When you don't sleep
Thing start changing
Everything mushes into one
Everyone melts togther
And no one matters
Not that they mattered in the first place
But they don't matter anymore
No thoughts or memories
Not even the finishing of this
Stupid ******* thing
That doesn't even matter.
Slip through your lips
A broken sigh
Escapes my lungs
Weakens the will to hold
Redden with despise
Fluidic hair as the wind rushes
Nothing is left, just expired mushes
the noise the noise it hits me like a speeding car
the light so bright it turns me to tar
blinded by light and deaf from sound
I feel a ram of loss dig me into the ground
the intensity of the senses mushes my brain it flings me around and
around bringing me chaos
every single day
When I was fourteen, I learned “no” doesn’t mean anything to certain people.
They take that word and twist it, carve it, shape it and play with it until it mushes into “yes”. They do the same with
“I want to wait.”
“We’re too young.”
“This isn’t fun.”
All they need to do is drag you to a point along the road that you give up, and then “I guess” is what they run with.
“No” is just a sign to try harder, right?
If you can’t get them to “I guess” or “yes”, you haven’t tried hard enough.
And once you’ve done it, you think it’s okay to do it again and again,
On multiple occasions,
Without so much as even asking.
It only takes 1 “I guess”,
Then all the hear is “yes”.
Another addition to my “when I was” series
— The End —