They always said
'To love others you must first love yourself.'
I was a seasoned veteran in self-hate.
But you....Oh god, you...
I loved you so much
That for even the briefest moment
I forgot how much I hated myself.
Then I fucked up
And remembered again.
And I showed you my hate
And you understood.
Then you hated me, too.
I always wanted to be loved
By someone who hurt me less than I hurt myself.
But you...Oh god, you...
You gave me the poison-dipped dagger that pierced my soul.
You got me hooked on your acid blood.
I was addicted to your grip around my throat,
I was addicted to every second of the pain.
You hurt me.
And I let you.
Because you made me believe
I was hurting myself.
And your tonic of pain was the only thing that would heal me.