"wanter" poems
I am
A needer
A wanter
A desirer
My purpose is to exist
In a state of less-than-enough
I am perpetually hopeful
Always hungry
Always wanting, needing, more, More, MORE
But I am never satisfied
I am consumption
A machine whose sole purpose is self satisfaction
Never satisfied
Jun 1, 2012
Jun 1, 2012 at 3:55 AM UTC
She's a clumsy feline,
A producer of selective shivers
In sheer long glares she gives
Untimely soul feelers.
Which creeps through my bones
Since the last days of winter,
A clutched wanter of deeds,
In an almost sold properties.
She dusts me with her coat
Golden as the sweet summer sun,
Brewing my sleepy dull senses
Like a good coffee and a bun.
For I have told her factually
That these eyes are mere blinded,
But the instincts are sharpened
From the good old days I've reminded.
Come home again, she invited,
To the capital of hope and romances.
As she metals in and moans in discreet,
Then blast me with a little furry treat.
Jan 6, 2016
Jan 6, 2016 at 9:35 AM UTC
I am the rubber of the rosary,
said Sister Paul, my finger and
thumb move over the beads like
a humble worm, I utter prayers
like a hissing snake, my breath
rising in the air like a frightened
bird. The silence enfolds me like
my lover’s arms, its peacefulness
kisses my ears like my lover’s lips,
the touch of the thick silence my
lover’s fingertips. His breath breathes
upon my neck, His requests utter
In my ears, His love echoes through
my being. The darkness embraces
me like a black cloth, my eyes see
shadows in nightly prayers, my sight
fails me with its tired eyes, the late
nights, the on knees prayers, the
going up and down the stairs to
and from the chilling chapel. I am
a denier of self, my self denial is
my weapon against the selfish I,
my way of keeping the ego in its
place, the surging wanter of wants
kept check, each fight for self denial
takes its toll, the selfish I wants its
revenge, seeks its way through my
daily walks, my day to day talks,
the moment of eating, drinking,
sleeping, the dreaming nights.
My lover comes at my least request,
His eyes see me in the darkness’s
hold, His fingers find me and release
my bonds, His words echo through
the blackest night, His love warmer
than the sun’s kiss, His nearness
closer than air to lungs, than stars
to sky. My Lover comes, my prayers
are heard, my soul is lifted up, my
finger and thumb push round the black
beads, He is there, noting each whispered
prayer, he lays me upon my bed, rests
me down, His holy lips healing my soul,
granting peace to my all too human head.
May 4, 2012
May 4, 2012 at 1:51 AM UTC
That look.
That look. It has kept me up, got me through.
You desired me.
Where did it go?
Is it me? Was it you?
The something that was there for so long
it seems.
You saw me, and wanted me anyway.
Or thought you did.
Has it really gone?
Where do I put my sadness?
Do I pour it back into myself, through the cuts in
my skin from my vicious words?
Of course he went off me.
He saw me.
Or do I blame you?
User. Liar. Wanter. Coward. Weak.
Or do I just find a way to live with the sadness
that we wanted each other but couldn't
have each other. You weren't mine to have, even
if you wanted to be.
So where has it gone? Our connection, our
attraction, our lust and hope?
It stays with me as the lump in my throat when
I think of our diverging futures.
As the silent goodnight I say to the side which
has now become 'yours'.
As the dream-you who visits me often.
As the hope I cling to for 'one day'.
But not this day.
Sep 24, 2013
Sep 24, 2013 at 12:07 PM UTC
what could she say for me to lose you ... ?
i'm in a war against keep
fighting an army of loose truth
& if you win, who loses ?
& if you lose, do I approve blue ?
it isn't sane for me to choose clues
over an ocean of proved truth
what do I lose if I lose you ?
all of my come-trues
have become you
& if you lose me, do you lose ?
I'm not this someone to hold onto
we can expand views if you choose to
open a window or your mouth
either will do
not to confuse strews with don't do's
I am through with all this proving
I'm a wanter wanting all of you
ensuing all this sousing
May 12, 2015
May 12, 2015 at 5:02 PM UTC
Have you ever wanted something,
So bad,
That you dream about it every night?
It makes you so happy,
And so sad to think about.
It won't be easy.
The forces that hold you back,
Aren't going to let go.
They're like a brick wall,
But still,
You continue to ****** yourself at them,
Closer to your dream.
Whether I tip-toe closer,
Or I am thrown backwards.
I don't want it,
I need it.
I'm not a wanter,
I'm a dreamer .
What are you?
Sep 30, 2012
Sep 30, 2012 at 7:58 PM UTC
Start with forgiveness
because it's the hard one
not picking at your scabs
let them itch
Tenderly treat yourself
like your dearest love
pull aside the velvet curtains
brush the hair from your careful eyes
All your furious passions, pet them,
soothe your tearful brow
allow yourself to be all you are
genius-fool, lover-hater, beauty-hag
wanter, wanted, wanting
Take baby-steps
toward the arms of peace
Jun 29, 2017
Jun 29, 2017 at 11:40 AM UTC
Feeling wanted is like a drug
It gets in your veins and you can't get enough
The problem is the wanter could be wrong
And he wants you and you want him to belong
In your life so that you stay satisfied
With that drug that he has supplied
But after grasping at handfuls of air
You look down and realize nothing is there
He is like trying to fill a bottomless pail
With a water of emotions, it fails
So after all the trial and error you see
The pail won't fill cause he doesn't own keys
To happiness living deep in your soul
He is the wrong wanter and won't make you whole
Nov 17, 2014
Nov 17, 2014 at 8:57 PM UTC
I am a wanter of fantasy
But I live for the true
Believer of magic
But wonder for reason
Swimming to imagination
Walking for definition
Pondering your love
Wishing it's real
-Jennifer DeAngelo
Copyrighted 2016
Aug 19, 2016
Aug 19, 2016 at 3:48 AM UTC
Spiral in the irises my dreams do
down into the pupil gaping wide
*what goes to hide
it stays inside*
In tepid wanter rot the mortal fools
No one knows why.
In livid water boil angry souls.
They explode.
From the pressure
*it stays inside
Down into the pupil gaping wide
like dreams do*
Jul 4, 2017
Jul 4, 2017 at 2:55 AM UTC
It's getting colder.
darker days are brewing and my mind is about to explode.
Everyday I try to fight this monster.
Something...nay, someone I never wanter to become.
It's getting darker. Im furious.
Not at you, nor her. But myself.
Everyone is a monster to someone.
But you're not convinced I am that monster.
How? Look at what I destroyed.
This isn't fair on you.
This isn't what I wanted.
Im sorry for the trouble.
Im sorry I am burning bridges I built.
I have become death. The destroyer of worlds.
You should hate me for what Im doing.
I know I would.
We are all monsters to someone.
But by refusing to be yours, I have to become my own.
I am my own monster.
I lost myself in this war.
A war I never thought I would fight.
It was never about winning or losing.
As there is still no answer.
But this is about the outcome.
Who we are after this fight.
Can I live with it?
Can I go on with what I did?
I am able to move past this.
But I've hurt you. Ive destroyed you.
Im not pure. Im sorry.
All I can do is apologise.
I have become what I have been fighting this past year.
I am my own monster.
I don't have fangs,
I don't have claws.
I just don't feel the way you do.
Nov 7, 2019
Nov 7, 2019 at 5:27 AM UTC