I am caught in a between a rock and a hard place
Between my insecurity and my heart

The night will come for you
This is the way the sun will steal you
When the darkness grows tired
She will awaken the sky
With a wanderers match
And an Angel's smile

I have become less of late
And my words have become such

If I could articulate as well as I think
If I could speak as much as I care
I think you would truly understand me
But if you just tired to love me
I wouldn't have to work so hard to heard

Am I truly this gentle
To let all things pass
I will not lean my will against yours
Will not turn my face from your sun
Yet the shadows pass across my skin
Perhaps I should have remained silent
Inquisition my great folly
Will this change us like seasons
Again and again I have returned
There is no change in the weather
No straight and narrow to wander
Philosophies spew from my finger tips
I touched you once
I fear it will not be the same
Have we changed so quickly
Here in this moment
Not yet bereft of the last
Lingering like your touch on my skin
I am not held to this
Not truly released
Not halfway vacant
Not completely full
Time will quench me
As we once did thirst together
In the dessert
Must 40 years pass
Before you dare lick milk and honey
From my fingers
Let the taste settle in the corners of your mouth
On the back of your tongue
I told you I was human
I told you I was a liar
But not a fool
All is well
There is no anger here
No pain
No paper fingers withdrawing into their sheaths
I will face you still
There is no shame here
Unless you bring it
Were you always this quiet
Bait my breathe
I will swallow your words hook, line, sinker
It is food for my soul
Draw me to you
I am the soft lines on black paper
Nothing but shadows
Am I tangible to you
Or do we pass through each others ghosts
What was
Is no more
We are slipping
Traction is temporary
We were falling
Nothing is certain
Only the end

I am not mad
I am furious
I tried to be nice and patient
I thought maybe it would all work out in the end

But it didn't
I boiled over
I burned everyone around me
Like a hurricane I came ravaging the land

Just like you ravaged me
Why didn't it stop sooner
Before I erupted

Exploding creating small fires
All over the world
Just like the time before
And the time before that

A scar opened over and over again

The price you have to pay
When you are the hero who saves the day
Ride into the sunset but you ride alone
Cast out, falling heavy like a stone

You bear the weight of the world on your shoulders
Heavy pains n heavy boulders
Born through time
Walking the straight line

I let loose
A stampede
Of blood horses
They raced down my arm
To be the first down the drain
To be the first one to run away from me
At the first sight of pain.

Stop settling for what is better
   And shoot for what is **best

Blue is the color of the happy sky
Black is the night as it slowly passes bye
Yellow are the smiles that push up from the ground
Brown are the memories that chase me like a hound
Purple are the sunsets filled with lies
Green are the beauty in your eyes
Pink is ignorance I proudly displayed
Gray is the face of the sky today
Orange is the footprints you leave in your wake
Red is the blood from my wrists you take

Why did you settle?
For your sake you could do better.
She hates me now.
And she doesn't even know.
Half of your story.
Let alone 5% of mine.

She doesn't deserve you.
You could have anyone you want.
In the whole world.
I know I want you back.
I know you would of left.
If you could of chosen.

Chosen to stay with me.

I.
Cling.
To.
That.

Hope.

I will always love you.

But.

Right now.

I question why.
You are with her.
I hear.
I heard the rumors.
That you kissed.
She said it was awful.
You are always cold around her.
Inside and out.

But.

Baby.

With me.

You were fire to my ice.

When I kissed you.
Your eyes melted to gold.
And the heat between our tongues.
Was electric.

Yes it hurt to see you.
Together.
But I would be happier.
To see you.
With more.
Better.

Not less.
You went from me to her.
Ten to a two.
You don't need a trophy wife.
But baby I want you to have.
The best in this life.
Even if,

That isn't me.

