Shayad mai vo nahi jiski talash har kisi ko hoti hai,
Jisk paas har khushi hoti hai ,
Ek apni hi jindagi hoti hai,
Vo chalte hai jab jameen par,
To duniya unk kadmon pe hoti hai,
aur tu chahta hai man hi man kisi aise ko,
Par tujhe pane ki chahat mere man me har ghadi hoti hai,
Shayad mai vo nahi jiski talash har kisi ko hoti hai....
jo rahte hai mahlon me,
aur jinki duniya sitaron se saji hoti hai,
vo khud hote nahi bheed ka hissa,
balki unk liye kahin ek bheed lagi hoti hai,
vo jindagi ko dekhte nahi,
jindagi unk intjaar me khadi hoti hai,
aur tu hai k unk liye sapne sajati hai,
par tujhe pane ki chahat me meri jindagi thokar khakar gir chuki hoti hai,
shayad mai vo nahi jiski talash har kisi ko hoti hai......
bekar hi unka koi andaaj ku na **,
kitna hi kathor unka dil ku na **,
vo tujhe chahe na chahe kya fark padta hai,
chahe kitne b magroor vo kyu na **,
mere paak saaf dil me base pyar se tujhe kya matlab,
meri jine ki wajah hi tu ku na ** to kya matlab,
tere muh modne se meri saanse hi ku na ruk jaye, tujhe to hasrat hai sirf unki,
duniya deewani hoti hai jiski,
aur tujhe kisi aur ka hote hue dekhkar ye aankhen bujh chuki hoti hai,
kuk shayad mai vo nahi jiski talaash har kisi ko hoti hai,
par tum ** vahi jiski chahat meri jindagi hoti hai,
shayad mai vo nahi jiski talaash har kisi ko hoti hai....

apno se jada gairon ki yaad aati hai,
jab jindagi kisi gair ki mohtaaj ** jaati hai,
dil ka haal samajhne vala koi nahi hota,
aur jindagi hai k bas ek chidiya ki tarah ud jati hai,
dll me yaad basi rah jaati hai,
mashaal jalti hui achanak bujh jati hai,
aankhon k saamne base andhera hi andhera dikhta hai,
har roshni bhi feeki pad jati hai,
jab jindagi kisi gair ki mohtaaj ** jati hai....
wajah bewajah hi dard uthta rhta hai,
aankhon ka mom har waqt pighalta rahta hai,
aansoo b rasta aona badal lete hai,
dil me tadap k shiva aur kuj nahi bachta hai,
har khwahish dafan ** jati hai,
chahat bas khud ko khatam karne ki rah jati hai,
jab jindagi kisi gair ki mohtaaj ** jati hai.....
shahar logon se bhara hokar bhi veeran lagta hai,
din nikalte hi dhalne lag jata hai,
bewajah koi insaan shaitan lagne lagta hai,
khud ki ek saan bhi bejaan lagne lagti hai,
bejaan aawaj,
rookhe shabd,
pathrayi aankhen,
aur aansuon ki sookhi dhara shrajal ** uthti hai,
jab jindagi kisi gair ki mohtaaj ** jati hai.....
yun to har waqt khyal dil me rhta hai k vo mera hai,
tabhi koi khta hai k vo nahi bas bhram tera hai,
aur kitna pyar me barbaad ** jaun,
khatam ** jaun ya tujhme hi mar jaun,
aasan nahi koi jirah rah jati hai,
har gali kooche se bas unk nikalne ki aas rahti hai,
vo mere nahi har taraf bas ek hi aawaj goonjti hai,
din khatam raat shuru,
roshni gayi andhera shuru,
sath khatam tanhayi shuru,
bas yahi tadpan har ghadi rah jati hai,
vo meri nahi kisi aur ki ** jati hai,
jindagi kisi gair ki mohtaaj ** jati hai....

it all feels like disease and i want to strip my bones raw; manic
(sugar rush deity)

what am i to you… what are you to me, aside from endearing silhouettes; pixie
(mumbling shy songs)

in an ocean of violents in bloom we speak artificial prayer; dream
(cloaked in starry-eyed acapella—thats what they think, no?)

