There are different ways to live

And different ways to die

But between them both

You will feel **alive

Red lights know nothing of the lines below
When it rains again
Maybe they will touch them
Your reflection is beautiful too

If my voice was as loud as my heart would you hear it?

If life was a valley
Where would you walk

In the stark sunlight
As it beat down upon you
In all the glory of the day
As it kisses your face
With the warmth of its rays

Or would you walk beside me
In the coolness of the trees
I see no light, only darkness
And the shadows that wreath me
They tell me their secrets in confidence
For they know my name in turn
Me eyes have long forgotten
All the radiance of the sunlight
I cannot know that which I fear

And so my journey is this
One that I walk beneath the moon

For someone who could of passed as Christ
I've never seen anyone act less like God

You only loved me when the tide was out.

The committee in my head is trying to convince me that I can wash away my troubles like a bug on the windshield

I pull away
Like the sand from the shore
Only to throw myself against you again
The moon is full
She lights my way
I rush to you
And break upon your arms

So maybe there is this
And I still see that I am nothing
But a vessel
And as such I am -infinitely nothing
So fill me up

We are not all bulletproof in our intentions.

I have become less of late
And my words have become such

The night will come for you
This is the way the sun will steal you
When the darkness grows tired
She will awaken the sky
With a wanderers match
And an Angel's smile

Remember when we were a young girl
Swimming in rivers of indifference
The cotton sky is gone now
Will we ever find our way
Back to the youth of sunflower fields

If you took all the books in the world
And stacked them up in a tower
It would still, be shorter than my desperation
I am a weakened flower

I search all the pages for answers
And I cannot find your face
I would tear the world apart
To put you in your rightful place

Next to me, inside my heart
To dance in my veins
Draw on the walls of your prison
And drown out all the names

Desperate times call for desperate measures
I ladled in to much worry and doubt
And my hopes would rise
I loaf around in search of a way out

Time is of the urgency
This clock ticks to fast, to slow
I crawl inside my mind
For it is the only place I know

I have no friends hidden in there
Yet am not completely alone
I can speak my own mind
Without worry to condone

Thoughts of mine drift past
As sharp as shards of glass
I think to grab them
But they cut their way past

A ****** hand sometimes
A ****** heart always
Hooks are not the answer
To put a fire in full blazes

My grasp, you so easily evade
Do I really seek to catch you
So desperate in my own ways
But you always seem to slip through

Strong am I? Never strong enough
Of all the lovers in the world
I have the worst of all the luck
To be drawn to you, with fingers unfurled

You dance to fast
And I sing much to slow
But you pull me tight
And I cannot let go

I search for you and find
To see your beautiful face
In the mirror next to mine
That is the best place

A morning good
A night less than bad
If this moment was
The best we ever had

It would be enough
It would have to suffice
Or be thrown to the wind
And scattered like rice

The wind can have it
My heart deserves better
I give it your worlds
Ever heartfelt letter

Desperate I am
And a child I was
But a girl knows better
Than to dance with love

My heart is bargaining
With the gods for you
They raise the wage
It is no matter
I will pay the price

The price you have to pay
When you are the hero who saves the day
Ride into the sunset but you ride alone
Cast out, falling heavy like a stone

You bear the weight of the world on your shoulders
Heavy pains n heavy boulders
Born through time
Walking the straight line

Here I am
Standing on the edge
This thought
Binds my feet to the ledge

If I jump
The pain won’t fall with me
And, somehow the heaviest
Weight on my shoulders
Is weightless

I know
If I took that step
It’s not right
To leave you what’s left

I can’t burden you with it
There’s no where
In your soft body
To hold my hurt
I can’t burden you with it
There’s no where
In your soft body
To hold my hurt

The space you made to love me
I could never let my pain
Take its place
So when I think of fast falling
When the edge is calling
I see your face

I know you’d go with me
On the way down, down
Told me once
I’d never feel alone, alone
But, I know at the bottom
We’d go our separate ways, way
Because heaven is for angels
And those who know how to pray, pray

I stop to think
Sway a little in the wind
Kick some gravel from the edge
My ancestors are dust
My hopes are ashes
I think of you
Of the flowers we picked
In the summer fields
Every memory of you
Fills the honeycombs of my mind
With sweet, sweet syrup

I can’t burden you with it
There’s no where
In your soft body
To hold my hurt
I can’t burden you with it
There’s no where
In your soft body
To hold my hurt

And I turn away from the edge
Light as pollen in the wind
Weightless
Weightless

Stop settling for what is better
   And shoot for what is **best

Red flags are the asterisk next to your name, footnotes I am to careless to read.

