love is easy peasy - letting go
falling to catch the updrift wind

fear is difficult - clinging on
surface level entry wears away,
turns to roots
toxic.

love is easy and requires work
to dig up the fear roots , keep them away

by gliding in the up drift
allowing worries to flit , flutter , float away
because loving is easy
nothing to it at all
natural flow
inside my heart

i want to let go
to jump into the void
and catch my wings on an updrift of wind
to feel the freedom of longing
but the resistance and gravity
of the thought of you is both holding me back
and pulling me down.
the thought of you restricts me from
going,
leaving,
starting my life how it's suppose to be,
becomes hope is demolition to a soul of love.
notice how i said the thought of you.
it isn't you,
but my mind's imagination of what could be.
the gravity of knowing i will never be enough for you
pulls me down and weighs on my heart.
i know it will shatter and i know i won't recover..
but it's a high that only your drug can give me.
and honestly, i'd face this overdose
over withdraw anyday.