i surrender to your clarity and intensity and charm and beauty that my hands are too numb and dull to touch; girl

and then comes wrath: a dewy vileness teetering on the brink of your 9th life
now hell has harnessed my chest, for it is with deep regret and shaky sobs that every opening and crack in my body emits rotten remains of our silent war…

but there are still heartfelts i never mustered up the courage to let go of:

thank you for tip-toeing around broken strings to reach out once more, twice more
thank you for enduring my futile voyages through resentment
thank you for soaking all my insanity in like sunlight and excreting back out a gentle rainfall

bewafa agar wo hote to unse shikayat mai kar leta,
pyar to aaj bhi unse hi karta hu,
tab shayad shikwa bhi kar leta,
na wo bewafa hai na mai shikayat kar sakta hu,
vo to bas door hai mujhse,
tab shayad khud ko unse door kar leta,
bewafa agar vo hote to unse shikayat mai kar leta....
yun to kai baar vo muhse rooth jaya karte hai,
tab shayad mai khud hi unse rooth jata,
ab vo yaad bahut aate hai,
tab shayad unhe bhool jane ki koshish mai kar leta,
yaad me unki ab bhi aansoo bahata hu mai,
tab shayad unhe yad na aane k gam me ro leta,
bewafa agar vo hote to unse shikayat mai kar leta....
baarish jab hoti aur vo sath nahi hote,
to akela hi us barish me bheeg leta,
tanha hu mai aaj bhi unk bina,
tab shayad unhe kareeb lane ki koshish na kar pata,
ab to bas jindagi beet rahi hai  unk aane ki ummeed k sahare,
shayad tab khud ko mita diya hota,
bewafa agar vo hote to unse shikayat mai kar leta.

/                                america, july 18th:
  and the utter media shambles -
like ****** and steroids
for the uninitiated -
     tongues without the rattlesnake
trill of an ᚨᚱ:
   numbed w'ah w'ah peddling
of woe to row the sinking boat:
maniac adult funfair
attempting a nostalgia
for the playground game
of bulldog...

                russia, 25th march:
the kemerovo fire (siberia) -
          children frying, screaming,
perhaps even hoping -
  a shying herod, the example
of: as moloch descended...
          prayers in the fire
                  by the innocents...

england, july 19th -
   alternative to rehydrating
using water...
    a generous 5 hour sleep -
******* on the remains
of last night's lemon
     used to infuse the subtle
smoky of bell's whiskey,
playlist:

- the jon spencer blues
  explosion (bellbottoms)
- britney spears (criminal)
- twenty one pilots (heathens)
- calvin harris (this is what you came for)
- camila cabello (habana)
- rihanna (disturbia)
- birdbrain (youth of america)
- ghost (ritual)
- focus (hocus pocus)
- edwyn collins (a girl like you)
- the guess who (american woman)
- the knack (my sharona)
- cronica (herr mannelig)

and then onto buckling in
4 beers and thinking
about black holes as the pin-head
of antimatter -
a dead sun...
     dead, but not dead...

   and the first, crude graphic
tomb raider game...

   rather than having completed
it...
     since only owning
a demo...

                 investigating
the possibility of 2D objects in
3D space...
       well: the universe isn't even
exactly 3D: it's hyper-3D...
    but in the tomb raider game
you could walk up to a minor
detail in the game, a fern,
and observe two-dimensionality
in a "three dimensional space"...

   namely: the ferns were all 2D,
and rotated within a "hyperbole"
of the eye -
   however you observed the "object"
it rotated round and round,
never allowing you to see
    its demoniac otherside -

i can only expect dead suns to
behave in such a manner -
   two dimensional objects in a three
dimensional subject matter -
almost paradoxical -

     rotating at immense speed...
invigorating a near but not quiet
a postportem of a death...

       and you really can see UV light
surface
staring at a glaring hot sun with
a naked eye -
   and see the same hyper-rotation -
it's almost like looking at
molten silver, but with a hint
of violet - i.e. akin phosphorescence:
but in the daytime...

and who said you need to
ingest hallucinogenics -
    and enter the labyrinth of a short,
short, history,
    of the chipmunk caveman?

