Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
katewinslet Nov 2015
Dies ist ein unfairen Anliegen , wie erwartet , aber es ist sicherlich wirklich braucht, um sein erkundigte angewiesen. Moderne Tages Option : Was ist drastisch falsch mit Hilfe klinischen Profis werde ihr Heil Ausbildung ! Was ist in der falschen über klinischen Schulbildung ? Für eine einzige Sache , gibt es eine einfache namhaften helping Prozedur issuing Ärzte ( sie haben erwies sich Praktikanten) Tages Pläne , so dass sie erwerben keine nap vierundzwanzig für Sie 34 Stunden . Ihre Lebensstil kann dacht , bewusst , um die eigentliche Schüler-Arzt direkt in ein Zustand wenig Schlaf für die emotional aufgeladen Funktion erfahren , wie er kann ' unter ständige Sorge . In Das möglicherweise gewinnen eine Menge von , sondern ein mehr real suchen Grund diese Aktion ist immer, Gehirnwäsche a jüngeren Praktikanten. Männer und Frauen, die Wunsch Ende wird Fachkräfte des Gesundheitswesens kann , Anfang stimulated wegen die wirklich Die besten Konzepte with uns auf aktivieren mit Hilfe . Sie Übrigen wissen, dass Es gibt Massen in zugeordnet components konstruieren y wird nicht dennoch ein Verständnis für Samsung Galaxy S6 Kante. So , sie auch sein mögen wollen to wissen neben fertig Antworten .

Wenn sie übermüdeten werden die perfect Zeitraum ihnen beizubringen, wie umrissen mit etliche Dozenten . Sie nicht über die muscular Stärke sicherstellen, dass Sie einverstanden - es nur Genießen Wissen unter Hypnose . Es 'funktioniert' Bedeutung sie herauszufinden Fakten integriert in zu , trotzdem Vorgehensweise umgeht fast jede zerstören personen Intelligenz . Bei jeder übermüdeten denken die eigentliche intern nehmen die eigentliche false datum die in der Regel '60 Milligramm zum Vitamin C täglich wird vielleicht alle die Tatsache, dass any Person wirklich braucht, und dass er bekommen könnte es wieder mit die Ernährung Einbauten Das ist definitiv ein unwahr datum , also auch der intern die tatsächlich hört wenn Achtunddreißig viele Stunden mit einbezogen zugeordnet sicherlich keine schlafen ist unglaublich Planung bis nehmen tun es definitiv . Auf die gleiche Weise , er akzeptieren a massive Menge andere Informationen , in Bezug auf Drogen , medizinische Verfahren , oder vielleicht medizinische verwandte Ethik . Healthcare professionelle . Bok, als Blei-Designer mit einbezogen Stanford Hochschulwesen , verharmlost a Stanford Medical School ,

dass angegebenen der medizinisch-technische Bildungshinter, dass gesundheitsbezogenen college student devoted weniger als 5% aller this Klassenzimmer ein Individuum Zeitraum am drei topics von 'präventive Medizin , Essen Plan und gesundheitsbezogenen Integrität halben Zoll Trotzdem in diese erhalten winzige Vorlaufzeit , , dass sie 'lernen' Unwahrheiten. Zu den Benachrichtigung Daten gespeichert für Ihre Menge alle der Lehrzeit. Der spezifischen Tutoren in a Dermatologen Lehr gibt nichts oben Mann oder eine Frau Praktikanten - - es sein kann, Mund Informationen von empfangenen die besondere Healthcare übermüdeten Heil Studenten Samsung galaxy s6 edge+ 64GB. Neues . Scott S . Mendelsohn war eigentlich ein gemeinsames Besucher kleine jede Nacht den Äther zeigen in der Vergangenheit , und sogar erwähnten über diese häufig . Er möglicherweise encouraged als a Gesundheit Lernenden dass versuchten erarbeiten mäßig 'unabhängigen Denkens' während seiner Lehr wäre wahrscheinlich unterwegs . Medical instances häufig Fragen Sie nach schnell preferences, und das ist nicht genügend Platz a great newbie und dann unerfahrene Heilpraktiker . Was bedeutet , diese small Praktikanten halten Sie sich an die live in der Senior , fähiger Praktikanten nicht zu erwähnen, Fachkräfte des Gesundheitswesens. Wenn your frische intern ist eigentlich übermüdeten, er ' ll gehen zusammen mit robotically . Das Letztere Henry s . Mendelsohn eingereicht der Ausdruck 'iatrogenocide' während seiner feinsten Händler , Confessions Gesundheitspflege Klinische Heretic. Die Bedeutung , nicht überraschend , sein könnte Vergehens Durch den Arzt , Nutzung it ,

Regel die departure with Gesamt Kultur Typen als Folge mein Arzt. I legen nahe, dass Schlafentzug, zB Gehirnwäsche, häufig a zweck education Praxis in Ihrer medical Schulen , , wenn es darum geht, Implantieren rote Überzeugung für die Qualität Medikamente . Ein Jahrzehnt gerade nach med schule, wobei Studium Arzt , es ist immer Das Ausbildung das ist den Kern with eine individuelle automatic Flughafenterminal jeglicher Art von einige Tipps 'alternative Gesundheitswesen Ins Die normale Arzt passiert zu sein, Gehirnwäsche , wunderbaren merk great Ziel , geeignet Diener Haltung Wie dem auch sei gedankenlose und sogar nicht wert was diese Einzel glaubt, dass wirklich. Es ist eine gute Zuschreibung in Bezug auf neuronalen Reinigung draußen , und dann die Element davon Stecker Schlafentzug Wahl techniques Sie feststellen hier | auf diesen Link | zu den Informationen} Günstige Samsung Galaxy S6.
Relate Articles:
http://samsungphone.thendvr.com/tag/samsung-galaxy
Günstige Samsung Galaxy S6,Samsung galaxy s6 edge+ 64GB,Samsung Galaxy S6 Kante
Er will nichts und niemand
bis auf seine liebliche Verlobte.
Er möchte ja nichts mehr
als mit ihr Liebe zu machen.

Sie will nichts und niemand
bis auf ihren vermisste Verlobte.
Sie hat keine Lust je länger zu warten
um wieder so nah zu ihm zu sein.

