As I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to take
Ease my pain, for I am broken
Make still my thoughts
Toss out my dreams like the ash
Of a fire that died ages ago.

My will is gone
My strength is waning
I pray for sleep
But never waking.

It is the process by which we live
one that takes many names:
the daily grind
the paper chase;
but what is it all for?
The endless cycle of waking up
only to be letdown
by obligations tied to quantity
not quality.
Temporary sacrifices
become permanent compromises
until one day
we wake up
and ask ourselves
"What the hell am I doing with my life?"

I awake in a cold sweat
The graceful visage of my muse
Slowly fading from my conscience
Like a fond memory
Nestled within the sands of time.
My pulse quickens
Heart beating in my chest
Pounding away like a ferocious thunderclap.
Fear overtakes me
But my muse has not left my side
And I wonder with glee
if "life is but a dream?"

Last night I went for a drive
Under the watchful eye of a glowing moon
I knew not where I was going
Only where I hoped I'd end up

There was a silent calm as I drove,
Myself and life's displaced passengers
As we all sought what we were looking for

Without notice
I became the last passenger
And for no fault but my own
I'm still driving

There's a deep-seated pain that wont go away
Desire is the bookend that keeps it at bay
But in this hour I'm losing this fight
All of the longing keeps me up through the night
Longing for solace, longing for passion
Longing for a muse to give me direction
Just a lonely soul, starved for human connection
Each day creeps along as I search for a reason
To go on

Every night I dream of death
Visions transfixed by burning flesh
All those I hold dear
In moments rich of sadness and full of fear
Silently perish upon the dark canvass of my eyelids

Every day I see Death's shadow
I feel his presence deep in my marrow
He means no threat upon me
Just serves as a reminder of my mortality
So every night after my dreams of death
When I awake with a pounding heart in my chest
I go to take a deep breath
And relish the fact that its not my night to die

I toss and I turn
Thinking of everything
And nothing at all

Nurse?
   Yes?
Would you be so kind to give a old man an audience for a moment?
   Ok.
In the winter of my life, I went home.
   Where would that be?
Pittsburgh, it was a cold place.
   Well you did say it was winter
No child, that was a metaphor.
   Oh.
It was cold, and unfamiliar to me.
   How so?
Well, all the time I spent there throughout my long life, the old was respected.
    What do you mean?
The buildings were old, but beautiful and they were preserved to tell their story, as were the people.
     So what changed?
When I went home, everything was new. The old beautiful buildings were gone.
    Gone?
Gone. They were replaced with plain buildings that bore no story. The people were younger then too.
   Is that a bad thing?
No, not bad. Sad.
   Why is it sad?
I didn’t recognize my home.
   But surely one’s home is always recognizable.
Not for me, not anymore. It was alien to me. The beauty of my home had been removed.
   I like the city.
You do?
  Yes.
How old are you?
  21. How old are you?
91.
  Oh.
Thank you Nurse, for giving an old man an audience.
  Are you going to sleep now sir?

  *Sir?

Its Late
or early
there’s no difference anymore.
Sleep is a ghost that taunts,
a memory that haunts,
and a feeling that I can't quite remember.
I move towards it,
never getting closer
always the same distance away.
I want it,
badly,
my eyes
are heavy,
but still
its too far out of reach.
I can't ignore this.
I can't rest.
Too many thoughts,
too many feelings,
rocking me at my core.
All I want to do
is lay down,
close my eyes,
and drift off
into a deep
sleep.
Where all my problems
and worries,
cease to exist,
if only for a few hours.

We said our goodbyes
Under a full moon glowing in the sky
with every tear we shared
Our two hearts grew lonely, no longer ensnared
You looked at me with a tear stained face
my heartbreak devoured my soul with haste

It all seems but a lifetime ago
The seed of closure will never grow
And though my days are now numbered
I spend my nights gazing, not in a slumber,
Up at the moon, my glowing compass
Waiting to be guided back to you,
In this lifetime or the next that is nigh

forlorn nights in cold, dark homes
dying embers of a life once known
pools of thought cloud the mind
time is meaningless;
we all will die

there's no light
save for the stars,
glowing escorts to the beyond
always gazing
always bright
waiting to be wished upon every night

countless people across the world
watch the stars and wait to behold
a greater truth;
a pure beauty,
a solemn confirmation
that someone,
somewhere,
is looking up at the same stars,
taking in the same wonders
posing the same questions


feeling the same *loneliness