i'm just drunk, you're probably
sober...
    but those guys doing
a timothy leary sermon?
   they're...
     gone.......................... gone -
     they hit the tangens curve.

hai mujhse khafa kyun mera khuda,
kyun mujhse jhagadna chod diya,
hai ab to bas  intjaar us pal ka,
kab fir se chahakna unka sun paunga,
meri choti choti baton par,
kab unka khilkhilana sun paunga,
kyun meri shikayat hai lagti buri,
k fir shikayat karne ka mauka hi cheen liya......
hai mujhse khafa kyun mera khuda,
kyun mujhse jhagadna chod diya,
yun tanha chod k mujhko gaya,
kyun hak mujhpe jatana chod diya,
ab kaise karu mai unko khabar,
k unk bina na ji paunga,
agar aaye na vo vapas jaldi,
mai duniya chod chala jaunga,
hai ab bhi waqt vaapas aa jao,
kahin khabar na mile kisi aur se,
k  yaaad me unki maine saanse bharna chod diya....
hai mujhse khafa kyun mera khuda,
kyun mujhse jhagadna chod diya,
teri khushboo me jo madhoshi hai,
kyun mujhko juda hai usse kiya,
bas aur nahi takat mujhme,
maine khud ko samajhna chod diya,
na jaao mujhe yun ghayal kark,
aankhen bhi sath nahi deti,
aa jao mere pas sanam,
aab ashkon ne b bahna chod diya,
hai mujhse khafa kyun mera khuda,
kyun mujhse jhagadna chod diya.......

Not everything is ok
Not even close to ok
I didn’t get the thing I wanted the most
And that makes me feel unk
That makes me feel heartbroken and crushed
And a little bit tired
I really wanted this
But it didn’t happen
And what’s worse
Is that I can’t imagine my life without this thing
And that is not ok
But yet deep inside of me
I have a little just a little faith
Ik that god is watching
And he knows that for me it’s not ok
But it will be ok
In fact it is ok right now
At this very second
Bc this thing was not ok for me
Nor I was ok for it
And so god knows
What is ok and what is not
And hence thinking about that
Just the fact that god
Sees, listens, and knows
What is ok for me
And has already written
What is meant to be ok to me
Makes me feel ok

dr _ unk a//gain
ihavenoshame
,...sip you in,...
my love
my friend
Draw. A. Line.
~use ~a ~pen
& here we are
》》back agaIN
i know [the score]
^how  ^you ^^seep.in
you miss me now
right-up-until
you're 《《back with her
ssssslide right in
& i'll stand| by |
#encouraging

Khaamoshi jawab de deti hai
Jinpe alfaaz Nhi hote

Baatein unk bhi hoti
Jinka milna mukaddar mei nhi hota

i've long lived with a deutsche seem
within using this tongue,
abbreviating the differences...
succumb to the raven croack...
like an earthworm might to a sunlight....

seems i have been,
much agitated by the expected in
the rallying yewp
of the ones unearthed
as being untouched by closures of
crafting rome...

     de profundis clamavi
ad te, domine;
domine,
     exaudi vocem meam;

little 'elp the chance to live
a life....
       the little that is
begot from man's interval,
and you, who hear,
    are begot by
a defening of ears...
            who vouched to
make the "shy" grief of
jurisprudent song a:
                  mismatch.

only among a people who have
been acribed a history of rome,
to recant, to recount...

         such a fickle labour
to have to mind...
    who would have thought
to infusre ***** with a perfume
of a pear, if not a swede?!
i rest my case...

    drunk, almost dead,
is my most pristine
post-scriptum of seeing
a sunset with this,
english, of all available tongues...

i can't but hinder,
      with the fleshy,
            quasi-take
   on a proxy of imitating
the hummingbird...

                    tod-mit-deutsche!
because via german:
is how i want to unlearn
ever speaking: ęglisch -

to grüz: und gravel!
                         mit dies zunge!

have to travel a question further
to make a in vino veritas
market pleasure...
                    in terms of *****...

the **** drinking italians are
phlegm assorts
in our cognitive couldron...

                comma mother-******?!

        wir anruf es: schloß!

