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XxX Sep 2015
septemeber 2014 i told my dad i didnt want to be alive anymore
in our kitchen, we sat on the floor, he held me and through his tears he told me he never wants to lose me
i think about this all the time
october 2014 my 2 year old brother saw my cuts and scars
he brings me bandaids all the time
novemeber 2014 my mom walked in on my 6th suicide attempt
we stayed up all night driving around, talking about how much i wanted to end my life
she asks me every day how i'm feeling now
december 2014 my step dad found sleeping pills i had been purchasing and saving for 6 weeks
he didnt cry when his only son was born but he couldnt even breathe when he found my pills and confronted me about it
janurary 2015 my step mom drove my to the er when she found my almost dead in the shower
she didnt sleep for 3 days while she and my mom stayed at the hospital with me
feburary 2015 my mom found my journal of suicide notes
there was over 100 notes
march 2015 my grandparents began noticing how bad i was getting
my grandmother stayed at our house during march break with me
april 2015 i saw my favourite band who has helped me through a lot of tough times
i got their lyrics on my body forever to remind me that i'm not my illness
may 2015 my bestfriend and i made a promise to each other to remain self harm free
we promised to help eachother get through our illnesses
june 2015 she was in the hospital for trying to **** herself
i knew i had to stay strong for the both of us
july 2015 i started to work on myself
i started to notice the beauty in things again
i forgot how much i loved the rain
how much i loved flowers
how much i cared about nature and the planet
i forgot how much i loved life
august 2015 i started to plan for the future
i started thinking about 10 years down the road
september 2015 i'm not where i want to be yet, but im so proud of how far i've come
im proud of myself
this is a thing about my life
Nina McNally Sep 2013
Day- Septemeber 15, 2013 Time- 11:46am
When you were born
With those BIG blue eyes
Looking up at your mommy and daddy
With that cute little button nose like your daddy
And you're cute little ears like your mommy
You're so much like your mommy and daddy
And yet so much different in so many ways
We'll just have to wait and see! ❤
7lbs 2oz. and 20inches
You're such a cute little GIRL
Born into a big family
Who will always be there for you
And PROTECT you
And you're COUSINS, Mikey & Connor, will be there for you, too
With LOVE & CARING
So all I have left to say, baby girl,
*"Welcome to the world and the family, Avery!
You're gonna do great things!
WE LOVE YOU!"
©9/2013
McNally/Flanders, Inc.
I have been blessed three times in my life,
I had three wonderful soul-mates
that loved me and knew when I needed them.

Sometimes one only finds one soul-mate throughout their live,
but I had three that were there for me and I love each of them
with all my life.

Each were special to me, and different in his own way,
but they loved me for who and what I am and that
was important to me as a person.

One by one the Lord called each of them home,
When he did this I felt myself being all alone,

My tears flowed like rivers down my cheeks,
This is because I knew it would be a long time
before we would ever see each other again.

Each died a tragic death, and I saw put to rest,
but I haven't seen any rest since they have died
just endless tears and depression.

Sometimes when I still and I listen very hard,
I can hear each of them call out to me to please
go on.

I know in my heart that they are all watching over me
from up above and each of them are singing a celestial song.

In Loving Memory of:
Donald S. Martino
October 31, 1934- November 4, 1996
John Richard David Werdell
March 1, 1950- December 3, 2002
Frank A. Kratochvil
Septemeber 8, 1948- January 28, 2008

Gone but never forgotten but alway loved.
anomaly Sep 2020
its been a while since I've last spoken
within the last 9 months of 2020
I've been betrayed, lied to, and heart broken
how ironic for a heart to keep breaking
after already being damaged
its when false hope makes you believe you've been bandaged
ace of cups is what my future sees
new beginnings aren't meant to not be scary
can't dwell on a past that can't be adjusted
have to put faith into unknown, and trust it

changes in septemeber

— The End —