Die Schöne seines Lebens
ist so weit weg gewesen,
doch als ihre Lippen aufeinander prallen,
jede schlimme Dinge werden weg fallen.

Wann diese jugendliche Lieber
wieder zusammen sind,
nichts wird sie trennen
ausser ihre Haut und Schweiß.

Sie werden ja zusammen schlafen,
doch wird wenig Schlaf bekommen;
sie lieben einander weit zu viel
die letzte Monaten gelitten zu haben  
ohne solchem vollständige Ausgleich.
Lovers like to make Love
-
He wants nothing and no one
save for his lovely Fiancee.
He would like nothing more
than to make love with her.

She wants nothing and no one
save for her missing Fiance.
She has no desire to wait any longer
to be so close to him again.

The Beauty of his Life
has been so far away,
but when their lips collide,
every bad thing will fall away.

When these youthful Lovers
finally are together again,
nothing shall separate them
except their skin and sweat.

They will indeed sleep together,
though little sleep will be had;
they love each other far too much
to have suffered the last Months
without such thorough compensation.
Lucky Queue May 2013
Ich will frei sein
Ich will mit Vogel fliegen
Ich will die Sterne küssen
Ich will Gedicht über alles schreiben
Ich will mit die Engeln leben
Aber kann ich nur jetzt schlafen
Aber werde ich nur jetzt traümen

I want to be free
I want to fly with birds
I want to kiss the stars
I want to write poems about everthing
I want to live with the angels
But I can only sleep now
But I will only dream now
[Please scroll down for an English translation.]

Keine Hoffnung toter Träume:
Ich dreh mich nicht mehr um mich selbst.
Ich lebe zwischen Streichhölzern
Und glaubte, mir gehört die Welt

Warum soll ich die Wunden lecken,
Die Zeichen meines Lebens sind?
Ich denke oft an stille Post –
Vielleicht hörst Du mir doch mal zu.

Und abends geht die Sonne auf,
Weil ich es will in meinem Traum.
Antworten sind Gift für Seelen,
Weil die Fragen sie erdrücken.

Denkst Du oft an mich beim Schlafen?
Ich weiß nicht, ob das wichtig ist.
Ich bereue nur, Dich nie gefragt zu haben:
Vermißt Du eigentlich Spanien?
___________
ENGLISH TRANSLATION:

No hope of dead dreams:
I do not revolve about myself any longer.
I live among matches
And presumed the world belonged to me.

Why should I lick the wounds
That are marks of my life?
I often think of Chinese whispers –
Perhaps you will listen to me once.

And in the evening, the sun rises
Because I want it so in my dream.
Answers are venomous to souls,
Since questions stifle them.

Do you think of me often in your sleep?
I do not know whether it matters.
I only regret never to have asked you:
Do you ever miss Spain?
Lucky Queue May 2013
Steh auf drache
Du kannst stark sein
Du sollst froh sein
Ich werde die Sonne scheinen für dich machen
Ich werde für dich und mich singen
Und werden wir unter den Himmel schlafen.

Stand up dragon.
You can be strong.
You should be happy.
I will make the sun shine for you.
I will sing for you and me.
And we will sleep under the heavens.
If anyone can help me write this in german better, please do! For my friend
A Henslo Oct 2019
Got a tender kiss and a nighty-nite
Watched my mother dim the light
Enjoyed the warmth of my bed
Didn't need no angels yet
Made it safely through the night

What promise holds the nightly sky?
Venus, Virgo, Libra, Mars
Odd angelic shooting stars
How many do I need to die?
Who's taking care at my goodbye?
"Abends, will ich schlafen gehn", title of a traditonal German bedtime prayer from "Des Knaben Wunderhorn" that made it into "Hansel und Gretel" (1891), fairy-tale opera by Engelbert Humperdinck with lyrics by his sister Adelheid Wette.

ABENDS, WILL ICH SCHLAFEN GEHN

Abends, will ich schlafen gehn,
vierzehn Engel um mich stehn:
zwei zu meinen Häupten,
zwei zu meinen Füßen,
zwei zu meiner Rechten,
zwei zu meiner Linken,
zweie die mich decken,
zweie die mich wecken,
zweie die mich weisen
zu Himmels Paradeisen.
Ich brenne auf dich zu ficken;
       Tja, hätte Lust auf dich zu steigen,
ich brenne darauf dein nackter Korper gegen meinen:
           Ich brenne noch mit dir zu schlafen.

You are my itch,
I am bewitched.

Wenn ich so ehrlich sein könnte:
hab ich große Lust
dich die ganze Nacht zu ficken.

Ich will dass du schreist;
ich will dass du kommst,
meinetwegen.
Poetry at it's finest.
Warten,
in einem fremden Raum.
Ungewohnte Geräusche.
Unangenehme Gerüche.
Die Anwesenheit einer Fremden im Bett nebenan,
auch wartend,
auch nicht schlafen könnend.
Wie kalter Honig zieht sich die Zeit.
Der Wunsch nach dem Ende der Nacht
begegnet der Angst vor dem Morgengrauen.
Alles sträubt sich.
Die Augen brennen vor Müdigkeit.
Die Matratze zwingt den Muskeln ihre Härte auf.
Was alles sein wird oder sein könnte am morgigen Tag,
taucht auf und ab,
wie ein Ball wogend auf dem Meer.
Der Versuch, alles auszublenden;
die fremde Umgebung,
die fremden Geräusche,
die fremden Gerüche,
die Fremde.
Abtauchen in eine andere Welt;
in meine Welt,
meine Gedanken,
mein Denken.
Müdigkeit übermannt mich.
Schlaf beendet das
Warten.
Mateuš Conrad May 2022
knackered... absolutely knackered... i wish i did yesterday's
shift at the London stadium...
i've built up an implosive furore with the crowd...
i just look at them: hmm... look pretty excited
but at the same time content...

    i can't believe it... since starting this... rather menial
job... i've been referencing it like mad...
i really shouldn't... i remember days when i was
sitting in my ivory tower touching on subjects
like the Katakana... with so much free time on my hands
i'd explore...
       i'd try something akin to Miroslav Holub...
in all earnest? i was never much of a poetry reader...
but if i were to compare Miroslav Holub with another
Czech: a Milan Kundera... well...
Kundera "stole" my youth... Holub cemented
my early adulthood...