And so I offer you,
My humble
Opinionated
Sacrificial
Words

I'm sorry

<3

Do you know how many words
Have fluttered from my fingers
Or fallen from my lips
And dance along my throat
That I can't recall
They fall into eternity
And maybe imprint in your mind
But they do not stay in my head
Like an important moment in time

You
So loyal
To your pain
Will you not
Even dare
Lift your head
For the sun to come up

Those emerald green eyes
Lying in wait for me
Behind those dark shades

Those hands folded carefully
Reaching out to me
From your heart

I can't move, I am pierced by your gaze
I long for your touch, but try to run away

Walking on two legs
As if they were the stiffest sticks
To make a way to the stream
That I could lay myself
In the rushing waters
That it would wash my ashes away
These cinders of spite, I burned
The smoke fills me now
As my passion once did,
Like sap in these maple limbs of mine,
On into the night it goes
On into the night dies
Whispering to the stars
Of the anger of men
And how a clenched fist
Lights fires
That cannot always be put out
The water tastes the remorse
Damming these mortal wishes
As another night is dragged
Into the vision of the dead
To lay with those who cannot forget
The kiss of fire
As it learned to bite

Nothing last forever in a world so broken

My home
Place of birth
Such a lowly
Humble berth

Is this where
The love lies
Or this is where
The love dies

A simple place
With welcome face
Memories up to the roof
The pictures holding proof

They frame walls
Hands and feet
So many faces
Gathered here

Looking through
Walls of glass
Does this joy
Really last

you brought warmth
to the trembling of my unsteady hands
and the shake in my voice

you brought joy
to the cracks in my eyes
and the laugh in my throat

you brought light
to the shadows in my heart
and the abyss of scars in my skin

you brought hope
to the smiles hidden in the lines of my cheeks
and the treading of my feet

you brought love
to the air rushing through my lungs
and the words falling out of my mouth

I will lift my eyes again to the sky
Hoping for a glimpse of the heavens
On that they would pour open
Washing the earth still toiling in sin
As these nightmares creep into my head
The visions of the night that will not be silenced
Oh these cold dark hands around my neck
They whisper in my ear the secrets of the dead
They know the secrets of the living and those lost in the inbetween
It is a voice of a stranger that begs familiarity
Oh that I was deaf, oh that I was blind
Silence has been my friend when comfort could not be found
Yet I am shackled to those who have gone be for
I will not go out until the tide is high
and the moon is full
I am lost within myself as each new star takes its place in the heavens

So close to my heart
But just out of reach
A fingertips away
A wall I cant breach
This door that opens
Only from the inside
Open it now
Spread the gates wide

I'm trying!
Okay?!
I'm trying,
But I guess
It just
Isn't working
I will never
Be good enough
So I'll just go now
Have a nice life
Xoxo

Bad dreams will come again
These are my oldest friends
Reoccurring nightmares
Ancient truths, older dares
Between floor and pillow
I'm running on wet concrete
Let me sleep

Good light
Good night
Soft heart
Cold night
Sweet dreams
Losing teams
Lost mind
Go behind

You idiot
You thought I love you
You stupid boy
You thought I cared
Why would I love you
There is nothing there to love

Just leave me alone
Cant you see I am trying to ignore you
Stop getting in my you
You fool
How could I care about a nobody
Why would I care about you

Oh please give me a break
Get out of my face
For goodness sake
Please just move you are in my way

Stupid child
Just use your brain
Silly boy
Just think about it for a moment

Why would I care about you
Do you really think my world could revolve around you
Well to be honest it does my dear
And I will always be here have no fear
<3

you were right
paper is flammable
you were right
you set me on fire
you were wrong
because you said it would last
you were wrong
because it is all gone

Grief is my religion
And oh, how earnestly I worship

Bare naked to me the discomforts of your soul
And I will teach you, intimacy

Underneath the skies
Underneath the stars

*A eternity lies buried

A clenched fist
Leaves no room for dreams

Tell me
Please
You find something divine
In my familiarity
As I find peace
In yours

