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Kicking a dark pebble along
in early slanting light,
it tumbles oblong
clattering and jumping
across pavement cracks.

A final kick
and it crashes
into the bright red curb,
splitting in two
along some invisible fissure.

The jagged pieces
rock momentarily
on their rounded backs
like overturned turtles,
then lie still.
You withered my skin
Slowly and gently
By throwing countless stones
At me
Tenderly but frequently
To remind me
Endlessly
That I was always
an entirely
inadequate entity
But when I wilted
completely
And all of my energy
Perished utterly
And the stones that you
Never stopped hurling at me
Ceased to hurt
My immobile body
You did
What you intended to do
Since the beginning
You left
Leaving me curled
Into a ball of
Absolutely nothing
i thought
our love
was deep
enough
but
apparently,
the wounds
you
inflicted
were deeper.
that’s why im taking my time to heal now that your lashings are gone
I was fifteen,
Jersey boy, displaced
from green suburbia
to a sagebrush sea.

I tried to drop my accent,
got a job at a horse ranch
shoveling ****,
wore cowboy boots.

Finally made a friend
in that dirt road valley,
taught me to sideways slide
and countersteer,
joyriding his mother's car
down rough roads
we shouldn’t be on,
sparks flying,
rocks bouncing
off the undercarriage.

And he had guns too,
pistols and rifles.
We hiked up into the hills,
shot at rusty
abandoned cars,
empty beer cans
or anything
that crawled
slithered or hopped.

Killing that jackrabbit
was a lucky shot.
I got him right through the eye
with a 22, on the fly,
just for fun.

We laughed
and high fived
as that black crater
in his head
did not stare at us
from the dusty ground.

I was in.
Be the lighthouse
That would gently illuminate
The ever-expanding wilderness
Beneath my soft seas
Be the breath
Of a rarefied wind
That would blithely stir
This supine silence
With a mellifluent melody
Be the glorious beams
Of an enthralling
Aureate moon
That would caress and adorn
My weeping shores
With delicate shades
And delightful nuances
Be that dream
That I've forgotten
To blissfully dream
I went down to the river,
I set down on the bank.
I tried to think but couldn't,
So I jumped in and sank.

I came up once and hollered!
I came up twice and cried!
If that water hadn't a-been so cold
I might've sunk and died.

     But it was      Cold in that water!      It was cold!

I took the elevator
Sixteen floors above the ground.
I thought about my baby
And thought I would jump down.

I stood there and I hollered!
I stood there and I cried!
If it hadn't a-been so high
I might've jumped and died.

     But it was      High up there!      It was high!

So since I'm still here livin',
I guess I will live on.
I could've died for love--
But for livin' I was born

Though you may hear me holler,
And you may see me cry--
I'll be dogged, sweet baby,
If you gonna see me die.

     Life is fine!      Fine as wine!      Life is fine!
Anything can
look like a poem
and sound philosophical
simply by moving
the words on
different lines.

Am I doing it right?
Is this
really
talent?
Art?
Effort?

I think I am trying.
Really, I am
I go back and change the order
and I break lines
where it sounds right
But it does not take me long.
Not at all.

I try to be
intentional
and call it natural rhythm.
Instinct and style taking over
I alternate between
agonizing every detail
like When to Capitalize
and publishing free form poems without looking over them twice.

How is writing supposed to feel?
Should I labor?
or should it flow?
Or do I get to decide?

I think the things I talk of
mean something
at least.

But am I just
pretentious?

fooling myself into thinking that
using common poetry formats
somehow makes my work worthwhile?
Problems only We True Artists face.
i wish
i could
stop
the hands of time,
thank him for a moment
as i shake his hand
knowing
that everything
that had happened
was according to schedule
and he won’t stop
ticking
as i
move
forward.
thank you
i
stopped
asking
how you were
when
i
started
asking
how i am
and to answer my own question, i’m okay.

— The End —