Here I sit still, awaiting the answer,
Awaiting this testament,
Awaiting my retreat.
For soon will these
Closed doors be locked and unopened,
Or pushed to let light in, unshut and unsheathed.

A poor fool am I, who sits on her hands.
Talking in melodies, but ne’er across the land.
Whose voice is a weapon, but only in mind:
In soul, but not earth,
In heart, but not time.

The people have chosen, we stand in defeat.
No triumph,
Their triumph,
Inequality: not deceased.
We’re Animals, savages- away from the fields;
Asleep;
Unmoving;
No weapons to weild.

In silence, pure silence, I seek my revenge.
I seek out their vengeance, But only with eyes.
My mouth is tucked inward, held fast at the henge.
No words will escape me,
Nor actions,
Nor lies.

My heart is not true, so they say, so
I trust.
But my mind does not falter,
I know what is just.

For am I a lost cause?
I know it, I’ve seen it,
I’m not even true in my mind.
But Hope is a strong friend, an outcast as I am:
An outcast that oft leaves me blind.

And now I sit still, awaiting an answer,
Awaiting this testament
Awaiting my retreat.
My heart is a closed door, awaits to be opened.
Pushed to let light in, unshut and unsheathed.

I

A speckled cat and a tame hare
Eat at my hearthstone
And sleep there;
And both look up to me alone
For learning and defence
As I look up to Providence.

I start out of my sleep to think
Some day I may forget
Their food and drink;
Or, the house door left unshut,
The hare may run till it's found
The horn's sweet note and the tooth of the hound.

I bear a burden that might well try
Men that do all by rule,
And what can I
That am a wandering-witted fool
But pray to God that He ease
My great responsibilities?

II

I slept on my three-legged stool by the fire.
The speckled cat slept on my knee;
We never thought to enquire
Where the brown hare might be,
And whether the door were shut.
Who knows how she drank the wind
Stretched up on two legs from the mat,
Before she had settled her mind
To drum with her heel and to leap?
Had I but awakened from sleep
And called her name, she had heard.
It may be, and had not stirred,
That now, it may be, has found
The horn's sweet note and the tooth of the hound.

I
A SPECKLED cat and a tame hare
Eat at my hearthstone
And sleep there;
And both look up to me alone
For learning and defence
As I look up to providence.
I start out of my sleep to think
Some day I may forget
Their food and drink;
Or, the house door left unshut,
The hare may run till it's found
The horn's sweet note and the tooth of the hound.
I bear a burden that might well try
Men that do all by rule,
And what can I
That am a wandering-witted fool
But pray to God that He ease
My great responsibilities?
I slept on my three-legged stool by thc fire.
The speckled cat slept on my knee;
We never thought to enquire
Where the brown hare might be,
And whether the door were shut.
Who knows how she drank the wind
Stretched up on two legs from the mat,
Before she had settled her mind
To drum with her heel and to leap?
Had I but awakened from sleep
And called her name, she had heard.
It may be, and had not stirred,
That now, it may be, has found
The horn's sweet note and the tooth of the hound.

ANOTHER SONG OF A FOOL

THIS great purple butterfly,
In the prison of my hands,
Has a learning in his eye
Not a poor fool understands.
Once he lived a schoolmaster
With a stark, denying look;
A string of scholars went in fear
Of his great birch and his great book.
Like the clangour of a bell,
Sweet and harsh, harsh and sweet.
That is how he learnt so well
To take the roses for his meat.

I stare at your eyes and gather;
I close mine and wait:

the soft, yet vapid
on my lips, slightly open.
Yours cupped on my overlip.

The charged air, the sublimed space.

I close mine on yours,
and stay.
The comfort of overwhelmed.
We stay, please.

I push.

The warmth
of your every breath on
my philtrum:
you are with me, now;

I feel my bridge on yours
point it
and rest
on the vast, skin beside.
(carry me)

I run my thumb
on the smooth of your jaw,
the tender and sweet in
them lips
your delicate beauty.

Yes, dear:
I drown myself tonight
in your mouth.
We glow
in our little corner of the dark,
and starless sky.

Your brow loll on my forehead
your eyes gently unshut
looking
beyond the locked lips,
and the caressing chins,
on us.

Because.

My love,
more to tomorrow
and growing surround,
the ephemera of the night:

our lips,
inevitably,
will part.

Where the rising field
folds
under the light
horizon
taking the land out   up
into the sky
and you've no idea what lies
on the down *****
to a ditch
past a scattering
of cows;

beyond the lamp in the window
where the unshut curtain
hangs
as a figure appears pauses
bends to look at something     takes
it away and leaves
to read and read;

at the bus stop people
standing
waiting for a number
a shape

a co-incidence of time
and place;

and you've no idea who
or why:

this the axis
of the mind.

We sit in your car
With the sun shining through
And take a moment
To just
Breathe.

Through the peach-fuzz pink
Of the interior of my eyelids
I can feel you watching me,
Your gaze as warm and lingering
As the rays of sunlight softly caressing my skin,
I imagine you tracing a pattern in your mind,
Following the gentle flutterings of my eyelids
Exploring the soft shape of my face
Watching the gentle susurration of my breath pooling from just-parted lips
Tracking the ridges of my collarbones
On marble white skin.
I can feel you watching me
And it makes me so overjoyed
Because I missed this
This thing that is not quite yet but a little akin
to love.

