A million times a day
I sit on the bridge, over the bay
asking what if life is just some sick game?
then I hear a voice saying
"Why don't you stop playing?"

No matter how much I clean
I can't escape this filth
this dirt, this blackness...

this sin that is me
I swam a million miles
and even tried to cross the red sea,
it washed away my hope
of who I could be...

I crawl out my skin
to have it only grow back
darker, stronger, more black
more sin...

it chokes my soul
when it returns,
"Where have you been?"
I lie, telling it "No where,
I could never leave you my friend."

the old ladies told me
I can't rush love
just sit and wait
little do they know,
my love has a expiration date.

the more I wait, the more
my heart grows overweight
with bitterness and hate
for God's sake!

I won't be young and pretty forever
the time is now!
--------or never
stupid cupid
thinking he's so freaking clever.

I've tried
tried, tried
and now
I'm tired.

my heart
is under attack
because no one
seems to love me back.

now I'm left with this
this youthful body
and this pretty sad face
in this empty place.

guess I'm left
to love myself
***** anyone else.

tear down my wall
boldly stand tall
give me confidence
because I feel so small.

tie back my hands
and gag my mouth
no screams, no shouts
tell me the things you think about.

build up my heart
break down my will
beat me until I'm still,
show me how love feels.

I have not been good at love
or showing emotion
but, I would like to swim with the tears
of your sweet deep ocean.

please do brag
I enjoy boasting
my *** is like a breeze
that will leave  you coasting.

I feel your heat
body roasting
cheers to us;
bodies toasting!

let me clear my throat
you find the lotion
watch me stretch it out
in a familiar motion.

wet dreams are made of you;
a beautiful lie
an imagination
that I wish to make true.