My last cigarette
Doesn't have the same affect as the first one.
The nicotine doesn't take the pain away anymore,
Doesn't fix that emptiness in my chest.
That's still there.
Just filled with smoke for only an instant.
Oh well.
At least the red glow adds a little colour to my life
When everything else around me
Is dull,
Boring,
Uninteresting,
Lifeless.

There used to be another colour besides the red of the embers:
Green,
In the Iris of her eyes.
Waking up to them in our own little place in a broken city,
To them staring at me
With a slight glistening
And a pretty, grey smile
That made the rising sun seem irrelevant.
It was a beautiful sight,
One a Polaroid couldn't quite capture ,
Or paintings quite express.
How could something so wonderful exist in a world so colourless?
I wish I knew,
But I'd never know,
And I'd never be ready to lose it.
Even after you left.

Nothing has given me quite the same feeling
Of happiness and curiosity,
Because no matter how hard I look
In any direction,
I see the same shades of nothing everyday,
And walk through these streets full of people, full of activity,
But it feels so dead.
I'm so tired of it.
I miss the green that lit up the world in the most miraculous of ways, that made it prettier.
It's a stunning sight.
And I'm still in a daze countless packs later.

I used to think it would always stay that way, us together,
Taking on the blackness of reality.
I should've known better.
I was a fool.
I'm sorry.
Now you're gone,
And cigarettes can't replace you.

Since then,
and every night on,
I light a cigarette,
My new lover,
And count all the ash I've let fall.
I've lost count ages ago.

But I'll light another one, anyway.
So here's to you, sweetheart.
Here's to our memory,
Our lost possibilities,
and those pretty emerald eyes of yours.

~

Hello there
Miss Stranger
I'd like to know your name
Of course, this might seem rather strange
I'm afraid all we've had were passing smiles
And slight conversation
Friendly waves
and sideways glances-
from two seats away
Please forgive me for staring
You just caught my interest
A shy girl taking classes out of her league
And passing them as if it was simple elementary
I just had to know more
So I waved for the first time
And you waved in return
And thus, we were acquaintances

Hi there
Miss Stranger
All across the way
I enjoy the smiles we pass everyday
In class
The hallway rush
I wonder why I enjoy it so much
We've rarely spoken small talk
Much less what we believe in
So why does a smile from you give me such a happy feeling?
This isn't love
I've made that mistake before
Maybe you seem nice and I wish to know more
Oh dear, this may seem a bit much
I assure you I'm not after affection or lust
Just a smile
And your name
If it's all the same.

Hey there
Miss Stranger
Wasn't it such a lovely day?
It was the day
I finally got the nerve to say
That I'd like to be friends with you
After days of finding the words
and the courage
I finally approached
Defying every insecurity and doubt
For talking to strangers can be rather difficult
And even if you said no
I would be proud of myself for trying
To my pleasant surprise
You were delighted to!
It's always exciting to gain a new friend
For adventures and memories beckon as soon as they are created
It was a pity it was such short lived
For not even days after
We returned to our routine
Of smiles and waves
On an endless repeat
How did this happen?
Was it something I said?
Without warning
We slowly faded back
Into the strange stage of strangers
I guess I shouldn't complain
Could've been a lot worse
Though every possibility our "friendship" had
Faded away right along with your desire to know me
So it seemed

Oh, well
I suppose I should've seen it coming

Take care
Miss Stranger
And thank you anyway
I'll always be here to smile
When we pass everyday