I am not stupid
Little do some people know
Just because I act

we all do it at some point
our skies darken
our face fall
our sunsets end
we become adults
our parents become equals
our stress levels rise
our blues become grays
we lose what we once had

the weather turns chilly
and the leaves turn brown
and the trees are dying
yet we find beauty in death
'do not try to make sadness beautiful'
they say while they watch things die
perhaps there is a beauty in sadness
or in death

Matted hair and a stuffy nose
Silence and all the lights bright
You and him
All the things that happen at midnight
My stupid hair
My stupid tears
My stupid lights
My stupidity

You think you're a piece of grass
A grain of sand on a beach
Maybe you are
But to me you aren't
You are as beautiful as the stars
All of space admires you
You are the rising sun
We orbit around you
You are the whole **** ocean
And the whole ******* sky
With your stupid cute dimples
Eyes that change color
Red hair that isn't really red
You are my sky and my stars
Don't you ever forget it

She was the most amazing girl
We understood eachother
But I never got to hold her hand
I never got to kiss her forehead
I never got to tell her I love her
She's dead now, I killed her
I don't know how, or why
It's always my fault though
And so she's gone
DEADDEADDEAD
She used to be the only thing
That made me smile
Until I got that text
And then, I never heard from her
Where did she go?
Is she in the Heavens?
With a god I don't believe in
Looking down at someone else
And not knowing how guilty
I am for killing her

I tasted ***** for the first time
Hidden in the back of the freezer
At first, it was sour
But the more I drank
The better it tasted
And my problems seemed to melt
I liked that feeling
So I drank more and more
Until things blurred together
And my problems were
Forgotten

If you only knew
How often you cross my mind
And why I reply so quickly
To your text messages
If you only knew
That you're the reason I cry
At 2:00 am when no one is watching
And how I write so many poems about you

Remember that day
When we picked dandelions
And my wish was you

But see, I love you
While you love somebody else
Why do I still try?

Am I even alive?
I cannot cry
I cannot breathe
When I was little I danced
And I sang and I laughed
And I didn't look at boys
Because they had cooties
But now I cannot move
And I cannot speak
And I can't look at anybody
Am I even alive?