It was 4:00 am they were laying in bed with their bodies intertwined. She looks up at him he asks her what she’s thinking about. “You scare me” she says with a soft tremble , “why”? He asks with a sweet concern. “Because you make me feel safe” he pulls her in tighter as she rests her head on his chest.

“What if”
The two words that can keep me up at night worrying or calm the wild storm within me. What if I fall for him, while I’m still not over you? What if he makes me forget us, but What if your memory never lets me create new ones with him?
What if he makes me happier than I knew I could be, what if he destroys me more than you did. What if we fight and I wish I was with you. What if he can put the pieces back together, what if he falls in love with me and I break him? What if he does what he promises, what if I learn to trust him, what if I love him too, what if we live a happy life together. But what if 10 years down the road I still love you?
-LH

Babe It's getting late and I'm tired, I better drive home now she whispered.
It was the last thing she actually wanted to do as she felt the weight of his body on her lap, with one hand intertwined with his, and the other caressing his back.
The moment was perfect, sitting in silence just being with him
she could stay like that forever, but she could  feel those three
poisoned words wanting so desperately to escape her mouth, fear
started to set in, a deep real fear that this could all be coming to an
end in a few short weeks, how could that be, they had been through
so much, always coming back to each other like a wave to its shore.
She promised herself she could do it, she could be friends with him, she
could separate her feelings from his tainted lips and electrifying body.
But as she leans down placing her soft gentle lips on his head it's clear it's
too hard, she needs to escape, she can't get this close again, just for him to
leave, so she'll lie and tell him she needs to go, kiss him goodbye and once
again drive home with tear stained eyes.  
-LH

For the first time in five years I didn’t wish him happy birthday, I wanted to, I opened the phone, I typed in his name and saw the last two messages from me, two years of happy birthdays with no response.
I closed the screen and put my phone down, it’s over, he’s become a ghost in my story while I’ve become another Skelton for his closet.
I thought I would cry when I passed the hotel we stayed at, the first time we celebrated his birthday together, tonight it was just another building on my drive home.
Although we will never be lovers again, my heart wishes him well, as I’ve finally found peace and healing in once meaningful, but now mundane days.

I was prepared for the text that never came, the ones where you say you miss me, and want me back, they prepared me for those.
I was ready for the tears and sleepless nights, and how they would slowly stop.
You see when you go through heartbreak people comfort you and try to give you advice on how to get over them.
You know what they don’t prepare you for? They don’t prepare you for pulling up to a stoplight at 4:20 on a Friday afternoon, looking to your left and seeing the ghost you worked so hard to leave in the past. You’re not prepared for the way your heart stops and you suddenly have to catch your breath. There will be aftershocks of emotions, wondering what you should do. You’ll have this sudden urge to text him, Don’t! The aftershocks will stop, he didn’t see you, he’s not thinking of you, and this isn’t a sign.
Here’s what you do, turn on Taylor swift (Red album is most sufficient),cry it out, order pizza, and watch Grey’s Anatomy until you fall asleep.
You’ll wake up and it will seem that nothing has changed, but trust me everything has. You faced the fear you kept hidden in the back of your mind and came out stronger than you’ve ever been.

They keep telling me not to give up on finding love, that “the one” is out there for me, the thing is I haven’t given up on finding love, I’m simply accepting the love around and within me.
I have spent years chasing that romantic fairytale love, following what I thought were signs to happiness, only to end up at dead ends.
After too many sleepless nights, I had to wake up to reality and see that I am already truly and deeply loved, realizing that put everything in perspective.
There’s nothing wrong with being single, I can still accomplish my goals and dreams, I will be a mother, and raise beautiful children.
Relationships and marriage is a beautiful thing, but so is single hood especially when you realize you can stop seeking love my dear, you are love, you are beautiful, and you are living a life to be proud of.

These days I get off on dramatic poetry. Clinging to the words the way my lips clung to yours. I get wrapped in the emotions while remembering how we used to get wrapped in the sheets.
The goosebumps you would leave have long faded, but the memories make my body ache for days. My entire body used to burn with passion, now only my cheeks burn from hot tears.
Your whisper in my ear would send chills down my spine, the nightmares do the same.
You’ll always be my one that got away, the    hole my heart will always try to fill with an inner monologue or free verse.