Dark Path Run

Deep into path darkness

running
fearing
tearing

dark path haunting

in the moon

shadows
vamping
fangs

in the mist by white

earl
smoke

circling the air

dreaded
darkness

night of terror

to souls

fearing fright

black so caped
is the vamping

fangs by the tremor

shake
shiver
quiver

tremble by freeze

cold
lucid
frost

running in the night

terror
eyes
white

so ghostly white

by the vamping
shadows

of fangs

delight

Dark Path Run

By Deb Harman ©

... -; And here I stand,
Utterless, emotionless,
Simply struck
At the thought of being
   P o e m l e s s

Well, I mean, homeless
   As we all know
A poem is a home
   For the mind and soul

Take that lesson and rewind it
Time it
Rhyme it
Place it on that paper that's
L I NE ' D

                          yes,
I did that.
As a poet,
I exempt that.
Re-vamping your language to meet
            
                   MY DESIRES

is where I make impact.

I wonder if vampires
***, or poo
With so much quaffing
Of claret, or blood
If they bite me
My blood may be
Either honey Mead
Or Vindaloo
Flavour
Which could turn them
Kind of funny
And not much to savour
Fang you very much

by Jemia

The first cup of morning joe to the music of vamping crows , the songs of tattletale bluebirds and homesick geese
Frost glows in the sunshine , lighting pasture stubble and winter greens
Woodsmoke covers the valley as gray squirrels multiply their -
tally
Beagles burr in the naked hardwood , a feisty swamp rabbit up to no good* ..

Lab coat ....
Bench tops....
Floor,cabinets,
Pretty much everything is all white....
Except me ......
Bunsen burners
beakers,
Test tubes
Full of emotions,
Boiling .
Vamping off clues......
Of what is it?
Which drives me to be so bendable.
The subject ......
Timid, me.....
Lab Rat.
Find me lost in a maze or running
On the wheel.
In the cage.




Not really too.....
Anything,but maybe away
From
Something



Chemistry.......
Charts and
graphs
Elementary ....
Wall coverings
Crows feet.......
Deepening
Control group
Doin they're thing......
OH!
Here we go.
Controlling.....
Keep going ....
Please......
Keep my head down ......
Keep going .....
Please ....
Don't see me...
Oh ****.....
Hey ........
Whatchadoin?

Waiting here for you to come by and ruin my day .....
Is what I wanted to say.....
But didn't......
Smoke......
somethings.....
Burning internally.
Feeling sorta
In different....
Like madness
Has separated
Me...
Id.......
Me ....
Mamamama
My persona.....

Steeped in a white hot Seether.....
Could neither
Diffuse nor compromise...
Trepidation.....
Not  for persona  sake....
Panic.......
For the opponents.....
Being forewarned....
Chose ignorance.....
Ignoring
The desperate
Overtly obvious
Warning
Signs.....
⚠️
At the apex of max capacity.
two choices.
Guilt could expand the space
Where swallowed pride sits...
at the price of homicide....
Although
Tempting ...
Instead.....
Devise a compromise ...
Inspired  by both sides
And this fault line
Left from
A life time trying to be kind....
Meanwhile
Transparent
Perpetrators
Beguiling
......
Smil­ing overpitty-ing,
Drawing the focus away
From themselves passing the shame  
Character bashing
My friendemies,
For exactly .....
Precisely the
same thing they are doing
Saying sternly
HEY  !!!!!!!!!!?
Don't you go & let them talk you into anything .
Look at me
You don't owe them a thing....
I mean it ....."
As I listen to these wealthy friends telling me they feel so bad for me ....
And there so sad cause they wish they could pay me
But right now
Can only give me a couple bucks .....but in two weeks come on back
& They'll settle up......
Then they don't...
Stoke the fire
Start woofin
The bellows
Flames darker ...and rising
This is it .....indecisive decisions on which side of the schism to give or not to give in .......
A raging torrent is oxidizing
Standing on the fence line
I'm the accelerant....
The sparks the flames the maddening magnesium
The wind uprooting trees and burning them
Woofin big time ******* in oxygen .....
Like a constant burst that don't end .
So brightening

Suns faded out ...
And now it's darkening
As my psyche
Deviding

Split ......
id good ....
Id bad .....
Strange !.?.!.....
Very .......
News to me...
There is someone around here.....
Apperantly ....that looks just like me ...
Cause that's not like ????
I need hard evidence and need to be convinced
Without which ....
Recollection.....
Won't set in .....
Bewildering ...
If and when ...
I remember the checanery and shenanigans
I have allegedly done...
There comes this this image ..
Me now ...
At a good distance behind
"The" age 7 me... .
secretly watching ....
In the back yard    
Of the home predating
That age.....
At dawn...
And the warmth of the sun in my face and the fog
Dissipating
"In front"  me
Above the sunken marsh in view of the slough
And secretive
Personal trail
no one but me knew through
Those cattails
I loved so much....and my favorite carrion the red winged blackbird singing .....
Not a thought or care in the world
Taking a good healthy breath.
The overwhelming
Sensation of a satisfying grin begining to unfurl
Turning into a gratifying smile.

