no one is normal
That is why I refuse to be controlled by the seers
For life is an ache that only hurts for a moment
Pain and failure is a gift
And we must endure suffering
For such is the only way to hoard strength
We must fail and let loose
For such is the right way to experience life
Let me suffer it.

Five years of life lost --
the suffering incessant;
life imprisonment, perpetual torment...
But here I stand defiant.

Sanity lost to chaos;
godforsaken, anxiety stricken...
Yet courage lay pungent --
ever resilient

I am the pit and the craters
Fondled by cosmic rocks
and chemical dusts

I am the dragon,
from the eastern realm
Fiery and red,
I bring blood to the lunar light I lust

I am the brighter light
The giant of the great Milky Way
Without I, the eternal fire
This poem wouldn't have existed tonight

I am blue, I am green and I breath
I am hundreds of lightyears away
and the only body with eyes to see
How you illuminate my land when lost in flames

The paper flowers you gave me
Are kept so safe in my closet
I refuse to throw them away
For they were crafted with sweat and love
But my mother, my mother
Grabbed them and tossed them
Into the trash bin
My mother, my mother
Her bitter soul, I slowly succumb to

I like it when you smirk. You look so cute and I think that's insane because at the same time, I want to rip your mouth apart.
Your eyes are so soft and lovely and it is amazing because I'd like to toss a dart
directly at it.
Your face glows like the moon. That's why I love staring at them. But it's a sad fact that the moon has mountains and craters and so is your face.
I am passionate about your lips. They are in perfect shape. I wonder how it tastes... like. Though they may be induced with cigarettes.
You look like an angel to me. So tender and holy though full of sin you may be. You actually look so heavenly... with that malignant smile, a devil in disguise.

It was Loredas,
21st of Heartfire
My husband, in Whiterun
my next harbinger, I deem
For the song of the oldest bard he sung
And his face with black ink
Marks his faith to the Companions
In Jorrvaskr he was born, with Vilkas, his twin
In Loredas, he brought to me,
A soul filled sapphire ring
In Riften he swore to Mara and me,
"May the winter freeze Tamriel, and the drought drain the spring, but our love, my dear, will flourish in Skyrim"

5-25-18

If I was to write a fiction,
there would be no characters,
nor a plot, nor lyrical expectations
just a blue scenery from my imagination
where cliffs are kissed by glacier snow
and saltwater cascade along their endless flow
where cosmic lights are framed with inlets called fjord
and lovers sing to the moon with melodious chords
where the ombre sky meets the liquid wine dark blue
and the sea fondles with the loving heavenly hue

June 21, 2018

without you my poems dont rhyme
my adjectives are never profound
you're the only one i know so sublime
my rhythms fathom without sound

i am Avunchnzel and you are my lexicon
waiting for you to return home
like meridia's lost beacon
but stolen thou art from me
and you have no power to return
neither do i to seek thee
for fearful am i to search the urn
in the catacombs they lie, hiding the most precious gem

There are many galaxies in the universe
But I only live in one
Just like what they say...
There are many fishes in the sea
But my heart only beats for one

A is for Arne whose throat was impaled
B is for Barnaby, killed with a spell
C is for Caroline who was stuck in a mine
D is for Daffy, sliced into lines
E is for Enid who was locked in an armoire
F is for Flynn, eaten by a gargantuar
G is for Gallus who was thrown in the winter
H is for Hilde, died of an infected splinter
I is for Ingrid who ate a sack of bearings
J is for Jona whose attitude was daring
K is for Kleinn who stepped on a shard
L is for Lars whose intestines were barred
M is for Max who flew alone to the moon
N is for Nelkir whose execution was coming soon
O is for Oliver whose body was twisted to death
P is for Plinny, burned by a fire breath
Q is for Qiara who died of a nightmare
R is for Ralph, committed suicide in despair
S is for Stefan who was lost in a maze
T is for Torlief whose blood was traced
U is for Ulfric who was burned at the stake
V is for Vera, swallowed by a snake
W is for Walter who ate himself
X is for Xenya, cursed by an elf
Y is for Ysagmor who was buried alive
Z is for Zach who failed to survive

What if we looked up to the sea
Instead of the sky?
And the clouds are the little islands
Would we wish to soar it up high?

We wouldn't drink the saltwater
when it rains...
Or watch the fishes raining down
our window panes

What if we swam the vast deep skies
Instead of the sea?
And we would catch stars for meals to eat
Would it make a perfect pair for sushi?

Submarines would dive deep from shore to space
I wonder how long it would take for them
To rise again above the surface

I’ll cross the sea first from the pier
Wavy saltwater, boats do steer
Across the volcano was that island dear
Blue skies make the green land appear

If I were a ship’s captain, I would voyage around
And explore San Miguel’s sandy ground
I’ll stick my ear to the waves and egrets’ sound
When the sunset comes, the mountains across are crowned

At night, I could sleep on this island’s sands
And gaze upon the million lights of the galactic hands
Or above are the palm trees swaying, proudly they stand
Or if not on the sands, we can hike above the highlands

The city lights reflect from the sea
So does the fishermen’s bright ferry
And oh the lighthouse above me
Illuminates the stratosphere gallantly

To God who created such beauty,
We adore the gift we received from thee.


The Lord God gave us the hand to take good care of his land
Let us maintain nature’s grand.

Once upon a time, I dreamed about thee
I saw a charming prince, so dear it amazed me
His eyes were as bright as the twinkling galaxy
Such a fantasy it could be

In every word he speaks makes the gardens bloom
It even brings life to the corpses in a tomb
My dear, what is thy name?
And from whence hast thou came?

I dreamt about thee, sailing on a tranquil sea
If only you could see through me,
How you lit my heart aflame
Oh dear, heed me in heaven’s holy name!

My soul drifts connecting our streams into one
Our sails paddled through leaving the waves behind
I see thee, mirrored from the sea, fine-lined
Your reflection was even brighter than the sun

Our sails drew closer when the sea aggravated its wrath
How can nature be so unkind?
Away we go, departing our path
Now my rhyme is lost like a wanderer in the night

It isn't my first time in Verment's Lair,
from the past few years, I've encountered its humid air.
The streams and rivers are fresh and clean.
Fortunately, not infested with creatures ever so mean.
I feel wonderful... The breeze sends me to sleep.
Like a warm beating heart to keep
me alive, I seek for thee.
Like a lover, I will strive.

I ventured forth where distant scenes widen my view.
The valley and the mountains, bathed in fluvial blue.
Like Rorikstead, the plains are suntanned tundra.
But my darling dear, as rare as aurora,
Thou art nowhere in sight.
Let's go home, and leave thy endless dream.
I am here, my dear, thy safe haven, gleam.

A frigid land, Oh Verment's Lair!
My heart is breaking...
For someone I know not where!
But I shall not go home.
I must find thee, though thee not appear.
The primeval trees, and starlit sky,
The snow capped mountains, they are my seer.
Fear not, my dear, my hopes are widened eyes.

So the wanderer journeyed alone,
past the path of his heart forlorn.
His fate been kind, and found his love
under the glowing highest of the high,
his lovely maiden lies...
But the glow suddenly pilfered from the sky
The thorny night thrusted through his translucent heart…
Seeing his love affair... a cast of light, and died.