It happened to be a Frontier of deception
cowards in fear with no visual perception
Tender feet blister from the miles they run
Enlightenment was needed, we lost the meaning of fun
Struggle was a word that become a wish in our heads
For what We were going through ripped our courage to shreds
A weeping song vibrated at night
To carry my brother to the never ending light
Forsaken children taken from the ones that they loved
Family's driven through madness, here his life had been shoved
Down a drain where one should take there last breath
So there for Inception was the misconception before my best friends unmeaningful death

Flash. Freeze and stop time. Open the door left slightly ajared, and glance into our past. Peer into my memories, my moments, my seconds all spent in your arms; I will never forget. Early conversations, short and unmeaningful. Never giving dismissed flickers of emotion a second thought. Lost in time, consumed by envy, I never tended to the seed planted inside my soul.

Days collide together, morphing into one continuous loop dragging on forever. Walking in a robotic fashion, I filled the vacant space in my heart with bitterness. The walls built inside my heart stood tall, laid out brick by brick; each one tells a story. So much ugliness lived inside of me, growing like a cancerous cell, constantly multiplying and taking over consuming every part of me. Cutting off my view from the rest of the world. Trapped in my own mind, the door bolted shut from my own insecurities and selfishness.

I always looked through you, just another face in the sea of people I had to deal with on a daily basis. My gratitude concealed in the deepest part of my mind.

Flash. Fast forward and freeze. Watch the seasons change and the tide retreat. Birds sing sweet songs of joy, basking in the early spring sunshine. Flowers bloom with excitement, and dance in the whistling wind.

Every glance, every word spoken by your benevolent smile creates a staggered heart beat. Warmth radiating through every nerve with each thump. Chills traveling down my spine. A change of heart.

You taught me to smile, to breath, to live, to grow, to love, and care. To care for, to communicate with,  to express myself. Forever thankful for everything I have learned.

Take my hand and whisk me away high above the clouds to our world. Wrap yourself around me promise to never let me go. Catch me if I fall, lift me back up. Believe in me to help me believe in myself.

The truth is lying in our blood. Hand in hand, heart in heart, mind in mind. Swelling devotion with an irresistible force pushing me closer to you every day.

I refuse to fight these long forgotten feelings anymore. Everything I am and ever was lies in your smile. My well being lies in your delicate touch. Your eyes see right through me, yearning to protect me. There is no one else to share, be my world and ill be yours. Trust me and I'll do the  same. Be my one and only do not share, put all you have into me and I will mirror your actions.

Sweet, soulful bliss
Of a soft, tender kiss
Will only last so long
Before it starts to feel so wrong
How can I trust
When there are lies in your lust
And even if I ignore
That it's her you adore
I'll still feel the long
Of your unmeaningful song
And the adventure in your eyes
As I believe all your lies

A four letter word,
seems so easy to say
filled with pain and sorrow, nothing more
or happiness and joy, nothing better.
for me it has only stood for
problems and missed signals
lack of passion and virtue
lies and broken promises
nothing more. nothing less.
just a four letter word
that so many others said in vain
no longer holding any weight.
so unmeaningful. so dull
a word used as an excuse
for things we don’t respect
to pursue after something for ourselves
pleasure, people, ***
overused, underrated
and spoken every day
some forget, it's not just a word
it's a feeling that is as alive
as the people who share it.
for those who really know you,
the ones you care about,
dream about. can't breath without
require no words,
our actions speak more truth
than one word could ever stand for

After getting off the phone with you,
I sit in the bathtub to make sense of the feeling that i'm drowning.
I blame it on the water, my soul isn't heavy it's the soapy water encasing my body.
It's time to be honest.
I don't pick up the phone because i'm scared of the repercussion.
I'm scared to feel myself sink back into a shell that I threw away a year ago with the memory of the pain.
But you know me, I don't throw anything away, I tuck it into a dark corner and say "maybe i'll need it again."
I don't talk a lot because thoughts of I miss you, come home, you made me so sad, you made me so happy, you made me ME, keep running through my head that an unmeaningful conversation about what's on TV doesn't flow.
No, I don't remember anything from when we were young i've hidden it from myself, but yes i'll tell you I remember just so you can tell the story because I know it makes you feel something.
Yes, i'm just as numb as you are and I know you didn't ask, but everytime you say you're just tired I want to say "me too."
Tired of fighting, tired of displaying feelings, tired of hanging myself out to dry after the flood has passed.
So now, I sit in my bathtub moving the water with my feet, remembering doing the same in the river water last time you made me feel pain.
a.n.F

ARE YOU OKAY?

Are you okay?
When you ask me,
Are you okay?
Is this a greeting to show me you care?
Or is it just words that are left meaningless?
Without knowing my reply,
What kind of response are you seeking from me,
When you are asking me?

Are you okay?
I open my heart and share with you how I’m really feeling,
In reply, you say, not much at all, or let's discuss this later,
I am taken aback…
To your thoughtless and unmeaningful gesture,
That originally initiated that you cared,
But in the end left me,
Feeling not okay.

Like your footsteps,
Treading over my heart,
As you dismissed my reply,
That I’m actually not okay,
And crying out for help.

Nobody likes to ask for help,
And therefore, many will,
Bite their tongue and,
Sit in silence,
When you ask that person,

-Are you okay?
© By HF - Whisper
8/9/2020 21:21PM