Hi am bimmy jarnes
And I am performing this quarantine concert from my living room with my alcohol pile mr drinkerbocker and my hat rack friend mahatma kote and scarf
And my first song is I am a real bludging man
Not working anymore
Just sitting down alone
In my house near my award and sign
Aussie Aussie Aussie oi oi oi
Relaxing oh yes indeed
Then mr drinkerbocker said to mahatma kote n scarf
That we must drink as many beers we want oh yeah mate yeah
Oh yeah dude, I am real bludging man
Then I go to the kitchen
To get a can of beer
It is like going to the bar, mate
But you don’t have to pay
You just get drink and sit right down
The best way you can
Oh yeah dude I am real bludging man
Ok thanks and now my action song for you
Mr drinkerbocker mighty fine
He will mind these drinks in time
Let’s get the rhythm of the vb
Ready to party with me
Let’s get the rhythm of the mighty fine
Party on days go on always loving life
Mr drinkerbocker mighty fine
He will mind these drinks in time
Let’s get the rhythm of the Carlton draught
Ready to be hungover the next day fast
Let’s get the rhythm of the mighty fine
Party on days go on always loving life
Mr drinkerbocker mighty fine
He will mind his drinks in time
Let’s get the rhythm of the Melbourne bitter
While watching your footy team win no crowds
Let’s get the rhythm of the mighty fine
Party on days go on always loving life
Mr drinkerbocker mighty fine
He will mind his drinks in time
Let’s get the rhythm of blue kamakasi shot
To really be cool a lot
Let’s get the rhythm of the mighty fine
Party on days go on always loving life
Mr drinkerbocker mighty fine
He will mind his drinks in time
Let’s get the rhythm of champagne
And go out and play a drinking game
Let’s get the rhythm of the mighty fine
Party on days go on always loving life
Thank you and now here is my next song
You picked my hat and coat up off the ground and you put a scarf on as the face everybody cheers you on
Oh yeah mate yeah
You bring the sunflowers in from the backyard and put them at the bottom as the feet
He is my best friend I have ever had
Never ever arguing with me
Mahatma kote n scarf
Everything is looking cool
Breaking every golden rule
Yes mate you are a tool
Using coffee to make you feel unreal
Yes yes yes mahatma kote and scarf
And now here is my award called the
National imagination award which I won because I have a cool imagination
I won this award one Sunday night
In a bar a long time ago
Everybody liked me then
I was cool
I was cheering the loudest I have ever cheered yes this felt great
We had roast chicken vegetables and a tasty mud cake
For my award is such a great friend
Never ever let’s me lose
Oh yeah partying in the club is what I enjoyed then
I really set fire to this town
Number 1 is to find my phone
That I lost yesterday
Number 2 is to have a shower
Putting on cologne
Number 3 is the happy hour on your YouTube or Facebook stream
When you party and you enjoy it yeah
I could really set fire to this room
With a cigarette lighter
And ok that was it there ain’t no more
Unless you come when Corona is over yeah

Hot Durban nights.
Naked in the pool.
The Blue Waters.
Ebbing.

Next door, my grandfather tried to hold on to. His wife. Thirsty for oxygen. As I slide off the tilting roof, holding its water as it cast me off.
Into the nearby sea.
You muffled my coughs. The taste of Vicks still won't leave my mouth. But it's one of my fondest memories.

(By the bar where the Rwandan directors smoked dope.
Late night discussions the foolish call art.)

You, me and &*^%.
Your tattoos and little *******.
I thought were perfect.
Modelled after martinis we'd never drink.

(My broken phone kept calling Kote.
Kote panicked with this unknown.
Suspicious of coups.)

The hand cloth towel slipped off your body.
The pool water dripping onto the sheets.

(Our saviour in the township on that night we tempted fate, re-enacting rapes, the terrifying 12 left us, and her girlfriend tried to kiss me, alone in the car)

You walked into my hotel room.
Fourth floor.
You took the bible from the draw.
Fourth floor.
You threw it with a flick.
Fourth floor.
Then you ****** my
Fourth floor
And I fell
Fourth floor




asleep.