   i don't even know why i took up
a defence of: deutsche,
in a tongue,
        and with a background...
that technically shouldn't
             give me the allowance...

have to explain what's
readily given,
however unsatisfactory to
commence:
understanding of the analogue
akin to the common man;

i.e.: keep your gob-***** in
          the vicinity of the Ypres
trenches, mmm'kay, mr. O?

i too am scared of dying
and "remembering"
a globalist tomorrow,
  without, a, personal,
past, ecnompassing
a yesterday, within
the dimension of a dream
told to a lower, with, a:
                                         today.

didn't anyone ever tell the english
that having acquired
their tongue,
it's equivalent to speaking
a fickleness (wankelmut)?
            minor mood-swings
equipped with a postcard of
                               "sensibility"?!

veer inz: way-V'eh... V not: 'unk!
     Churchill calls them
the little cousins...
  others came up with
bilbio-kleptomaniacs
           given the selling
hard-on for meine: eine: kampf...

can't help but tickle
                   gērman when english
becomes too obnoxious,
             rekindling rotmantel...
even with a backing
of the: ingweren
                   or ingwers?!
      wer?!
                           die       irisch!
      doppelt-pints!             p.s. pint-erens?!
and that became my errand-swish: wish...
mention the Dubliners along the way...

absolutist sveedish?
    i asked for citrus flav.,
instead i had to dunk a pear
feuerwasser within the confines of
a delayed gulp...

why do sober people,
make it so, ever,
****** unavailable to make
drunk commentary
semi-sensible...
  while leaving them to make,
sober... herding procedures,
     a quintessential norm?

"<s>Both Wembley and Uefa could do with the final going smoothly. The last Uefa event here was the disastrous Euro 2020 final. The last two Champions League finals have been logistical nightmares, with that 2022 game in Paris fortunate to avoid deaths.

Both the Football Association and Uefa have taken all this in. Another outer perimeter is to be built, there are improved gates. The hope is everything goes smoothly.</s>"

                                    Miguel Delaney - the Independent

hours only hours before
the show
hours only hours
before
the show

                    there has been much planning
and as expected
poor execution
       or at least on the surface this air
of preparedness
and then none

the magic markers haven't been distributed
to ensure the tickets
are more than correct:
that they have been printed
on the right sort of paper
made by marker UV
or something...

             but also with the "case" of an Islamic
encroachment
into Europe
and how the lesser Ummah of the Islamic
world and there is no talk
of Pakistan being a third world
of the Islamic world
the people who propagate all this
scaremongering
and all this book burning
but even among Arabs a camel jockey

so i decided to embrace the changes
if my previous generations of folk
were under-appreciative of
the Judaic involvement
in: let us wander as far north
and pretend to repent
there is no repentance and not much else
but now i see how i can embrace
this shift
and this nudge
and i can finally agree:

among sayings and sayings upon
sayings
why suppose there is anything
wisdom in any of all the attempts
to steer man from path X
when his intentions were set by God
along path Y:
regardless of what man said unto man
man will still not be
dealing with:

a man's word is not worth more
than my willingness to explore
my own
and my own as that being: pitfals
failures and sizzling a sound not much
akin to sheering...

i don't think that "i" think anymore
and that makes perfect sense
for the simple pristine allocation
of words to a structure of a sentence
there can be sometimes the seeing
of a collapse of whatever might
have seen to be formerly impassable

as long as Martin is happy
with those two pools of water in his brain
where once dense
grey matter refrained from:
well to the end of my days
i scratched a vinyl
hatched a chicken
of an idea
since brain problems
are genetic in my lineage
maybe one trip to Amsterdam
to find some shrooms
to later walk into the flats
and sunshine i might:
should my mind be degenerate by then
ingest a hallucinogenic
and no longer feel a need to crave
pushing forward some agenda
it's not like i have a Quran to push
it's not like there's ambition involved

but if the intellectuals of Europe
are gladly not panicky about
the influx of the Muslim faith
not seen since the Ottoman's owned
all of the Balkans and Greece...
well: if we can be accommodated
into a faith that's unlike communism
and given that communism was
a Slavic endeavor and it failed
because of circumstances
that pitted the Germanic peoples of the continent
with their far fetched neighbors
neighbors no more
than the frequenters of the Airport of Dubai
then i do wonder