          i'm sort of envious that i don't write like him...
you're almost always envious of the people
who don't have much of a readership...
              i could never be envious of Stephen King...
he figured out a method... a structure...
mind you: i never read a single Stephen King book...
not that i'm being pretentious...
i just didn't feel the need to read him...
       the whole horror genre is... limited for me...
horror needs to be visual...
   i can't be scared of text... via my imagination...
it's different, though...
   i once had an ******* reading some Marquis
de Sade... which might tell you a lot...

        i'm writing about work that i think is...
not really work... so what did i do with my day off?
i ****** off on my bicycle for about 4 hours...
yes... i know... 60+ kilometres in 4 hours is not
good enough... but i did stop off to drink a bottle
of cider and buy some Turkish bread for this
greedy dish... 400g of beef can disappear in one
sitting when shared between three people...

      i'm pretty sure surgeons don't write about their work...
but this Czech immunologist somehow did...
maybe that's why he's so under-read...
he was an immunologist foremost...
it's almost as if people don't take his poetry
seriously because of that...
                but either him or Kundera...
the former...

                    i don't even think i'm working:
oh... i'm pretty sure i was working when working as a roofer...
manual labour can do a work of miracles...
at least you don't need to become a gym hamster...
bunny... whatever you want to call it...
all that physical potential... wasted on... treadmills...
if at least those treadmill runners could be
the ones that generate energy... that's stored...
like a watermill...
               you know... generate enough energy
to power the lighting in the gym...
maybe someone should invent a treadmill that
allows these people exercising to do something
useful...

60+km in 4h... it's not good... but then again i did
cycle into central London...
   past the houses of Parliament...
May 1st... so a lot of the ****** protests...
but pretty tame...
            traffic lights... terrible traffic...
i could have probably put in an extra 20km in those
four hours if i cycled out of London...
but i'm a curious creature... plus... i said to myself...
nature... or... "nature":
yes... i want to cycle into central London
to look at some girls... where's the best place
to spot some girls? Brick Lane...
                Oxford Street...
    
   imagine my disbelief... there aren't that many...
that might attract your attention...
i tried... didn't find any... well i did find the opposite
***... but... there was nothing curious about
any of them... they all looked like tourists...
i hate tourists... well... i don't hate tourists...
only today i was speaking to this Danish guy...
who found the English very friendly...
which probably implies that he wasn't talking
to an English man... because: i'm sure as **** am not one...

but i did cycle into central London
to look at some ***...
                eh... it's sometimes worth it...
but all the under-read poets are the ones i am most
jealous of... such style... such grace...
don't even mention... Maya Angelou to me...
please don't... i've been keeping a KLEX...
in my **** for an entire day...

what's a KLEX?! it's a ****... with remnants
of a ****... that... when properly treated... when having
sat down on the throne of thrones...
explodes into an "******" of untangled intestines
that also gives you an *******...
woke up in the morning... had a ****'s play in three
parts... the 4th part... i kept for the entire day...
the KLEX...
              of my god... the glorious agony of walking
home from Romford station... trying to **** in the far
with the ****... meditating on torso muscles...
is this what **** *** feels like? you get the shivers?
the sweats?
    the agony... i've already emptied myself
in the morning... all i have is a **** and some shotgun
**** in me... **** ******* it in...
it's trying to get out! **** ******* it in!
it's trying to get out!
    i get home... haplessly undress... take my socks off...
sit on the toilet...
                                      BOOM!

i just dropped one on Hiroshima...
          because it's unlike the slithering sensation
of a serpent when it feels... really smooth...
when you've eaten the right sort of food and it has
become properly digested and...
i've kept this one hidden for an entire day...
if my **** had a tongue, while walking...
it felt like licking ice... can you imagine?

mein gott... the relief... better than ***...
for a while i was of the mindset... **** it... pull down your
trousers... you have tissues in your pocket...
crouch... on a piece of grass and do your ****...
no no... the agony first... walking just agitated the ****
more... more agony... wait for the release...

- seriously though? why would i even entertain some
some high-brow topics?!
the time's not right... i have cat peacefully sleeping
in my bed... i have a ******* sending me selfies of herself
indicating she misses me...

one thing amazed me today... i've found out about this
already, from my grandmother...
she liked watching me eat...
               fair enough: because i ate as someone who,
in the words of Socrates: ate to live...
rather than live to eat...
                    
after coming back from the Putney Bridge shift...
i only had a bagel with scrambled eggs and some bacon
for breakfast... wolf! fenrir! i sometimes "misplace"
actual hunger for ****** desire... all of a sudden...
no... these are not beer goggles...
they're hunger goggles... every woman is
attractive... in my head i sometimes do a few revisions:
like my grandfather used to say...
no woman is unattractive... some are just neglected...

oh so ******* true...
   no woman is unattractive... some are just neglected...
that's so ******* true...
i get hungry... i get tired... i become ***** as...
don't know.. my face becomes the following:
my mouth becomes the eye of a Cyclops...
while my eyes become two mouths of Orthrus...

but that's what's something amazing when eating
alone in public... you bring your household habits into
the fore... for everyone to see...
you're not eating with your mouth open...
you're not watching anything beside the food...
you wipe your mouth and finger generously...

the look on the chicken shack "restaurant" personnel...
before and after...
what did i order? the classical box...
two pieces of chicken... fries...
can i eat in? sure you can...
i'm not into processed burger fillets... i need...

    ich bedarf knochen mit "mein" huhn!
i need nones with "my" chicken!

lightened faces... once they saw me dissect
that chicken thigh and leg...
KNIRSCHEN... i.e. CRUNCH...
hmm... some bones...
cartilage? no... bone...
       knorpel oder knochen?!
does it even ******* matter?!
   let's eat...
        
              it's when i started biting into the bone
marrow... of the chicken legs...
no... i wasn't wasting any of it...
none of this is waste... hands shaking...
i wish i was drunk...
     i was just hungry... it's as if Eid passed me by
without the proper sort of impromptu
to stop...
                  i might as well licked my finger tips...
but the look on those guys behind the counter
serving this chicken...
yes, me too... i'm glad you washed your hands...
before serving me this dish...

why did my grandmother find it important
to find me in that "80 to 20%" attractive
eating something?
            maybe it's the Socratic methodology...
i eat to live... i don't live to eat...

this isn't work... this is a joke of work...
            work sets you free:
arbeit macht frei: conjured up like sometimes
from an ancient textbook...
since no conjunctions...
since no pronouns...
  sometimes from a: how Latin used to be
spoken.. maybe the ancient Latins did use
pronouns and conjunctions...
but... didn't... when writing?!

                  i only do it to get out out the house...
   you start cleaning the chicken bones from all
the muscle... then you bite into the marrow...
obviously the chicken shop owners will look
at at you with a degree of glee...
look! he didn't waste anytthing!
just the potato chips!
                            
i need sleep...  beste zu schlafen:
                         mal als sie ar...
                            
eis ist nein schnee!
               licht ist nein farbe!
mann ist nein affe!
              
