u used to like the way i listen u liked it more when i'd speak
i'd fall asleep to ur voice and find heaven in ur heartbeats
missing u hurts my core, makes me think feel and cry
tell me if my hands didn't still shake when i see u would u allow urs in mine

An apology without change,
is just manipulation.

I love you, but I can wait till your rule over my life ends.

I rather get a text from you,
saying "I miss you"
then a text confessing
"I love you."
from anyone else.

I don't want to heal,
if it means losing the last thing I have left of you.

You remind me of glass,
your laugh a clear clink of shimmering crystal,
your heart filled with scraping shards.
Thank you for reminding me,
that people too can break,
and mirrors can hold memories.

While I was trying to sleep last night
I realized something.
I am not worthy of his goodness.
I know he doesn’t know the darkest sides of me
the side I pushed down and hide
The monster within, my devil on the shoulder

Demons who are evil
has done more good than me
I am broken and damaged
My heart is broken in two
A better representative it's shattered

I do like you a lot in fact
I am falling in love with you
And I know I’m ugly, possessive, and stupid
I’m also selfish and rude.

I Know that I ruin everything I  touch
But I can’t help but touch him
The force, a gravitational pull
Pulling at my heart
And yet I know the outcome

I’ll end up chipping a piece of my heart
Only to have it fall into the dark and evil obsess
Known as my soul. And never be returned
As for where you searched my soul willingly
To find and embrace who I am
Broken and damaged.

I know that red tulips are
Representations of undying love. But what if
It’s not the love that dies but me?
Would he care? Or even be grazed by it?
Would it hurt him as much as it would hurt me?

As if he could stay for long
Once he sees the broken and shattered soul I bare he’ll run
And hide never to be found again.
So I don’t know what I’d be doing
Without him by my side would I be here
Would I choose to live on?

Would he want that
After I ruin his life, unwillingly
I never knew what it was like to do this but
I can’t say I’m surprised by it
He acts as if he cares for my well being.
But what if my well being isn’t well?
Would I choose to bother him about it?
Would I be that burden he has to carry

I always hear how
I’m not alone
But when it’s 4 am
And my eyes burn
With tear-stained cheeks
And there’s nobody there
To hear my muffled cries
I think to myself  . . .
Where is he at,
what happened to not being alone?

I try to smile,
When I see you
Really I do!
But when you notice
me looking,
You look away, without
A smile on your face.
That smile is
A way of showing
Others your emotions.
But your face,
Is not showing
Evidence of a real
Smile.
This pounds at my heart
Like a crazed mother
Lock up, in a box.
Looking for her missing child.
She pounds on the fiberglass
Begging to be set free
If for nothing but her
Child.
But she doesn’t get set free
The box only gets tighter.
It’s as if it was a rubber band
Around your finger.
You feel the throbbing,
Your blood is howling
at you to set it free
But you don’t
not because you won’t
But because you can’t.
So your face remains emotionless
The face that has such an angelic appearance
That it resembles something unworldly.
Just like lucifer your lips, they
Pumulied into the darkness
But with that fall
Your smile fell too.
To nothing
It’s almost unrecognizable,
Because it’s not the
You I know and love

I didn’t fall in love with you
I walked into love with you
With my eyes wide open
Choosing to take
Every step along the way
But I also believe
We are fated
To do things
But we’d choose anyway
And I’d choose you;
In a hundred worlds
In any reality
I’d find you
And choose you.