A moment of self doubt
Flickers in my field of vision-
What if I am wrong?
What if you do not feel this way
And I am stuck
In this idyllic peach-pink cherry-blossom fantasy of my own creation?
So I unshut my eyelids
Unstop time
And through the bluish haze
Of the suns rays
I find
Your eyes
On mine.

Please there
Dreamy Deity don't
Make me slow once the
Eyes are open and
Consciousness is
On her voyage home
From R.E.M eternities.

Please there don't
Make me SO TIRED!
I can't stand not
Standing
(Too sleepy to know what the words is)

I rather be yawns through hours
Than sifting in&out; of
Hallucinations and
Premonitions of future
Déjà-vu's

Please there-
Be my sleep saint and
Turn my sheets to
Razor wire
(Isn't THAT an incentive!)
Make the mattress a
Silent grenade
(Only chance of survival is
To cross the fingers with eyes
Unshut)

Beacon that bathroom light
Mid hallway
- Cold-water sink
Tap lighthouse
Or tickle my toes.

Oh ethereal!
I want to feel distant
From those drowsies
Filling my ears and eyes.
They do a good job of
Throwing me.            Out
Of the lOOp!
I miss October,
I miss July,
If not the insomnia/
Light switch is off!
And Z becomes my
Favorite letter of the Alphabet..
(Zzzzzzz...)
How am I supposed to
Become Mahāsattva if
The illusion cocoons                                                  
Me daily                                                            ­          
And people keep asking                                          
If I'm depressed?                                                       ­ 
Sometimes I wonder,                                                
If sleep has caused any of my apathy                    
Or the other way'round.                                          
(The chicken or the egg)                                          
                                                                ­                      
None of these thoughts be possible                        
When my bones brittle with                                    
B E I N G       S O      T I R E D

I want none of those non
Natural cures and caffeinated
Horrors
Or sleep medications crawling into
My monthly expenses.
I want none of that trouble or
The trouble I'm already in
I just wanna-

(At-                                                    ­        Z
                                                       ­              Z
this point                                                    Z
      ­                I stop writing                       Z
               due to incoherence                     Z
                                                               ­      Z
                                                               ­      Z
and let the oceans of                                Z
                             ­                                         Z
Night drown me                                        Z
                     ­                                                 Z.............
fast)

The one who will love you shall come like the wind,
With a gentle breeze or a tempest within.
Their love will caress you with a tender touch,
And bring comfort, like a warm, gentle clutch.

Like a meandering stream that flows so serene,
Their love will be constant, a calming routine.
Through twists and turns, in every season,
Their devotion will remain, beyond any reason.

Their love, like autumn's vibrant display,
Will bring colors to your life, in every way.
With passion and warmth, their affection will bloom,
As leaves gently fall, they'll banish all gloom.

The one who will love you shall come like a flood,
A torrential force, rushing in, fierce and unshut.
Their love, like a bushfire, will spread with might,
Engulfing your heart in a warm, glowing light.

As a mighty avalanche reshapes the land,
They'll reshape your world, with a touch so grand.
Their love, like a soaring hurricane's gale,
Will leave no doubt, as emotions prevail.

Just as lightning strikes, unexpected and bright,
They'll electrify your soul, with love's pure light.
Like a tempest at sea, they'll stir your emotion,
A love that rocks your heart, with relentless devotion.

Like a shooting star, streaking through the sky,
Their love will amaze you, as it passes by.
In the depths of the ocean, so vast and profound,
They'll explore your heart, where true love is found.

Just like the moon's pull on the relentless tide,
Their love will draw you close, with nothing to hide.
In the quiet of night, like a twinkling star,
Their love will guide you, no matter how far.

Their love, like the sun, shining bright and warm,
Will bring light to your life, through any storm.
And just like a diamond, so precious and rare,
Their love will be cherished beyond compare.

They'll erupt into your life with fiery passion,
Leaving no doubt, it's a love that's meant to happen.
For in the journey of love, so wild and free,
You'll find the one who loves you, and you'll see,

So open your heart, embrace love's profound art,
For the one who will love you, shall conquer your heart.

Write me A dream,
My mind you have been,
I couldn’t quite look,
Through eyes unshut.
I heard your smile,
Speak - stay awhile.
A shake of my head,
Is all that was said.
Then I start to conjure,
Through my wonder.
Should I go back - too interact.
Start us again,
Call you my friend?
Unplant the seeds that we sowed,
Share again our heavy load.
Rebuild the bridge that we broke,
Turn the fire into smoke.
Retract the words that we spoke,
Exchange “Im sorry” in best hope.

in outer space, with no sun in sight,
i open my eyes. and yet more black
surrounds this craft alone, as if its
defiant lids were never unshut.

a glimpse: far-off needlepoints of light,
beyond the yawning gulf of pitch-black,
are born-dying drifts in sightless pits,
digesting in a bottomless gut.

Enemy
How deep should I hurt thee
Wounds always fresh
Dagger at the ready
Enemy
Who sent you to steal my sanity.
Enemy
You left the cage door unshut
Now allow me to introduce you  to my beast
Enemy
Your pain will be my
Rebirth.
Once upon a time I could not spell the word enemy.
Now I have a date with you
One day.