                                 freiheit ist nein: arbeit!
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2022
whenever uneasy i have to escape into the deutsche zunge...
i could escape into *****... but i rather not...

among shadows and beasts...
i bellow a whimper... a sigh of relief...
among shadows and beasts...
i lay my head upon a stone...
in the darkest of night... darker than any
possible revitalizing sleep...
        
       in my night of nights...
                   among shadows, beasts, echoes...
i find my hand tricking me with "speaking"...
as i find my tongue, also, tricking me...
with licking ice...
                 as i also find my eye glued to
grieving with a blinking imitation of sight...
my ears are allowing my brain to dance...
because i married the four winds
and became: focus... i became praxis...
the ad hoc...

                what a painful experience for anyone
to supplement any other,
of the settled crown of all things unsettling...
what little bores become great
obstructions... what i feel when drunk:
stale... adherence to sober intellect is
such an empty quest...
                me? i feel i'm being a boor...
being sober...
          i need to be hindered...
somehow...
                    
FAUN: alba II...
         now i don't feel like writing in dojcz...

unter schatten und biester...
ich brüllen ein wimmern...
ein seufzen von hilfe...
     mein hertz kann splitter...
       und: es muss!
             ich kann nicht liebe aber
                        eine sein!      

all that is night is: calm!
           alle das ist nacht ist: ruhe! das ist mich!

ich legen mein kopf auf
ein stein wie ein blutegel...
    blood-draining concentration...
gravity+...
                im (die) am dunkelsten... nacht...
dunkler als alle möglich
                                revitalisierend schlafen...

my hope: for the whiteness of
the skull that's the moon and his half...
and his innermost fullness...

mein hoffnung: für die weiße von die totenkopf
das is die mond und seine halb...
und seine innerste vollständigkeit:

gravitating toward: scarce: by dictate of
orbit...
  this height of the summer months are
impossible for me!

    unmöglich für mich!

MAGER?! this world will be inherited
by Arabs... Asians and Africans...
i don't want to live in this world...
     i plan... to not live in it...
                       i'm ******* off...
but? i'm planning to **** as many Turkish girls as possible...
Turkish... ****-     + -stani...
     Sari donning willing to send you nudes
without actually meeting up with them...
i guess you'd classify me as a ****-boy...

w DOJCZ: IM DEUTSCHE...
in German...
                     i'm out...
better ******* playing Blackjack than
playing Poker... Blackjack was always more fun...
oh look... **** me... no Zeppelins...
a more cleverly orchestrated "take-over"...
a "take-over" that also required the entire
world to come and... ahem... "have a look"...

it lasted longer than i expected...
it's those revealing eyes of a "Judas" / Brutus...
they're looking elsewhere...
forward... you're orientating yourself concerning
a newly established fathoming of a circle...
but her eyes speak: STRAIGHT LINE...
i'm moving on...
    really? as a *******? there's someone...
ahem... "behind" me?
              someone willing to perform oral ***
on you?
cling your arms... while ******* on a well performed
oyster squeezed... mmm... mmm...

really?! i'm not the Jack the Ripper type...
i don't believe in hierarchies...
but i do believe in the hierarchy of giving pleasure per se...
you go against that...
we're having to experience problems...
why would i go against my way
to perform oral *** on a *******...
give her an ******...
to later receive arguments: oh... maybe...
this that... and other...
she wanted to go on a hotel date with me...
**** me for free...

that's when she refrained from the supposition...
that's when i decided to have a *******...
**** it... i'm not: WAITING!
come to think of it... i had to check...
threesomes are unlike pornographic ventures...
i could only summon a hand-job and
being ****** off into the other girls cleavage...
no... two women at the same time
is too distracting...
you need chemicals to give you a split awareness...

personally?! i abhorred ******* two girls
at the same time...
you're sort of ultra-schizophrenic... pulsating wrong...
you're stroking a cat
while... attempting to attach a leash to a dog...
it's ******* wrong: in the ******* most sense
of ******* sense of wrong...
sure... most men lie:
oh... i managed to **** two girls at the same time...
and?!

i had problems... dictating what's the grandest allure
of attention for simply one...
because?! that's what was missing!
i want one! i was like Solomon with Queen Sheba!
i just wanted one!
but i guess Solomon was lucky... paradoxically...
i try to laugh... imagining...
King David and that only Psalm he would ever write...
so? no more constipated creativity...
or just... sitting one's *** on laurels?!
what then?!

             the impossibility to stop writing the impossibility
of the possibility of: oops! wasps! ****!
octopi! ****! giraffes! drunk geniuses!
hippos! Greenland blind sharks! dolphins!
             Kosher salt... Kashmiri chilli powder...
cumin... ******... i.e. poppy-seeds...
                                     big Pharmaceutical Kicks & Kings...
music! silence! a Somali pirates' smile...
a European 20s girl psychotic self-importance...
glass! windows! winter and her winds!
lollies... and lilies...
lilac and lavender! purple and all that's auburn...
the history of perfecting making mistakes!