           what ill could come from teasing
the **** of Islam
when the apocryphal archeological unearthings
concerning Christianity are
not so willingly discussed or simply
dismissed just like
the Holocaust Deniers
and the Atom Bomb Deniers
might be the same denying
like these are not crucial writings and readings
that could allow for a revival away
from Synopsis -
if only people were willing to talk
about Jesus Christ in the tongue of the apocryphal
rather than banging their:

analogy i heard once
long ago...
should a grain of sand enter a horse's head
the horse will start ramming his head
into a brick wall "thinking" that might
get the irritable grain of sand from
his head...
  
   why then O people if you dare so
or wish so to be called
are you so anxious about not reading the
Apocrypha
and instead follow blindly within the confines
of the Synopsis -
which is just that...
a gesture of being aware of a text

O
               O
                              O

which is why i am teasing an embrace
toward Islam
given such a disinterest in the Nag Hammadi
library
imagine what could come if
some apocryphal texts concerning Muhammad
were saved and later burried
before the Mongol sacking of
the Library of Baghdad

             imagine: somewhere buried in now
Iran...
it's as if God is Truly Dead...
not simply: God is Dead
but rather: God is Truly Dead...
since such disinterest or outright hostility
toward the texts of St Thomas
were not given enough traction
and if they have been given traction now
by now i'm no longer interested
i'm looking into proselyte sensibilities
embracing the Islam were drinking alcohol
is permitted
and from the texts of al-Mas'udi that
is very probable
that they drank or rather to refrain from
drinking
is purposed for the narrative of:
from Dune
on camel and on the lackluster discovery
of...
O but the time will come
and all this writing will be ash
when there is no longer oil to burn
and at first it's only in the back of
some minds
before it becomes a reality in the back
of "our" minds
and then some excuse for breeding
geniuses
or is that really what is expected
some cult of the savior
because that's actually spoken of
openly that all can live their lives
until some genius reinvents
the purposes and utilities of... water!

   whether there is an Islamic invasion
of Europe whether Europe was
Christian, threatened by Islam
last time i checked we were pagans
and Christianity was sort of forced upon us
and sure as **** my Darwinistic impulses
steer me away from this religion of
petty sacrifices where genius comes
to die...

                     i feel less threatened having
embraced the path of the TAHWIL...
and not out of spite or intimidation
or fear
but out of a need to keep the mind at rest...
since the Christian apocryphal writings
were of no interest for the people
who ought to have been most interested
a current claim of taking interest
is no real wager to make me change
my mind...
at least Islam
unlike Judaism is somewhat all embracing...

O i'm pretty sure
there will be no embracing gesture of:
welcome to the "club"
therefore if this is a conversion then it is subversive
and not really a conversion
but rather a: mind accommodating
a mind

a wandering mind accommodating a
non wandering mind...

something to settle with: focus on...
Christianity came to Europe
just like Islam comes to Europe
and there's me thinking about relocating
to Hawaii...
so... rift: catch my drift?

             when living with the fringes
of existential expression
because van Gogh's sunflowers might
offend therefore dash canned tomato soup
all over the canvas
what of the artists in Bedlam
using tips of fingers as brushstrokes
and their own feces as paint?!

                        it's seems daft but under what
Dictatorial not...
will a potential President of the United States
like thinking politics or not talking
or writing:
i have no investment
but what makes him no dictator
i didn't say ****** i said a dictator
when the other dictator is a dictator
by a subtle following
i don't even know anymore
that's why when i accustomed myself
to wriggling in the lowercase
whenever a word, usually a name of a place
a time or a person appears
in uppercase
it all feels so crass...
         so: i'm not even going to bother myself
with the cosmopolitan busy bodies
of parties and drool and 'unk of Dr Ribbit...

thankfully no paper was wasted
when writing this
nor reading this
therefore my escape from the editorial hell
of... rejected upon testing readership
interest...
not rejected out of spite
simple economics
but i'm using a medium whereby
i can allow myself the same jovial don't-care
attitude as tabloid newspapers
allow themselves each day...