i'm sitting... well... i can't call it sitting... not given my proportions
and the size of the windowsill...
i'm perched on it... sure... sitting... i managed to turn
my folded leg: on which i'm sitting into a makeshift cushion:
sure... the leg is numb after i drifted off into the night
and... oddly... the night saved me from the nothing
that not thinking: i.e. pretending to think while not thinking
(creative a narrative) actually creates...
i like the night... the night is not the universe...
i hardly think about the world from the perspective of
thinking about the universe... black holes and stars don't
really bother me... they amaze me... but...
let's just say i need something immediate...
i know it's winter because the early morning fog is heavy
and fog hanging in the air is what finally makes
the trees loose all their golden fleeces of pointless
chlorophyll... so there they are: daunting skeletons...
plus the air is getting heavier because it's getting dried
in the cold... but not the sort of cold associate
with the continent...
    i just sit there and wonder... looking at my private
library... the last books my late grandfather bought...
i'm on vol. 6 of the modern epic and: to no surprise...
i couldn't have read the books in English...
just like i couldn't read a philosophy book in English...
with one exception... Wittgenstein's Tractatus...
the opening line hooked me:
     that line about tautology... and... well?
how people speak tautologically... i.e. misguiding actual
rhetoric for... sinking into the depths of a thesaurus (rex)...
i dipped into that grand book from time to time:
but rarely did i give it much attention...
why? well... if there's a substitute word i can use
to other turn a daisy into a ******* bouquet of flowers...
if my language can exfoliate...
oh... you see it with the decrepit writers...
they will employ the thesaurus from time to time:
it's so obvious... why? the substitute word used stands
out like a Siamese Twin's fourth limb...
if you don't use "said" word on a daily basis...
why are you ramping / vamping your otherwise passing-by
vocab?
esp. when you can work and work around with
alternations of 2 + 2 = 4... why complicate 2 + 2 = 4
with... say... 2 + √4 = 4?!
                                       but i like these moments...
i'm sitting without a single cognitive-itch of thought
cramming my mind... looking at the night
and the night looking back at me...
infuriating me with an absence of something
that's not a wife or children...
or conversation...
                        
                           it's a Friday night and i have a party in
my head... even though i'm not dancing...
well... tapping my fingers keeping a rhythm to
a song: make-out... Cristooh...
long gone are the years of being 18 through to 21
and walking back home from a night out in a club
being "rejected" by women...
i forgot about screaming mad being rejected...
these days it's so much easier...
i just go to the brothel and get my fill...
luck? what luck... i'm just smart to have avoided
any sexually transmitted diseases...
i played this one "prank" on Mona while she surprised
me by wanting to perform oral *** on me
without protection... i ****** my naked flesh into
her twice: i knew she was not willing...
but i did it as a "joke"... listen, i told her...
i know... but i just wanted to give you a feel...
all hell broke loose when i realised that
she actually put a ****** on my phallus that was
way too small... after climaxing and the great
"shrimp-shrinking"... the ****** with the offload
remained in her... my problem?
you put a ****** on me that was too small!

but i just started sitting there "thinking"...
we're not a part of any generation that has...
the capacity to become innovators of bettering existence...
we didn't invent the hammer coupled with the nail...
we didn't invent the ship, or beer...
we didn't invent electricity... we saturated this space
with social media and **** knows what else...
i'm sitting there and thinking...
furore! Adolf ****** killed X number of people...
AIDS? probably killed just as much...
and the latter half weren't dehumanised... they walked
into the slaughterhouse like slaughter-bound-cretins...
the former half had a decent amount of party
with the **** speaking: blah blah you'll be fine...

we don't live in a time when some genius is going
to reinvent aeroplanes... or the process of making whiskey...
or sending an email... or bypassing
the scrutiny of editors of publishing houses:
which are no longer houses...
same ****, different cover on some page
on the internet...
             we're a generation that can either:
1. create as little existential complications... or...
2. create as many existential complications as are deemed
required... possible...
too bad i'm bilingual and my lessons in grammar
sort of short-circuit when an English-speaking person
with the generosity of identifying as trans-ortho-meta-
benzene-cuck-ring-****-friendly-dwag-qveen-blah­-blah...
comes across someone akin to: i'm not budging...
i gave up my formative years to pedagogy...
strict... catholic pedagogy... old dog new tricks...
you think one biologically adult wants to learn lessons
from another biologically adult that has the mental
capacity less inquisitive of a child, something?!
you think?!

oh sure... at 36... i should have a wife and kids...
learning from the most proximate defendants of said practice...
my mother and my father... freaks...
my great-grandfather and great-grandmother...
also freaks...
the rest? oh... nomads of the heart...
perhaps my great-uncle and great-aunty on my maternal
side... he ended up being an amputee
and she turned out to be a hunchback... they stuck together...
the rest? shrapnel alliances...
i'm not getting involved...
i have my space and my books...
and my ******...

