and i wish i knew
how to love you
back

Dear you,
You're the person who has never let me down
You've always been there when I needed someone
You lent me your ear
You gave me advice
You wiped away my tears
Held me through all my cries
You've spent your time on me
You've spent your money
And how I repay you
Is by not doing so at all
Instead I betray you
And I put our trust on the line
Now it is gone
And the fault is all mine
You deserve so much better
Than what I have to offer
I'm in a horrible place
And while that is no excuse
For what I have done
You still deserve someone to be there
And reciprocate what you do
You're the one person I love the most
And the one person I hurt tragically
By losing you, I lose myself
But I deserve this
You belong with someone else
I'll always love you
And be plagued with pain and guilt
You'll always be important to me
But now I think I should set you free
Because I hurt you so tremendously
It may be selfish
But I can't live with myself
I love you
I already miss you
One day your true love
Your beautiful princess
Will be there for you
I'm sorry
But it isn't me

YAAAAAASSSSSS

I've said it maybe a million times
that "things will be okay"
and yes, my love,
they will be okay for you
but it is I who is so uncertain
of this life and what I make of it
I know I've been acting off
I get so emotional anymore
everything is making me crumble
I fear soon I shall be nothing but those crumbs
and what happens to crumbs?
they are swept away
on an amazing journey
airborne in their container
false hope making them believe that they have won
they are rising, getting where they need to be
and, I guess, in a way they are getting there
to that wonderful trashcan
and I bet at first that seems great
so many people are around them,
i bet they even act like them
this is shattered by reality though
even a small dose, lover, is toxic
they too soon realize that they are losers
everyone around them, like them,
everyone breathing the the same
grimy as they are, is just a loser
and maybe thats not the worst
i think the worst would be knowing
knowing that there is no way out
other then to be thrown out again
joining many other crumbs on a final journey
to being incinerated, crushed, and maybe
even put in the ground to rot
and, lover, I think I got off track
maybe, but not really
What I'm trying to say is that
Do not let yourself become crumbs
Do not rot away from the beauty of life
Do not follow in my footsteps
Do not become me.

Do you even know alone?
You're always surrounded and loved
Don't you dare talk to me in that condescending tone
Into the light you're shoved
Again and again, by your own hand
Do you like the attention
It's the truth I demand
But it's not something that to my face you will mention
I've given you my heart
and all you've done was broken it apart

as im naked and lying in bed with you, I allow the reveal of my most exposed parts. not those of my body but those of my heart.

i cling on to your arm and rest my head on your shoulder and this routines not something i had wanted to discover.

its easier to have suitors who do what they need, to get up after selfish  pleasures are pleased. give me fake promises and acceptingly leave. this routine had me feeling empty it seemed.

i accepted that repeated routine and didn’t realize it turned once beautiful hopeless romanticism into a myth for me.

that idea of this was one i thought was irreversibly now sincere . but this time for once i want you to stay over my dear.

those big green eyes that dont look hazed or glassy, have caused me to want and need you for real. you held me and kissed my neck and our bodies tangle tight.
i don’t feel as though this bodies all you needed that night.

i felt pleasure I swore off and didn’t think could exist again.
pleasures pulsing in my body but also mentally in my head.

i am reluctant to passion or emotional acts of this kind.
but **** baby that night I knew I wanted you to be mine.

and as hard as that is for my own mind to understand,
i want you to know that I can contribute to future plans.
that i wont hurt you or deceive you and support and my comfort for you whenever you need my helping hand.

you made me feel like I had someone safe and I wanted to keep the feeling around for always. Please just say my name so heavenly sweet and softly…

but although this feeling has hurt others in turn, I want my own heart to  
finally be able to have what it deserves. and to you I know Id be sincere, sweet and kind.
to your untrusting attitude and damaged heart similar to mine.

and it seemed at first that jaded attitudes are all we had in common. Until you opened up to me and I emotionally let you in.
because for once I wasn’t thinking this wasn’t going to be anything real in the end.

And I unexpectedly loved that sweet feeling of our pressed bodies sharing skin.

when you told me you wanted to be good enough to have me,
Iv have burning desires every time your around me.
I dream of you taking me fast and pushing hard against walls,
And when desire overtakes on the ground we should fall.

Where ill let you take that one part of me I didn’t know I had.
And I know your sweet passion will give up to me back.

Hard and heavy breathing as your green eyes catch mine.
Holding bodies and remaining still as we let final pleasures overtake us and our bodies bind.

And as hot and heavy heat simmers down and subsides, I lie on your chest and feel  my most comfortable inside.

Your arms protectively wrap around me and we temporarily rest.
But this routine of intense amazement will start again fast, because our hearts are finally accepting what we both deserve at best.  

Emily A Grande

Lets go to the beach, where we can
    play in the sand
    splash in the waves
    run hand in hand
    eat things we crave

Lets go down town to
    check out the shops
    buy new clothes
    see boys that are hot
    mess with hobos

Lets run away and just
    always be the same
    rely on each other
    dance in the rain
    go undercover

Millions are made
off the misery of others
& there is no cure in sight.
The system just reloads,
rakes in the hard earned dollars
of real people
who they say
have no rights.
And who are they,
but the high & mighty
magistrates,
sitting high in the pulpit,
hitting happy hour
before they drive back home
after a hard day's work
playing hypocrite.