for the love of dreaming about teeth!
last few dreams that's what i only dreamed about:
teeth!
either chattering... jaw-line or
standing proud like Colossus of Rhodes!
Mateuš Conrad Jun 2022
what i've learnt about bands... say, they're headlining over
two days at one venue...
on the first day they play all their major hits...
it feels a lot like a struggle: i struggled to not yawn
even though i shouldn't have...
sure... they played all their best songs...
                  Scar Tissue, Under the Bridge...
among others... but the whole flow of the set-list felt
disjointed...
           the crowd felt too fresh...
                 and sure: on the first day the venue was sold out...
if i wasn't working i don't think i could appreciate
a back-to-back spectacle by the same band:
no... i wouldn't be stupid enough to buy tickets
for two consecutive days...
     isn't it enough that i ****** up my knees, feet and back
earned over £400... spent £35 on a t-shirt
and bought myself lunch: the best steak & potato
pasties in town?
no... i wouldn't have bought tickets for yesterday
and today... i would have thought like most people might
think: they're going to play the same songs...
nope... bands with a big enough oeuvre never play
the same songs... if they're playing two or three days
at the same venue...
   today's set list was much better...
because they only played Californication, Give it Up...
and By the Way...
    that's the only three songs they split between
the two days...
       sure... yesterday i was writing about being spotted
for what i do...
these two women started hovering around
where i was placed... i spotted them once...
disappeared... they reappeared...
one was my sort challenge... a big girl...
a big girl akin to ALISON TYLER big girl...
sort of the same height as me... all the necessary freckles
of a brunette and not a ginger...
lovely curves: big... not fat... just big...
she kept eyeing me up... i don't know whether
the crowd gave her the "*****-and-giggles" or whatever:
but her friend started to try and comfort her...
scratching her back... then caressing it...
her bra strap became exposed... then her friend tried
to hide it... and she kept looking at me with
these doe eyes...
     i couldn't allow them through the fire exit...
since only personnel can walk through freely...
so i told them: there's this disability bay up there
and the seats are far apart...
you might not see the band: but you'll hear them...
that's the best i can do...
       they left and i never saw them again...
maybe i'm just imagining things...
    who the hell buys tickets to a concert and suddenly
conjures up "panic attacks"?
i'm not saying: fakes panic attacks...
  but conjures them out of thin-air!
            maybe i have a story in my head that sort
of deviates from "reality"...
            hell... i'd buy tickets to a ******* opera instead...
that's usually a tame musical experience...
but still a musical experience...

just to the end i figured something about crowd
control, it's just a minor detail,
i sort of knew why things were done as they were
to be done: egress...
how to get over 30K spectators from the pitch...
two routes...
one route? a bottle-neck... up the stairs...
onto the concourse...
second route? a whale's ****** sized exit through
a tunnel...
what do you do? you block off the whale's ******
sized exit through a tunnel for about five minutes...
by placing traffic-cone people in high-viz. jackets
by this exit... today i felt like i was the only
controller on an airport tarmac...
moving my hands: indicating direction for
the initial crowd leaving to take...
           better orientating airplane...
   up the stairs... to the right... to the right (my right,
their left)... that's the whole trick...
establish a flow up the stairs... so that enough people
take the bait... which creates an initial split in the crowd...
since the bottleneck route can only take so
much traffic... and while people congest around
the high-viz. traffic cone people... right...
one flow established... now pull apart
the cordon of high-viz. traffic cone people
apart and let the mass of traffic through the tunnel...
makes sense...
                   i know there's no need to think about
such simple things...
but what news do you usually hear from Mecca
at the time of the Hajj?!
    what's the news? about 70 dead when the crowd
stampedes and crushes everyone...
i hate working with people with large eyes:
fear has large eyes...
    and panic is worse than ******...
               you just want people to go to an event
and leave safely... some drunk wizards and philosophers
will always be found... but that sort of stressing of
"individualism" is about as useful as
a gherkin on a pile of cucumbers...
                     i hate losing my temper with drunk people,
thank god it's a concert so you do have to shout
because of the ear-plugs...
and stand there like some hyper-inflation of "******"
gesticulating via "on MIGI": in MIG...
                  a make-shift deaf-person talk with the body...
it's not an acronym, it's a word borrowed from
******: in flashes... finger language...
hand arm body language...  
          wink wink... smile... neck turning insinuations...
i don't know if i'd make a better postman...
i think i'd make a great housekeeper when
people go on holidays and need a caretaker...
perhaps a great dog-walker...
certainly not a dentist or a heart-surgeon...
that path is lost... i'm not going to pick that sort of life
up... i'm still thinking about picking up
the role of a chemistry teacher: although i'd prefer
to be an English teacher...
  
   what a gruesome weekend... what a rewarding
weekend... i only woke up at home and
only spent 12am through to 2am scribbling and drinking...
as much as i love the idea of home:
give me a horse! and a good stretch of an Ukrainian steppe!
i've earned enough to 0 my debt and spend
the rest on prostitutes... which i will after the 1st of July...
because... i have nothing to spend it on...
plus... if the economy is going to work...
the women need the money... i just buy whiskey...
band t-shirts after seeing them in concert...
some food from time to time...
but... better the women have the money to spend...
but i'm not just going to give money to women
via marriage... via marriage that means
having a limited amount of ***
and hoping for people to attend your funeral... ah ha ha...
better i give the money to prostitutes
and have *** in return... makes sense...

i was actually dreaming about this manic weekend
finishing...
i was dreaming something akin to...
which i did fulfill...
the last day...
   singing die eisenfaust am lanzenshaft
(Teutonic Crusader song)
while walking home from Romford St. to where
i live, while drinking some cider,
smoking a cigarette or two...
admiring the night, the stars... the lateness of the sunset
of high June... wishing to find my cat sleeping
in my bed... waiting for tomorrow
in the form of waking up at 12pm,
cleaning the house... waited for the boiler technician
to come at 2pm and get paid £80 for 15 minutes'
worth of work...

then cycling for an hour... then making lunch
for dearest father with the leftover steak meat...
then making dinner power: roast chicken...
some vegetables... i'm always in my "element"
when cooking...
cleaning the house: that too...
        i have at least one night until a shift
at Wembley for an Ed the Ginger gig so i can
completely drink myself under the table:
the Matrix setting: there's no table...
as there's no "under": therefore...

                      i work hard i drink hard...
crowd control: eh... work for retards...
but these army references keep trickling down
from the top to the "stormtroopers"...
i don't know why the Somalis and other copper-neccks
like working with me...
once a make-shift supervisor...
i'm still their supervisor...
i think they just like saying the word: Matthew...

i was away from working for enough
to know... that work and youth don't mix...
und ihre schwerter blinken...
    
