For a long time, I used to let people's opinions void that feeling of being futile; I was so dependent on how they percieved me and let that fuel my self happiness and self worth. But now I realize that kind of "self love" was plastic, utterly unsustainable. There's nothing concrete about deriving happiness anywhere but yourself. The only way to fill that void inside permaently was to live life with acceptance, be grateful with what you have, and have immense gusto for constant self-improvement; be independent from the nay-sayers and stand up to be my own alpha. And that is where I currently am, standing strong and proud to be in my own skin. A happiness derived only from myself.
"Have some fire. Be unstoppable. Be a force of nature. Be better than anyone here, and don't give a **** what anyone thinks. There are no teams here, no buddies. You're on your own. Be your own."
In lieu of the concrete jungle and the smog spitters on wheeles that interpolated -- there was an undeniable buzzing glow of life that reverberated off of the bodies of the youth that fueled the city to life.
It was more than what meets the eye -- a cup of coffee isnt just coffee, its the type of bean and the due process it went through that makes its idiosyncrasies its own. The body, acidity, aroma, color, sweetness... just like that, theres no such thing as anyone being inherently boring. Theres art in every thing. Art instantly turns things interesting. Art is looking at things with rose glasses -- extreme appreciation for what it is and how it is. It sees something more than its worth. It transforms it.
Elements to the haze of infatuation:
Symptoms of the intoxicating infatuation:
Impulsive beyond imagination.
Crazed by the thirst of their attention.
Obsession over pieces of their life Like it were your occupation.
Wonders of an infatuated person:
What is common sense?
“Is it lust or is it love?” questions your conscienous.
Is a love like this eternal and immense?
When the person is gone:
Let it live.
Let it grow.
Do more good than harm -
‘Cause life has more to show
Actions that belt out what the heart wants to express
Certainly brings my inner qualms to rest
Sometimes the social media paints you pathetic when you do so, so these emotions are laid suppress
But have thought fall from mind, free your heart’s burden weighed with stress
Dance off that icky mess
Throw on your favorite dress
Life’s too short to accommodate all that sadistic sass
Instead, Let happiness have its arms caress
Youre no damsel in distress
But a mighty lioness
Perusing through the earth brown in your eyes
Your abysmal feelings lurk underneath your placid disguise
You gaze back into mine and plaster on your best smitten smirk
All I want to do is quell your inner demons with a kissing berserk
But like a whisper, I cant place my finger on it
Whatever is making your insides feel so unfit
Let me caress
to suppress all your body's ****** distress
Just crack open
Escape that inner dystopian
The superfluous light in my soul wants to spill in
so that destructive darkness can dissipate into fin
Fill in your void
I implore,"don't feel destroyed"
My heart's warmest sentiments
Dance with your mouth's jubilant upward movements
Im swarmed by the rosy love you cast on to me like a spell
I wish too that you have this frenzy feelings of fantastic to dwell
I beseech you
To save you is my virtue
You're one of the few
Whom I see in my future... 'tis true
Is this it?
The sight of a finish line,
despite all those nights sipping wine,
Has anyone ever kept running even after the race was over?
Is this it?
Echoing in the back of my mind:
hushed denials with each squeezing embrace
Every option leading to a bitter after taste
So I leave these aching memories with haste.
Is this it?
My frustration escaped through exhaled sighs
While you place your hands on my trembling thighs.
Blue, deeper than the ocean, colored our sad faces
Because a orange dream was about to reach its demise.
Is this it?
My heart tries to argue: "It cannot be.
For every end is a new beginning
With a twist of fate's hand, something has to be brewing.
Perhaps lead us back to what was once felt that was lost as of late.
History repeats, a wise folk has once told me, make that brave leap and just keep faith.
Is this it?
Meet me again.
After you close your eyes, please I implore, count to ten.
Drift into a dream and meet me there
Until one day you don't have to close your eyes.
One day we will be nose to nose under the same
Like a blooming rose in mid summer
Every one seemed to love her lavender
Appalled by her grace
And beautiful face
Mess with her thorns, you'll be a regretter
With star speckled eyes,
I looked out to the world,
And inevitably - a monologue with a blissful tone ensues.
"This modern green vista wraps this city like a blanket, holding together hopes and dreams in a bundle...
Nurturing all its inhabitants with those magical ingredients.
Thats how remarkable people are born.
With an innate bounce in their step
And a spark inside that never goes out.
What a relief.
It was once occupied with the skeletons dressed with pessimism, like the unwanted guests that overstay their welcome, who looked at life bleakly and leaked a dark goo of misery -- a world like the realm of Hades."
My inner demon scoffed.
I say with an arch eyebrow and a face twisting into bewilderment
"Hades maintained balance. How unconventional would it be for good to be without its bad? That goodie two-shoes over there in a overly frilly white dress, tacky halo would cease to exist without me!"
Taunted the scarlet colored creature, lounging like a king in the warm crevice of my left clavicle.
I nearly spilled my coffee when reality collided with my daydreaming.
Snap out of it,
I say under my breath,
Letting out a sigh,
I brush my bangs back and tucked my train of thought into my shirt pocket.
How do we know what is good if evil were not to exist?
Is evil really a necessary component of this world?
Which raises the question: what is existence? Because without the presence of evil there is no presence of good, so what is there?
What is the concept of reality?