In my heart,
There is an echo,
A silent ache,
A yearning that whispers in the shadows of my soul.
Every breath I take and every step I make resonates with the absence of your presence
—A void that leaves me feeling incomplete.
I live as though I have missing limbs due to my actions-
Because part of me is missing now that you’re gone.
I am reaching out
—In the darkness—
For a touch that lingers only in memory.
I find myself lost in reverie,
Adrift in the fragments of memories that linger like wisps of smoke in the air.
The echo of your laughter dances through my mind.
It's a melody that tugs at the strings of my heart;
Like the delicate strumming of a harp.
Cupid himself could not recreate such a sound,
For it was born from the depths of our intertwined souls,
A symphonic resonance that echoed through the very fabric of our being.
And no voice could ever express the way you loved me,
For your love was a language spoken in the silent moments,
In the way your eyes held mine and understood the unspoken words that lingered between us.
My soul is uncomfortable with the way you are no longer with me,
accompanied by the void that stretches between us like an unbridgeable chasm.
The weight of your absence is a haunting emptiness that lingers in the spaces you used to fill.
The silence is a deafening reminder of the echoes of our love,
Now shattered into fragments of my regret and longing.
I carry the burden of knowing that it was my actions that led to our downfall,
My mistakes that tore us apart.
And now I trace the lines of my palms,
Seeking solace in the familiar touch that once intertwined with mine.
I know that nothing I do or say can mend the broken pieces of our love
-And nothing can resurrect the passion that once burned between us.
The echo of our lost connection reverberates through my being,
A lament for the love that was lost to the winds of time.
(And I know you never will,
But)
If you were to pose the question about my well-being,
I would say:
“I carry on.”
But the thing is,
I navigate the world with an arrhythmic heart,
-that somehow beats to the rhythm of your name-
Embracing the bittersweet melody of our once-shared experiences.
Each breath I take is tinged with the ghost of your scent,
A haunting presence that lingers in the spaces between us.
Now I bite the skin off my lips,
Just as you did-
And I simply can't help but believe that it's a silent tribute to the love that still resonates in the chambers of my soul,
A testament to a bond that time and distance cannot erase.
Yet,
I cannot utter the words "I'm sorry".
It lingers on the edge of my tongue,
Like a fragile whisper carried away by the wind,
Remaining unspoken.
And even if I were to utter the words I wish to say to you,
They would dissolve into the void between us,
Unheard and unnoticed.
It's not that you refrain from listening,
You are unaware of what I long to express to you because the words lingering in the silence will never escape my lips.
I will forever hold them captive.
My apologies,
emotions,
And the secretive feelings I retain,
have been shouted at you in a silent uproar within my mind.
A war of regret and deep yearning rages within me,
Reverberating through the very depths of my soul like a chorus of thunderclaps,
Each echo amplifies the pain of what could have been.
And I’m not gonna say that I love you.
I only whisper those secrets to the wind,
Sharing the tender truth that resonates deeply within the vast corridors of my being.
For in the sanctuary of my hidden emotions,
The essence of my vulnerability for you remains veiled from the world.
My feelings are a sacred treasure, Reserved only for the depths of my existence.
I know that if I admit it to anyone,
I will be shunned.
Everyone here knows what I’ve done.
That is why I write only to myself and strangers on a browser website.
Because I know this will not be repeated.
Because I know that my secret is safer with a stranger.
Because I can no longer love you out loud.
Because I’m not supposed to feel this way.
And I'm sorry.