the UMRAH: not the HAJJ... squeeze some melons for the Muslims of Pakistan: wonder upon wonder: so anti-climatic when people move up in hierarchies, while i'm still stuck talking about the disparity of quest: between the UMRAH and the HAJJ. i'd love to see Rome, having seen Venice...

and a girl who loves stones
  and such big ***
but beside the big *** and watermelon ****
i guess that if i stop ******* her
i'll get to talk to her and that's like BARCELONA
      HIM HI HI HIM HIM anti-dementia...

i don't man: i'm getting bummed out
completely bummed out
by the focus on me this great yawning
void on the train
just managed to play the commuter
chess right
and sat down after standing up for
12h
and this guy
this ginger blonde 70 year old
drunk or pretending started talking politics
and religion
and he said
i had better chances of being
a priest than a politician
and then he uttered those words: pointing
at others on the carriage:
then to me:
you're a "good man"...

am i, a man?
i feel in this ******* revolution
i'm a mind in a jar
and an ego of a pickle
in *****
i feel unsafe talking my mind
in England
i'd feel less paranoid in China
and Russia
talking about nothing
and God respectively

i am actually scarred, mentally:
i feel unsafe with the BIG ****
BRIGADE
desecrating the Rainbow:
i've seen a rainbow arch above
a soft prison in Kauai
when i was leaving her
to then be reunited with her...

watched some French **** today
and...
well also took a **** and ****
simultaneously
then had a baptism
in the shower
the plumber ****** up the veins
of the hydro channels
a2 aq
aqua

bromance...
Qais
he sneezed and i said bless
you then he replied
with: thank you
i had another Pakistani
in the classroom
who stunted the universe
and the classroom
when upon sneezing
his ISLAM was STRONG
upon sneezing
BLESS YOU
no reply...

  the ISLAM is STRONG with this ONE
a Muhammad Salmaan Khan...
one ****- to another -stani
i don't get it

then my "manager" got my cognitive
wrong
i had a flick-switch
innuendo:

i abhor:
people glad with life
what did the devil say:
T.S. Elliott: juvenile Sylvia
Plath but not the former...
reading poetry depresses me
i get into this melancholic mood
like a member of
my family is drool and doom
O
roll!
rolling O: oooooooooo

i have no time for a typewriter
and being an all female
cast of cinematic casters...
no sugar, baby, no sugar,
i just thought about the trinity
of kissing you while
also ******* you

i felt bummed out about not working
a Pearl Jam shift
and the whole traffic cone
work hierarchy dynamic
became an inflated
Collective-Ego courier Da-Sein postage stamp
: stamped:

the work dynamic i asked
if Lisa was there
but instead Quebec Romeo
and Quebec Yankee:
were there:
but over the radio no Quebec Sue and
Bravo: Gravitas: blue:
zone:
              muddle in my brain:
hence enforcing the cryptic:

   YHWH cf. not vs. LLH

    A E                         A A

and little serpent: a - little - serpent

but i just spent £40 on a Green Day t-shirt
i was not supposed to be
the man listening
to the commuter drunk Dutch:
a male primary school teacher
met his wife
in Glastonbury
festival
have a picture
of the girl's friend taking a photograph
before he walked up and
chatted her up
the Q: uestioner:
math prodigy:
a data analyst
currently unemployed
looking to become an AIRPLANE PILOT
where has my middle leg
of the dream-moth
of middle class in England gone to?

cordon 11:
alley of the Zig Zag
i hate working Wembley
externally:
air of Nepotism
i'd feel safer in China and Russia
right now...
the dogs are barking
and the birds are safe
from all the serpents they once
were: dodo: transition ERASING
TRANSISTOR
UNIT
process: like electricity:

insomnia bound daydreaming
of the purpose of night
to sleep

let me just catch the rhythm
again: no classical no flutes
air benders
just music working around a heart-beat...

taxidermy - oh wow! the correct
spelling: but what was the incorrect spelling?
daxidermi_                    maybe...

habibi UNK'L GANDU
i just want peace
i just want peace
but i know there will be a great upheaval
in that Classical Liberal Leftism
has failed
and it's so miserable to watch
a second
best hide the vowels?

