there’s an open
wound on main street
and i wish people would
stop asking about it
because every question pulls
the hole a little wider

something was always
just a little bit
wrong

a constant drip
in the fridge

a fruit fly trapped
in the bake case

missing corners
of floor tiles

pictures hanging
slightly crooked

one foot of a table
unscrewed to a wobble

the rattle
of the heater

smiles from those
i couldn’t trust

a tiny pinprick of
stress behind my eyes

every year was
the year that would
make it or break it

so nobody was
surprised
except those who
couldn’t see the scuffs

last year
things were supposed
to be so good
everyone talking
mad **** about their
incredible ideas

i had a few
ideas of my own
nobody ever had to
teach me how to
dream big
overachieve
overexert myself
and fall hard

the quiche crusts stuck
to the bottoms of pans

and there was no way to
get the slice out
without the whole entire
thing falling apart

i might have been
the first slice to go

but at least i got
out of there

before the hand that
pulled me out
was the hand that
dropped the pan

a glass pie plate
shattered and
the way things were
supposed to be suddenly

over
just
like
that

and i’m still
reeling
on the sidewalk
staring at the
empty shell of
something i once loved

big hopes
big dreams
big plans
small town
too small to
hold them all

every piece of my
future points
backwards
arms of a clock
working their way
into the past

it’s not in how
the damage was done
but in how you
heal from it

there’s an
open wound on
main street
maybe if we gave
south street stitches
we could pull it closed

but still i question
my existence as if
scones and coffee
and thursday mornings
before sunup were
the only things that
gave me
stability

maybe
they were

maybe people
pull themselves into
an orbit around that
which keeps them grounded

an orbit of
routine and the
dissonance needed
to stir ice cubes
in a plastic cup
to create peace
in the moment
of chaos

or maybe
the one place
that always felt
like home to me
was just a cafe
on the four corners
and now there’s
an open wound
not so much
on main street
but the pocket of my
heart where hope lives

There was a young math **** named Herbert
Who fancied himself a tax expert.
Touting tax tips he tried,
Till terribly tongue-tied;
No more will he overexert.

****/****·ing/ˈkiliNG/noun
noun: killing; plural noun:                                   killings
1. an act of causing death, especially
deliberately.
synonyms: ******, assassination,
                                           homicide,
manslaughter, elimination, putting                               to death,
execution; honor killing; slaughter,
massacre, butchery, carnage,                  bloodshed,
extermination, annihilation;
                                 literary: (          )                   slaying
"a brutal killing"
adjective: killing
1. causing death.                    "****-killing"
synonyms: deadly, lethal, fatal, mortal,
                        death-dealing; mur·der·ous
ˈmərd(ə)rəs/adjective:                                                murdero­us
capable of or                            intending to ******;                          
dangerously violent.
"a brutal and murderous despot"
synonyms: homicidal, brutal, violent,
             savage, ferocious, fierce, vicious,
    bloodthirsty, barbarous, barbaric; fatal, lethal,
deadly, mortal,                    death-dealing; archaic:                   sanguinary
                     "a murderous attack"
(of an action, event, or plan) involving            
****** or extreme violence.
"murderous acts of terrorism"
informal:                                             ­        extremely arduous or unpleasant.
"the team had a                                           murderous schedule
                   of four games                                         in ten days"
synonyms: arduous,                               grueling, strenuous,
punishing, onerous, exhausting,                     taxing,
difficult, rigorous; informal:                          killing, hellish
                                      "a murderous schedule"