if i had more time: i rather walk into
the:
verdunkelt-wald... mondbeschienensilberlocken...
than a lampezündetehaus...
das knarren von kniefern
im alles das ist nacht!
                kuss mich morgen:
zu wahrheit die gähnen-mittag-von-die-sonne:
sonne das nie blinken oder schlafen...
nacht ewig: ein nacht alles uns!

i disintegrate into German from English
since... English is sort of German with some
*******-workings of pseudo-French workings...

oh but the conversations you hear...
the sort of fears blacks have concerning American culture...
the anti-racism culture of England...
too much was said in order for me to write
something equivalent to a haiku:
we, just, get, along...
   sure... i get it... there are outliers...
anti-racist white girls and their fetishes...
i have a fetishes for mushrooms and cats...
and caterpillars... i have a fetish for Turkish girls...
i have a fetish for Teutonic crusader songs...
i have a fetish for the German tongue...

but the young copper-necks like working
with me... i like them... i like their hue...
they're lazily employed at first but they soon build up
momentum...
when that happens i just start singing Teutonic songs
in my head.... i.e. we're here to get paid...
we're not in an army...
i'm planning to ******* to the land of Nod
from 2am through to 12pm... with my cat sleeping
with me... sure... i wish it was a woman...
let's not wish on too much...
first i need to scratch my scar tissue...
peel off some scab... eat it like a dog...
Jemminah really ****** me off...
not that she was an easy catch...
   but because she was a ginger and an impossible catch...

but that's the beauty of life:
you're never going to get what you "think" you're
supposed to expect... that never happens...
no one is ever promised to be born with
a crown of thorns of the crown of England...
are they?!
the idea is to diffuse the "situation"...
unlike in Republics... the old ways remain
the same... keep the majority a majority...
and then keep a scrutiny on the minority
that want to exist outside of the realm of the minority:
faking majority rule...
but?! first you have to sort out the fake minority
rule of PRIDE politico *******...
no one likes a minority detailing rules
for a majority to follow...
what one likes? individuals to detail rules
for a majority...
individuals > minorities when it comes
to the dynamic of ruling over the majority...

   classical western democracy cannot ever champion
the minority... a sub-class that undermines
the class of people that require to be guided...
this sub-class of individualism can never
undermine the individual...
but individualism is not somehow spawned:
orientated: dictated: by precursors...
it "arrives" when it must "arrive"...
                      
           give my heart and my feet a rest....
spawn some new idiots...
some spares of asp, wasp...
this night... drinking cider under this one specific
weeping willow...
dreadlock i.e. Jamaica is nowhere to be found...
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2021
****! there's no milk in the house.. never mind... the house has already stressed a want to deviate from the standard English cup-ah... it's not exactly unique... the English way of contaminating black tea with a squirt of cow *****... sorry... juice... there are plenty of stories surrounding this practice in Siberia... among... lactating women... if Siberia is on show... then the whole of Russia too... if i were ever to visit the United States... Tokyo conquers my imagination over New York... there's the Belgium of L.A.... i'm simply not that interested... oh the natural north American continent i'm very much interested in... but not so much with what has layered itself over it... i'd still rather see the Kamchatka peninsula... the volcano "avenue"... ****! there's no milk in the house... the household decided to switch to a green tea: a yerba māté (or... m'ah t'eh)... lime infusion for some... IM-BIR (ginger) infusion for others... no milk in the house... which implies that i'll have to buy a pint of milk on the sly... and glug it down... in between finishing off an ice-cream on a stick... raspberry: rhapsody ber-e! or bear: é (yes... no exclamation mark).. milk the hooves of my trot... the Sri Lankan rubber of my 23cm tires pumped up to 80+ Pascal(s)          (?)... if it's not a 35cl of whiskey is must be a pint of milk... goat milk is overrated... by all clinical standards of wholesale... it's nothing short of what's cow: long-life... excessive pasteurißed milksch... ah: some relief in german when scribbling in  Ęgliš - phonetically: with a "trick" of hiding the N: lost an IN(?) inquisitive tone: tier above... the monotone of narrative... oh... hiding one arm of the tetragrammaton is easy... sharp quest: q: ooh... oh! i seem to have forgotten what i wanted to scribble in the elder-tongue... maybe it might come back to me... after all... there's an undercurrent of: congregation but: the aliases are awry... we do not share the same etymological roots... der körper schlafen: solange der schatten: getanzt! jetzt! jetzt ich merken: von die
unmittelbarkeit of thought with short-term memory! this one time... the devil didn't come with either fire or with the perfumery stressing sulphur... at best he was gagging to add a zest of: zitrone-limette-orange... perhaps... just perhaps... der teufel vergessen (to forget is also a memory) zu bringen das feuer... aber! er tat bringen RAUCH und (the definite plural article for) SPIEGEL! i learned my lesson... upon each visit to Ypres.. seeing the graves of supposed ethnic brothers... the anglo-parade of "individualism"... and how the Detusche were... burried: en masse... no robin: now sparrow... designated their song over the seemingly marble stones of the named... but when it came to how the Germans were... folded... brick-on-brick... a haunting reminder... the sparrow / robin always deemed it necessary to... haunt a tree with a song... for the tree to escape the polyphony of the wind... we're talking a ****** riddling... empathy with the neighbours of Europe... push from Asia that wasn't the HOO'NS... the English had a Spanish torrent: back in the day... odd... how easily the English has capitulated having invited their former colonies to the sandpit... their native women have been barren: without a sense of agency...  they still capitulate... like... there's no like quiet like it... the Spanish armada failed like the Mongolian fleet failed when the invasion of Japan was being scrutinised... why wouldn't i somehow: pity the German soldiers of world war I... entombed in mass graves... sure as **** & the constipation that comes prior... i figured it out... just today... when men... single... and send their ******* dysfunctions: clean-cut-and-perfect... they take the shot of themselves... AFTER... they have *******... obviously it looks larger... with all the blood drained from the abilities of the scribbling hand.. they take the vanity shot after they have *******... nothing worth of note: prior...