I'm not mad at you
I am just sad at you

Why did you settle?
For your sake you could do better.
She hates me now.
And she doesn't even know.
Half of your story.
Let alone 5% of mine.

She doesn't deserve you.
You could have anyone you want.
In the whole world.
I know I want you back.
I know you would of left.
If you could of chosen.

Chosen to stay with me.

I.
Cling.
To.
That.

Hope.

I will always love you.

But.

Right now.

I question why.
You are with her.
I hear.
I heard the rumors.
That you kissed.
She said it was awful.
You are always cold around her.
Inside and out.

But.

Baby.

With me.

You were fire to my ice.

When I kissed you.
Your eyes melted to gold.
And the heat between our tongues.
Was electric.

Yes it hurt to see you.
Together.
But I would be happier.
To see you.
With more.
Better.

Not less.
You went from me to her.
Ten to a two.
You don't need a trophy wife.
But baby I want you to have.
The best in this life.
Even if,

That isn't me.

And so I offer you,
My humble
Opinionated
Sacrificial
Words

I'm sorry

<3

I'm trying!
Okay?!
I'm trying,
But I guess
It just
Isn't working
I will never
Be good enough
So I'll just go now
Have a nice life
Xoxo

Underneath the skies
Underneath the stars

*A eternity lies buried

I am not mad
I am furious
I tried to be nice and patient
I thought maybe it would all work out in the end

But it didn't
I boiled over
I burned everyone around me
Like a hurricane I came ravaging the land

Just like you ravaged me
Why didn't it stop sooner
Before I erupted

Exploding creating small fires
All over the world
Just like the time before
And the time before that

A scar opened over and over again

you were right
paper is flammable
you were right
you set me on fire
you were wrong
because you said it would last
you were wrong
because it is all gone

Blue is the color of the happy sky
Black is the night as it slowly passes bye
Yellow are the smiles that push up from the ground
Brown are the memories that chase me like a hound
Purple are the sunsets filled with lies
Green are the beauty in your eyes
Pink is ignorance I proudly displayed
Gray is the face of the sky today
Orange is the footprints you leave in your wake
Red is the blood from my wrists you take

My home
Place of birth
Such a lowly
Humble berth

Is this where
The love lies
Or this is where
The love dies

A simple place
With welcome face
Memories up to the roof
The pictures holding proof

They frame walls
Hands and feet
So many faces
Gathered here

Looking through
Walls of glass
Does this joy
Really last

We bloom every spring
But the winter is still hard

So close to my heart
But just out of reach
A fingertips away
A wall I cant breach
This door that opens
Only from the inside
Open it now
Spread the gates wide

I wanted to breathe with my heart, whispering...

I hope you find your happiness
I hope to God you make your healing
If love was tangible
It would be a blanket to keep you warm on the nights so cold and soulless
It would be the way home on the night of the weakest moon
It would be my hand winding through yours like a vine

A dreamer kisses a canves, because even if there is no beauty to be seen in something, it can be made
A vessel, no less, no greater than the intentions
Just as the hands who work it are folded in prayer

I wanted to breathe with my heart
Wanted to kiss with my hands
I'm learning to love though
As only a fool can

Bare naked to me the discomforts of your soul
And I will teach you, intimacy

You idiot
You thought I love you
You stupid boy
You thought I cared
Why would I love you
There is nothing there to love

Just leave me alone
Cant you see I am trying to ignore you
Stop getting in my you
You fool
How could I care about a nobody
Why would I care about you

Oh please give me a break
Get out of my face
For goodness sake
Please just move you are in my way