nd t's msrbl wtch... that: took concentration
can speed up the process
in Hebrew among the gods
given that people
speak more two animals
than they do
to their own imaginings:
but were the gods ever so denegrated
desecrated in the Temple of Dyslexia
and girls learning to speak Arabic
but not understanding Arabic

i've only watched 2 matches from the Euros...
maybe i can get the athletes on my side:
project: hip: anti-hippy
i am sad because i bought a Green Day
t-shirt
i was supposed to buy a Pearl Jam
t-shirt for Martin, St. sort of cucumber
and amnesia
like all *** is gone
and there is only conversation:
how we lusted:
wasted:
wanted: waged wars
WARC and WARX
these crucifix incursions:

and look where that left us:
          
   BUT DO YOU N'TAKE
INSTRUCTIONS:
it's a ****** job i told the three black
youths:
i'm not rummaging: yes i am:
a sketch pad...
but i couldn't just:

help me out: dark cloud...

        some powerful with mind
in bed
better than sunshine and surf
and tongue on the glee tempting sea
all rot in sun and skin
performance ******...
  like people junkies esp young girls
i just don't under-
-stand
why get druggie with little peeps
but somehow discourage Reyla
from the bloom...

                        got bummed for buying
the Green Day t-shirt...
i don't even like then
but it had the dates of touring
and i was working
that terrible Green blacker
than the greenest courget
and i was talking to this West African
and about slavery
and island vs city life
and the unavailability of reference
cursors:
with people left behind:
scared of the world:
and STASIS and TIME

           and like i came over when i was 8
year old and
didn't know a tooth from tongue
in terms of speech:
ridiculed for P'UH M'AH
instead of PYOO M'AH...
and that still rubs when someone's
a no one telling you their yours of
the usage of tongue:

that: sends me: SKYROCKETING
that **** makes me summon DEMONS!
then i want as much
carnage in the world
to counteract the Buddhist perfection:
of concerning oneself
with the Oceans
Mountains
Deserts....

            forests and plateaus...
the wheat that is...
         are not my concern: a concern for the people:

Lyndon: you got the timing wrong!
i was about to take down
those rucksacks
when you weren't supposed to:
do a walk around...

    i just wanted to amass at least three
so that people would get "the idea":

prophets of June:
Qais reminded me
something i forgot:

Judaism is a religion of cosmopolitans
probably high achieving couples,
Christianity a religion of females
Islam a religion of males
Atheism and Buddhism
a religion of Eunuchs

i don't like what i write
i don't like what sometimes passes
through me: but like digestion
until improved the improvised
lactose intolerant
then...                        mmm'heh'heh...

       ­      to the echo of demons
gearing up for war...
              only war will salvage me
in the hyper-conscious realization
that life:
is:

                                       SPECIAL:
spatial: spazz:            

                                          **
­
leverage the time-spatial
and the space-temporal...

              as a coin flicker on the kicked
by thumb to flick and late fate:
decide: no rigid dualism:

just rigid, random: chance: fate
an unwilling: luck.

would have never thought that the gods became: also, so bored: with the intelligence of human life, that they would resort to being the Lesser Privy: and settle for gambling: so bored thus current upsurge of Psy Hack Understudy like the deviation from breeding Lawyers: this the breeding ground for Poetic Anti Journalistic Efforts...
           could it please be reminded:
not to look at me so weirdly:
when i'm at work
because i do my work elsewhere
and no manner or matter or hierarchy will
ever, disrupt: my origins of CONCERN:
which, unlike Heidegger: i mumble
because: covertly:

        NOT, CONTEMPT:
CONCERN:
        that's the whereabouts:
whoever thought Heidegger was X...
here's my: ******* nein nein nein
ADOLF ****** HEIDEGGER
SEIG HEIL!
i wil not live, under, the pressures,
of a, pseudo-democratic: GAY: FEAR!
PRIDE: up your ***...
and your *** alone...

               I WILL LIVE IN PEACE
AND QUIET
UNDER GOD AND NOTHING

i will live in peace in China
and in Russia
but i: will not!
live with peace in my heart!
in the western world-culture: ETC!
i have had...

                         ...enough.