When someone asks me, "how are you?"
I think, I'm broken
But still alive,
Even if I don't want to be.
And my heart is gone
Locked away in a steel case
And my mind is far away
Kept complacent by the drug haze
And my body hurts
From the bruises she leaves
And the cuts I inflict
I think all this,
But I just smile and say,
"I'm fine, and how are you?"

My life will probably be a lot easier,
When everyone realizes
That there is nothing they can do
To make me want to change,
That I haven't already tried.

I just want to sleep
One full night of rest
Maybe just one more pill...
Maybe just a couple more...

But the nightmares still come
And they still wake me up
Maybe just a few more...
Maybe then I'll be able to rest

I wake up in the morning
Still tired as could be
So I'll have some caffeine
That will keep me awake

And then throughout the day
I drink more and more
Still groggy still tired
But conscious at least...

I take stuff to help me sleep
And then some more to keep me up
And some throughout the day to help me eat
Not to mention the ones actually prescribed

For depression
Multiple personality disorder
Attention deficit disorder
They all have more pills I'm supposed to take

And I can't help but remember
I used to just self medicate
And my grades were good I was a healthy active kid
And I didn't take hardly anything at all

But now there's all this stuff
My doctors like to give
They don't listen when I say
This stuff is killing me

~


Floating... in the dream state of a conscious mind,
picturing hibiscus ribbons in sweet chocolate hair,
happily smiling along mockingbird whispers, melodically
heard deep within our hearts…we imagine

Our gondola, of painted daisies and wildflower song
drifting silently upon uncharted thoughts and desires
Capturing a sunbeam glowing from your smile
I hold it close…softly to my chest

Warmth filters beyond any worries, comforting fears
Resting my hand in yours, gazing into your eyes
as illumined affection ignites a passion
reflecting azure skies, still unprepared for your beauty

Sadness which once danced in our paths,
raining tears on wilted cheeks has led us to an intersection,
a new avenue to travel, closer to any wish
of four leafed clover descent resting in our pockets

And I feel safe, for these arms of satin wonder
drape my soul with a gentleness I have not before known,
born of friendship and deep admiration...we imagine
and we realize our imagination is not this…for this is real

Swirls of white
Within my tea

The warming drink
Does comfort me

Around my mind creeping
Demons while I'm sleeping

Awake yet again
Though I'd rather not be

But closing my eyes
Brings the demons to me

Daylight , my reprieve
But alas it is fleeting

Once darkness falls
The demons start creeping

Cup of tea anyone?