informal
exhausting; unbearable.
"the suspense will be killing"
synonyms: exhausting,     grueling,
punishing, taxing, draining,   wearing,
prostrating,                                    crushing, tiring, fatiguing,
debilitating,                                     enervating, arduous, tough,
demanding, onerous, strenuous,
       rigorous; informal:(                     ) murderous
"a killing schedule"
dated:                                   overwhelmingly funny.
****            |                  1
kil/verb
gerund or present participle: killing
1. cause the death of (a person, animal,
or other living thing). "her father was killed
a car crash" synonyms: ******, take/end
the life of, assassinate,                      eliminate, terminate,
dispatch, finish off, put to death, execute;
slaughter,                  butcher, massacre, wipe out,
annihilate, exterminate, mow down, shoot down,
cut down,                        cut to pieces; informal:     bump off, polish off,
do away with, do in, knock off,
        take out,                                                        croak­, stiff, blow away,
liquidate, dispose of, ice, *****, rub out,
waste, whack, smoke; euphemistic: (          ) neutralize; literary:             slay
"gangs killed twenty-seven people"
get rid of or destroy completely,       especially in large numbers.
                                                        ­   "there is every possibility all river life
       would be killed off for generations"
(of a writer) bring                         about the “death” of a fictional character.
                       2. (                    ), (          ),  -  (                   )
put an end to or cause the failure or defeat of (something).
"the committee voted to **** the project"
synonyms: destroy, put an end to, end,
             extinguish, dash, quash, ruin, wreck,
shatter, smash, crush, scotch, thwart; informal:              
put the kibosh on, stymie, scuttle
"this would                **** all hopes of progress"
veto, defeat, vote down, rule against, reject,
                              throw out, overrule, overturn,
                                                               put a stop to, quash, squash
"an opposition                                       attempt to **** the bill"
stop (a computer program or process).
informal
switch off (a light or engine).
synonyms: turn off, switch off, stop, shut off/down, cut
"Noel killed the engine"
informal:        delete (a line, paragraph, or file)
                             from a document or computer.
informal
consume the entire contents of
                               (a bottle containing an alcoholic drink).
(in tennis and similar games) hit
      (the ball) so forcefully that it cannot be returned.
(in soccer or other ball games) make (the ball) stop.
neutralize or subdue (an effect or quality).
"the sauce would **** the taste of the herbs"
synonyms: alleviate, assuage, soothe, allay,
              dull, blunt, deaden, stifle, suppress, subdue
"a shot to **** the pain"
3. informal:            overwhelm (someone)
with an emotion.
"the suspense is killing me"
overexert oneself.
"I killed myself carrying those things home"
synonyms: exhaust, wear out, tire out,
overtax, overtire, fatigue, weary, sap, drain, enervate, knock out
"you must rest or you'll **** yourself"
used (      ) hyperbolically to indicate that someone
will be extremely angry with (another person).
                   "my parents will **** me if they catch me out here"
        cause pain or anguish to.
         "my feet are killing me"  synonyms:
           hurt, cause pain to, torture,
                    torment, cause discomfort to;
   be painful, be sore,
be uncomfortable
"my feet were killing me"
               4.      pass (time, or a specified amount of it),
typically while waiting for a particular event.
"when he reached the station, he found
              he actually had an hour to ****"
synonyms: while away, fill (up), occupy, pass, spend, waste
"we had to **** several hours at the airport"
Origin: Middle English (in the sense ‘strike, beat,’
also ‘put to death’): probably of Germanic
origin and related to quell. The noun originally
denoted a stroke or blow.va·gi·na/vəˈjīnə/noun:
******; plural noun:
      vaginas;                        plural noun: vaginae
the muscular tube leading
from the external (                    )                    
                          genitals to the ******
                    of the ****** in women &                    most
female mammals.
BOTANY: ZOOLOGY
any sheath-           like structure,               especially
a sheath                       formed around a stem by the base of a leaf.
Origin: late 17th century: from Latin, literally
‘sheath, scabbard,’ which is also the source
of the word                        vanilla.va·nil·la /vəˈnilə/noun: vanilla
1. a substance obtained from vanilla beans
or produced artificially and used to flavor
sweet foods or to impart a fragrant scent to
cosmetic preparations.                                      "vanilla ice cream"
ice cream flavored with vanilla.
plural noun: vanillas                                       "four scoops of vanilla
with hot fudge sauce" of the yellowish-white
color of vanilla ice cream. modifier noun:
vanilla "a vanilla dress" 2. a tropical
climbing                                                         orchid that has fragrant
flowers and long pod-like fruit                   (                     )
[wait...                                  pod-like              ­   fruit?
a pod is a fruit...         (                         )
no metaphor necessary (               );]
             the fruit of the vanilla plant,
which is cured and then either used
in cooking                                         or processed to extract
an essence that is used                    for flavor and fragrance                  .
noun: vanilla bean;                      plural noun: vanilla beans
adjective: informal
adjective: vanilla;               adjective:
plain vanilla 1.            having no special or extra
features; ordinary or standard.
"choosing plain vanilla technology
wherever you can will                save you money"
Origin: mid 17th century:
from Spanish vainilla ‘pod,’         [diminutive of
              vaina ‘sheath, pod,’ from Latin ****** ‘sheath.’]
The spelling change was due
to association with French vanille .                          .
u·ter·us/ˈyo͞odərəs/noun: ******; plural noun: uteri
the ***** in the lower body of a woman
or female mammal where offspring
are conceived and in which they gestate
                         before birth; the womb.                               Origin: Latin;
                         related
to Greek hustera .  Compare with hysteric.
hys·ter·ic/ həˈsterik/noun
plural noun: hysterics
1. informal:  a wildly                            emotional        and exaggerated
reaction. "the child
(                                       )      has been seized with regular
fits of hysterics at bedtime"
synonyms: hysteria, wildness,                     feverishness,
irrationality, frenzy, loss of control,                 delirium,
derangement, mania "a fit of hysterics"
uncontrollable laughter.
noun: hysteric
"this started them  both giggling
& they fled upstairs in hysterics"
synonyms: fits of laughter, gales of
laughter, peals of laughter, paroxysms of
laughter, uncontrollable laughter, convulsions,
fits; informal: stitches
"the girls collapsed in hysterics"
2. a person suffering from hysteria. adjective:
hysteric 1. another term for hysterical (sense 2).
Origin: mid 17th century (as an adjective):
via Latin from Greek husterikos ‘of the womb,’
from hustera ‘womb’ (hysteria being thought
to be specific to women and associated
with the womb), related to ******.
hys·ter·i·cal/həˈsterək(ə)l/adjective: hysterical
1. deriving from or affected by uncontrolled
extreme emotion.         "hysterical laughter"
synonyms: overwrought, overemotional,
out of control, frenzied, frantic, wild,
feverish, crazed; beside oneself,
driven to distraction, distraught,
agitated,
berserk, manic, delirious, unhinged,
deranged,
                  out of one's mind,            raving;
informal:        
                          in a state
"Janet became hysterical"
informal:                           extremely funny.
"her attempts                     to teach them
to dance were hysterical"
synonyms: hilarious, uproarious, very funny,
very amusing, comical, farcical; informal:    
        hysterically funny, priceless,
                                 side-splitting,
                                 rib-tickling, gut-busting,
                                 knee-slapping, thigh-slapping,
a scream, a hoot,       a barrel of laughs;(                      ) dated:      
          killing
         "her attempts to (                  ) dance were hysterical"
2. PSYCHIATRY
relating to, associated with, or suffering
from hysteria.                           "the doctor thinks the condition
is partly hysterical"                      another term for histrionic
(denoting personality disorder).