We write poems about losing
And then some about loss

We spew out all these words
And never counted the cost

We empty our hollow hearts
Into inked pages and on keys

But the soul we have begun forge
No one, in their right mind ever sees

We dance with pencils and lines to thin
But the bigger picture is unseen

So we must look and search to find
All the things that lay in between

A poet never forgets
The way it felt to feel

They may never remember
The time, date or the place

But they will know the colors
Of the falling leaves

The sound of your breath
In the fall wind

The dreams they lost upon
The desolate shore

They will always know
They could never want more

A poet will always remember
How it felt

To be in the perfect
Complete moment

They will never forget
Who was holding their heart

They will never know
What was going on around

For they saw to clearly
What was happening inside

They will never be able to lose sight
Of how your eyes turned to liquid gold

When they kissed your lips
The words that filled their head

And how every moment is a
Reflection of their love

A poet can never lose
The moments in that light

A poet will never chose a different
Melody than the beating of your heart

It will always be enough for them
To see into your soul

They may never cross an ocean
But they will survive rough waters

They may never learn to fly
But they know the clouds in the sky

They can kindle a fire from words
That have been burning in their hearts

And they will always remember
That they will never forget your heart

you painted on a straight line
like a blood red smile
and as short as it was
it felt like a mile

you filled in the lines
all over your skin
a reflection outside
of how it feels within

you drew all over
never missed a spot
and you never considered
that you could stop

you traced a map
all over you world
and screamed to your flesh
though you never were heard

you can still dance
with sleeves and scars
but it is harder
to reach the stars

you never thought
you could come home
in your picturesque future
you thoughts you'd be alone

you didn't see me
creeping in at the edges
of you vision
hanging on to ledges

every word you gave
every part of a smile
was part of a 'happy'
thought it took a while

and now we draw
with paper and pencil
not skin and blade
with our arms as a stencil

it's okay
you don't have to
it is always an option
but I got you

You don't have to!
I know you want to
I know you try
But listen outside of your head
Cuz what is in there
Is a lie.

You are worth it
You are loved you
My ray of sunshine
From God above

Put it down
Let me hold you
You aren't a slave
No one sold you

You are your own master
It doesn't have to be faster

Whatever you want
Just please not this
Let nothing touch your skin
Unless its a kiss

You are blessed
With a beautiful smile
So put it down
Just wait a while

No one is like you
Nobody comes close
It doesn't matter
You don't need a perfect nose

You matter
So much in my heart
I will walk this journey, beside you
From the start

It's okay.
I know.
It hurts.
A lot.
But, my beautiful friend, that is all the more reason to stop.
You have self-control
Don't let a stupid piece of metal or flame
Take this toll

You don't have to pay
You owe no debts
So just wait a minute
Don't hurt yourself yet

Breathe in the air
It wont be your last
Let your lungs
Erase the past

Smile a little
At the corners of your lips
Feel the love
Like a gentle kiss

Atleast one person
Doesn't want you to cry
They want you happy
Your eyes to be dry

And if you cant think
Of a single soul
Who doesn't want you broken
But needs you whole

Let me be
Your sweetest memory
Your north star
"It's enough for me."

I'm a stranger
But I am your friend
And I will walk with you
Until the end

I know your heart
I can guess your story
How you were destroyed
And lost all your glory

But even you
Can shine again
I'll take your hand
Just tell me when

Just because you spelt a word wrong
Or maybe said the wrong thing
Maybe someone left, and they wont come back
Be happy for what you have, not what you lack

You never know
How things will change
I just know
They wont be the same

So just a minute
Or maybe an hour
Before tomorrow
And it stings in the shower

You arms are your wings
I want you to fly
You can live and dream
Don't chose to die <3

Xoxo

To dream in color
And write upon her heart
To kiss the stars
Still so far apart

To lay with you
Amongst the shadows
Finding rest with you
Beneath the Hallows

So much sky
My eyes are lost in sight
I look only for you
In this dark night

For you my friend
Are the bright soul
With a light heart
That makes me whole

You did not love me less
You did not start to ignore
You did not look at me with pity
You did not slam the door

You did not swear at me
You did not turn away
You did not close you eyes
You did not make me stay

You held me by the hand
You looked me in the eye
You made me feel the love
And that's what made me cry

I wasn't used to this
Being treated with respect
I did not know what kind was
Now I must reflect

Your lips were the edge of the world
I find myself
Forever falling

On occasion,
When feeling particularly human
I sit in the rain
Let the sky come on to me