Stupid child
Just use your brain
Silly boy
Just think about it for a moment

Why would I care about you
Do you really think my world could revolve around you
Well to be honest it does my dear
And I will always be here have no fear
<3

Nothing last forever in a world so broken

A clenched fist
Leaves no room for dreams

I will lift my eyes again to the sky
Hoping for a glimpse of the heavens
On that they would pour open
Washing the earth still toiling in sin
As these nightmares creep into my head
The visions of the night that will not be silenced
Oh these cold dark hands around my neck
They whisper in my ear the secrets of the dead
They know the secrets of the living and those lost in the inbetween
It is a voice of a stranger that begs familiarity
Oh that I was deaf, oh that I was blind
Silence has been my friend when comfort could not be found
Yet I am shackled to those who have gone be for
I will not go out until the tide is high
and the moon is full
I am lost within myself as each new star takes its place in the heavens

You don't have to!
I know you want to
I know you try
But listen outside of your head
Cuz what is in there
Is a lie.

You are worth it
You are loved you
My ray of sunshine
From God above

Put it down
Let me hold you
You aren't a slave
No one sold you

You are your own master
It doesn't have to be faster

Whatever you want
Just please not this
Let nothing touch your skin
Unless its a kiss

You are blessed
With a beautiful smile
So put it down
Just wait a while

No one is like you
Nobody comes close
It doesn't matter
You don't need a perfect nose

You matter
So much in my heart
I will walk this journey, beside you
From the start

It's okay.
I know.
It hurts.
A lot.
But, my beautiful friend, that is all the more reason to stop.
You have self-control
Don't let a stupid piece of metal or flame
Take this toll

You don't have to pay
You owe no debts
So just wait a minute
Don't hurt yourself yet

Breathe in the air
It wont be your last
Let your lungs
Erase the past

Smile a little
At the corners of your lips
Feel the love
Like a gentle kiss

Atleast one person
Doesn't want you to cry
They want you happy
Your eyes to be dry

And if you cant think
Of a single soul
Who doesn't want you broken
But needs you whole

Let me be
Your sweetest memory
Your north star
"It's enough for me."

I'm a stranger
But I am your friend
And I will walk with you
Until the end

I know your heart
I can guess your story
How you were destroyed
And lost all your glory

But even you
Can shine again
I'll take your hand
Just tell me when

Just because you spelt a word wrong
Or maybe said the wrong thing
Maybe someone left, and they wont come back
Be happy for what you have, not what you lack

You never know
How things will change
I just know
They wont be the same

So just a minute
Or maybe an hour
Before tomorrow
And it stings in the shower

You arms are your wings
I want you to fly
You can live and dream
Don't chose to die <3

Xoxo

Those emerald green eyes
Lying in wait for me
Behind those dark shades

Those hands folded carefully
Reaching out to me
From your heart

I can't move, I am pierced by your gaze
I long for your touch, but try to run away

People sometimes say,
You don't have to sleep alone
But I didn't know
My nights were yours to own

You tried to take
Things that can only be given
Forced me to believe
That dying was truly living

Didn't want blankets
To get in your way
So you took my heart
And threw it away

So many parts
Taken without privilege
Left with scars
And night to re-live

You spilled your lies
Inside of my weakened soul
And said "It's okay"
"It will make you feel whole"

So as my emptiness
Spilled out on the sheets
I knew my life
Had took different streets

So many twists
Like curves on my body
I tried to be good
But you wanted naughty

I beat myself up
For the scars you inflicted
I gave you a bucket
I wish you had kicked it

So dark was the night
Brighter than your intention
But the light came again
Something you forgot to mention

I should have run
At the first "I Love You"
It was a bad lie
But what could I do?

Three weeks in
And I wanted to die
After one night
I should have said goodbye

Instead of kissing
The scars on my frame
You made them anew
And wrought me in pain

I wanted to get over
But you wanted to come in
And so I died
On the outside and within

The illusion of glass
To walk right through
But I could see
The evil in you

Trapped in the sheets
You tangled my soul
You strangled my heart
And now I don't know

What it is
To breathe fresh air
Because this gas
Tastes like your share

You cavorted inside
To never break me out
I knew you were
Bad, never a doubt