(the devil forgot to bring the fire... but... he did bring smoke und mirrors!) i mentioned this somewhere... in: alt... etwas güt! (not... gat: not gut... my gut? good... softer... german-esque) Englisch ist ein späterzunge: it made sense... when there was an Empire.. but... now? ******* rhubarb... Rue-Barb... graffiti or no graffiti? that technical observation... no articles... included... when adjectives are being "stressed"? perhaps only in german... in all the german tongues: this over-stressing of the pronouns... of definite... indefinite articles... in the ****** tongue the pronoun I... makes are rare curtain drop... Freud was right about the vanities of men... Copernicus... Darwin... but he faltered... citing himself... some languages have pronoun exclusion parameters... you can't change a grammar... while nouns are asexual i English they are "sexed" up in other languages... but you'll find it rare: to spot the ****** use the pronoun: JA... i... ich... isch... whether speaking or writibg... in terms of language... England? *******... wenigsachsen! truly... *******... like i was addressed: silly ****... verpiss dich: wenigsachsen!


i had a "friend" once: a fwend... more like someone
i shared an occasional drink with:
then again... i did most of the drinking
while he staged most of the awkwardness when
i'd: from time to time... turn into a silent boor...
anyway... i was lazy and he was fat...
or i was fat and he was lazy...
                     by one stroke of the blue moon he
thought it was wise to lose some weight
by going to the gym...
never a good idea to shed off a dozen or two or
three pounds by going to the gym...
by all means: turn to the bicycle...
turn to swimming... turn to push-ups...
stomach crunches? eh... like Socrates remarked:
i like my stomach lamb-tender...
makes it easier to continue sparring the ol'
liver with a southpaw cider before noon...
but it was never a good idea to hit the gym, bro...
to shed some weight...
now... well... he's definitely slimmer...
a no-fat content milkshake sort of a shadow
that he now casts...
but... eh... gym bro... you won't find my lifting
weights... cardiovascular exercises since:
it's the closest you get to imitating ***...
plus... when you're the wolf with the three little
piglets on a red light at a traffic junction:
all hot & bothered: heaving and hyping up
the loss of breath...
ping... go the ******* of some traffic collision
of a woman... bad bragging rights...
hell: if no one's going to use me up
for some luvyy-dubby-teddy-bear-*******
i might as well: self-deprecate myself...
- you won't find me lifting weights because
this "friend": fwend of mine has exchanged
a weight problem for a... skin problem...
nothing dermatological you see...
it's the excess of it...
   if he only listened to me and shed the weight
via the cardiovascular "method"
his torso wouldn't be looking like a interspecies
mutation of how a dried prune turned into
a phallus and magically ****** an elephant's
******...
just saying... swim... press-up... cycle...
by all means...                 hell: even explore the mind
while taking to a marathon length walk...

p.s. for anyone who's a W. H. Auden admirer...
perhaps i was too... perhaps i still sort of...
well... it's not terrible important...
but you know how homosexuals can be
these scalding / scolding ******* behind each
other's backs... or at least that's the impression
i get having revisited a passage from
Harold Norse's autobiography...
i reread it to remind myself that...
                      i might leave traces of conversational
overtones... i might not rhyme:
or bother much with: tech-niq(ue) -
although: in (brackets) - surds...
                          you write them to differentiate
what would probably some out
to tek-nick: although the -nick would extend
into meek with an N -
but it's worthwhile to remember that...

i had another "friend": fwend... he complained
that i wrote in word salads...
last time i checked: he wasn't fond of a slice of cucumber:
either...
so much for friends: "fwends"...
i'm itching at 35 years old
and i'm itching for...
beside the prostitutes that give me
the most pristine smooches...
purpose... yes... that grand: "thing":
i simply don't have a noun for what's
already readily available...

chin low: forehead: high!
(kinn niedrig:
stirn hoch!)

                rotkehlchen und / oder spaatz
auf mein fahne!

i forgot to have friends...
i have my shadow to keep me company...
ich haven mein shatten zu
halten mein... kompaine...
    i die: Adolfo: KLAR
es ist nicht: Portugiesisch:
no leash? nein: leine: or geese..

                a cat might as-alles-goot...
fall asleep...
in an around a bookshelf of
unread Rousseau...
     **** the ego... **** the most ineffective crux...
the lost pagan: the hyper-inflated
intellectual Hebrew...

came the res cogitans... so too must have come
the res venus...
i find the lack of fear of deity suspicious
surrounding the Muslim bravado...
lasts for about one...
oink-oink-...
prickling at the mythological blonde:
by the time we're through:
there might be the rarity of the ginger
Pakistani...
or the bleached beauty of Afghanistan...
the mythological blonde escapade...

thank god i''m not reproducing...
now allowance of daughter by my side...
side to sire... what?
licking out some... sorry... you're not playing
jazz: some ******* ***-hole?!
i'm glad to not be in the race
of rats...
i'm bowing out: no one said it wouldn't
be painful... it will be...

i rather die the death of a wolf
with his teeth being pulled out...
than die the death of...
estranged relatives...
social cohesion race mingling *******...
it was so nice... so nice...
when black people ****** black people
before the blakc boy discovered the white
girl...
to hell with her... as Genghis Khan
sufficed to surmount...
if it didn't happen on the shore of the Danube...
then... it didn't happen: at all..

no... i'm just tired of how the English see
***... in Belgium you could buy a *****-mag
like you'd be watching a girl put on a full show
of cow-******* and a sack: without
the hurt feelings of a niqab:

well... i get the Muslims... somehow...
they're just about ripe in being synonymous
with... French footballers...
that's what happens when you don't
fear your deity:
you become... sort of... shrapnel...
tooth-itches:
not: teeth-itching... hell...
not (a) tooth-itch...
pseudo-grammatical post- Reconquista of Spain...
the ****-
-stanis still think of themselves as:
because of the Ummah: we... the Berbers of North:
Af- Af-... ath... aph... who knows?

the Muslims are... oblivious to having
a fear of their deity...
it's not like... i sacrifice my *******...
to ******* freely...
because... i don't exactly require:
a woman on a leash... a niqab might work...
but...
Muslims are yet to evolve to fear their deity...
after the fear comes
the secular apathy...
like the one staged by the Hebrews during
the holocaust...
a god: what god?
capitulating English folk...
because Birmingham sings aloud: loot!
hey presto... it feels like:
there's looting to behold...
between you an me...
i don't mind the future or:
copper-necks
and Brazilian mulattos...

