When you don't sleep
Thing start changing
Everything mushes into one
Everyone melts togther
And no one matters
Not that they mattered in the first place
But they don't matter anymore
Nothing matters
No thoughts or memories
Nothing
Not even the finishing of this
Stupid ******* thing
That doesn't even matter.

the noise the noise it hits me like a speeding car

the light so bright it turns me to tar

blinded by light and deaf from sound

I feel a ram of loss dig me into the ground

the intensity of the senses mushes my brain it flings me around and

around bringing me chaos

every single day

Glamorous promises
Elusive lies
Slip through your lips

A broken sigh
Troubled exhalation
Escapes my lungs

Trembling hands
Pleading touches
Weakens the will to hold

Teary eyes
Realize
Redden with despise

Fluidic hair as the wind rushes
Feelings dissipate
Nothing is left, just expired mushes

When I was fourteen, I learned “no” doesn’t mean anything to certain people.
They take that word and twist it, carve it, shape it and play with it until it mushes into “yes”. They do the same with
“Not today.”
“I want to wait.”
“We’re too young.”
“This isn’t fun.”
All they need to do is drag you to a point along the road that you give up, and then “I guess” is what they run with.
“No” is just a sign to try harder, right?
If you can’t get them to “I guess” or “yes”, you haven’t tried hard enough.
And once you’ve done it, you think it’s okay to do it again and again,
On multiple occasions,
Without so much as even asking.
It only takes 1 “I guess”,
Then all the hear is “yes”.