                but we will not be of a generation where
something grand will emerge... we have everything...
foremost we have medicinal anaesthesia!
for ****'s sake... the wonders people managed discovering
the ultra-components of cloves!
the discovery of beer!
                         what are "we" supposed to discover?
the decency to shut the **** up and live a very pleasant life
on the verges of teasing a "metaphor" of
Robinson Crusoe?!
                               looks that way!

we're the mediating generation...
mind you... ask me 3 hours prior while i was helping with
putting up the Christmas decorations...
who's your favorite Batman...
i would have told you... Michael Keaton...
hands down...
then again... who directed those two films?
first movie was fine... second movie?
Bat meets Scissor-hand-man... that ******...
teenage girl macabre... i get it... the Penguin made it great...

oh but this Batman movie wasn't like
all that stupendous Christopher Nolan "thinking"...
i actually liked this movie... well...
the first 20 minutes of it... the football was on
and i was gearing up to being busy with drinking...
but? a heresy...
Robert Pattison is the best Batman... ever...

Michael Keaton was... but...
                       no no... this is another level of the playing
field... it's like asking someone: who's you favorite Bond...
Daniel Craig... Brosnan, Connery, T. Dalton... or Moore...
eh? trick question...
   WOE'G'ER! ****'s sake... a ginger **** that ****
beats anything south of ginger... or auburn...
or mahogany... or whatever that ******* pumpernickel
was or wasn't... alive or terribly sorry: dead...

**** me, i grew up on a diet of Batman this...
Batman that...
i wasn't raised by my father from the age of
4 through to 8...
i wasn't raised by mother from the age of 6 through
to 8... it wasn't difficult...
but the "moniker" stuck with me...  
            no wonder i'm stll living in the "incesto...

incestoual rupture: wow! another google-whack
via a mis-spelling:
  incestoual rupture vs.
                  incestual rupture...

time to die... zeit zu sein geboren!
    und alles das ist... willkommen! das ist alle!
nein! nein! alles ist alles!

this begging before the altar of freedoms
before the atomised projection of the bomb...
death by stealth.. carried the dead baby
to its cranium and cradle with
Hispanic sighs...

i still love you: regardless the misgivings
of older and more provocative men...
i still love you...
       i will shed wanting with the tears i'd want
to shed: which i won't...
but i will not cry...
i'll just think of ice-cream!

This is the night that the lights went out on me.
The fatal sight mine eyes
Could never unsee.
Giver of life ,
Most trusted confidant,
My Queen......
My love my truest friend,
I will spend a life time
Still never comprehend ,
Why this had to be..........
lost in contemplation
Of
Inevitable aftermath  
In preparation trying to brace myself against
imminent impact.
Taunting me I sat ,
And sunk hauntingly into
A maelstrom of fears and trepidation. .........
Without her who will I be?
Awakened from dissolution by a refreshing icy cold slap in the face.    
My mind's eye dipped into an acid bath ......
Emerged bereft of selfish filters ........and brought clarity that is not my time ,but Hers .....and it is but a vapour now ,
Precious and fleeting with a quickness .........
I pushed all negative thoughts to the horizon of my mind ....
So I could take events in stride
Although in doin so
I knew ,and did my best
To hide .....
This the beginning of the end of me
From this I cannot mend
The epitomy of melancholy
I was chosen as her ring man and accepted gratefully.
Managed her corner to the best of my ability...
The best moments of my life and shall forever be..
Yet I'm still haunted ......
And the sharply narrowing of the fields of what we wanted.........
Ever loomed ....vamping my energy.
Undaunted,
her opponent advanced
Relentlessly......
My chest heaves hands tied .....
Broken..
I fall to my knees
Severed forever my last tether
To humanity.
Most elegant warrior I have ever seen.
Knowing me
Could console me!
Sophisticated and obnoxious
Said her hair wasnt red ....
It was strawberry blonde
A little piece of insight.  
Known to nary run from a fight ......
Broke me fatters jaw ...
And me uncles too ..
On their wedding night...
None the less.......
And with such mischievous elegance
With the heart of a leprechaun
Hard not to say
She was simply complicated. .............
I marvel in the way
Her beauty still hasn't
Faded from me
epicenter of happiness and all that was good in me ....
She was my everything
Same hood,
Same team,
Understood ..... Completed me
The only one who truly loved me .
The lost champion ,
My lost companion ,
Savagely beaten to death
While I could only stand by and watch helplessly.
And in disbelief
Stroked her hair ,.....
Held her gently
And  the world lost all of  its humor, charm  and meaning.
As she breathed out and left me...with just  her body...in my arms
On new years eve.
And the silence is still maddening from the
No reply
As ...I  ...am faced with this insanity
As we became I put both her hands on my face
Cried quietly Mamma
Please don't leave me..
Rest in peace Mom I love you....
Her opponent?
Non small cell squamous
Lung cancer.