100 years from now...
the details of a Hapsburg dynasty will be worth...
the face of F.D.R. on a dime...
equivalent or: there: about...

as is due: i must: applaud the victor:
i'll die towing the remains of the day:
a sunset come the tide toward
the Faroe Isles...
where i'll breath my last into
fathoming the wind...

dodo project: last introspection...
by no god or genes...
let these people have what they utmost
deserve...
the humidity is getting to me...

i'll just... sort of die... admiring the corpus
of either the Janissaries
or the Mamluks....

to heave as much as a woman;
to enter the confines of a storm:
i 'd sooner fathom
the depth of the angered sea...
than... quest...
for the benevolence of a woman...
i've teased the depths...
i've angered the tides...
i've become:
the anchoring of the shore!

tomorrow the world ends...
thank god i'm no safe-keeping of either
Shakespeare or the Quran...
why?
toward my own privacy...
i'm sure at least one *******...
will want be revived:
just one... that might want to keep me alive..
just one? timid bunch?

have it your way: camel-jockey...
have it your way,,,
like any new-found-riches of an Arab
undermining a Bangladeshi..
**** the Arabs...
leave 'em in their...
whatever an Arab "thinks":
most probably something less than a Pakistani thinks of...
ahem: 'em...

**** the H'arabs!
best begin a reworking of: no oil involved...
with the ****'ites...
Persian pirate... to hell with the poodle
masters of the parasitical Sunnis.
Mateuš Conrad May 2020
.i'll make it ******* plain.... and simple... i'll erase the concept of the tetragrammaton... once and for all... what you denote as: cheap-****... i'll hide those two "who's who" consonants... the vowel catcher and the architecture of laughter: the sigh baron and the laughter prince... чeap-шit... no... no caron? well... no... really: no... "crown"...

woz not payz for ziz... woz best: smear ****...
call if graffiti... golden halfz..
          woz not payz for ziz...
tribunal of: "journalistix integrity"...
        woz not payz
for zis smear: *****... and
a load of *******... der nacht ist für: schlafen...
so! hier: wir - ar!
          tribunal of leeches...
and the tabloids... toilet paper horse-huffing and
horses-puffing: that is... the warm air: with a scent
of baked good... like bread...
that blatant culprit, though...
                 with: wit... Ł...
like the orthodox cross from deer hunter:
which implies: post... w imie ojca: credo...
touch the forehead...
i syna: touch the heart... the stone...
blessed is the instrument of torture
the synonym of transcendental exaltation...
the crucified pig ****... body of lacklustre...
          the phantom trench of:
moses! moses!
rifle aim: rifle... crucifix... the christ bullet...
and there i was... thinking:
moses the... moses the poet!
  the greeks and the hebrews know
a thing or two about conspiracies...
if they didn't finally learn it at the reign
of the drittereich... or casimir III...
ziz iz zee plaz auf:
the greeks should have mattered
in the ottoman empire...
the hebrews were still drifting...
pretending... as one best pretends
to sell shoelaces but no shoes...
and matchstickz...
to no one, except...
                  fire blessed forms...
  so... so much for israel...
given the activity of the diaspora...
in h'america...
they cite: who needs israel?!
who needs to struggle with: gott?!
brochette 'ebrai...
                                      nero pokers...
don't know... in a language of
quasi afghanistan..
                           secular iran
and secular: turban on fire... the caves...
                     alexander the great
pretended to conquer...
by reaching the raj...
               that middle territory...
where... the women were so fine...
a niqab did hide the saudi beauties...
but a burqa was more...
in-stru-men-tal... for the pashtun women...
zee russischroulétté?
punctuation: wohlwollend-herr!
               the details: no h'american left
active...
i was expecting... a lick of rubber-soles...
from the boots...
and the face of god... when...
lazying a sunday with pol ***...
of any given sunday...
miracle of sporting venom...
anger... for the spectacle...
       and when hiroshima took noon...
and nagasaki took midnight...
i came across...
something lost: yet somehow human...
some called it the disinfectant...
some... the anaesthetic...
some... the aesthetic...
                 culprit... monk bro-mance...
and brit-pop... nostalgia...
oh: yummy...
russisch-rou-lé-tté
yes... the hyphen and the acute accent...
and the excess of tau...
but no tao...
                                   tao mantra:
primo! the best way you can help
the world... is for your to forget the world...
and for... the world... to forget you...
good luck rainman meets fowest grunt!

h'america is like islam...
it's not a people...
it's an idea...
it's staggering how... the synonym closure
was not reached prior...
h'america is as much an idea
as islam is...
the former brits... the irish...
the yidman and the gyrman...
the pole the fwa fwa fwench...
russophobia galore...

                       the secular route:
end up in the las vegas...
malcolm x route: mecca bound...

               both a set of ideas...
but unlike h'america...
in england...  i dare to retain...
my born with: mama said...
tata: said...
dziadek said... babcia: said...
                     "semi" integrated: karen...
it's not a lasso of mehiko spaniard: quasi...
nothing from: mad-rid...

         h'america is an idea...
leave the leash of history at the door:
and mat...
                islam is also an idea...
the ummah... no wonder these twins
should somehow swipe: right...
in england i still speak my native: mother...
because... the gwand'pah and the gwand'm'ah
are still... brea'vin...

it's no more a limb... or the instrument of
torture being celebrated...

than... when... the cossacks...
were... invested in... or that romanian prince...
the crucifix was to be replaced:
"revised" by the: na pal!
onto the spear!
onto the pike!
                  crucifix my ***... literally:
my ***...
the crucifix is what?! given the pike?
with one hands tied... better... cut off...
sinking for two weeks...
onto a phelgm lie lubrication
of "ease"...
                 pray! the orthodox mantra from
Kiev will not reach Danzig...
London?
                 we need nostalgic tourists from...
Ken-and-Larry: yuck contra: yummy...
theyz needz to knowz:
beginz und endz vel! they' zzzzzz...
includenz! a skip of sleep...
to lessen the сoвиeтц interrogation...
insomnia tactics...

               zuckerzzzzzzzzzzzzzz magic
       (jig jig... m'ah jig... contra...
           m'ah m'ah: m'ah jiq)...
wackerzzzzzzzzzzz!
         yep: rz... je suis!
                    her-t-z... contra:
frankensteinz: herz... harts... herц...
                             blah blah; hassan "e" sahba...
some life was worth living...
some... exacating synonymous parallels...
to... drinking bourbon and exclaiming...
mein gott! this tastes like chewing
bubblegum!

— The End —