can't even begin to imagine
how painful it must be to have ended up with him
at 20 what could i have ever known
besides what i thought was good looking at the time
it's so interesting how the woman he ended up with
is also a CPA
but he wanted to be an artist and never had the right stuff
i kind of knew that, even then, but i didn't know i knew
still know nothing about art, i like japanese woodblocks,
pagodas and cherry blossoms and round bridges have a lot to say
in all four seasons, they always something easy to say,
but at the time i liked magritte, i bought some books.
talked and talked
kissed and kissed
i told everything, being young
not knowing what to hold back
he did not tell me everything
or about his wife and other girlfriend
but i found out later
she followed me around for years
she believed everything he said, but loved him so much
she enjoyed being cruel.
sadly, i sat beside him
as he drew, i knew but did not know i knew.
nothing that he drew was important, it was all a boring waste of time. i was too willing to put up with it.
the last time i talked to him was the day before 9/11
he told me i would leave him, i pledged i wouldn't but ended up telling him to ******* and never talk to me again because he apparently said something else i can't remember now.
i had come home from work after cutting a filthy muslim man's hair. i remember being disgusted at the shampoo bowl and not knowing i was disgusted.
the next day the planes flew into the towers. everyone on the sylvia plath mailing list starting screaming and crying about we shouldn't be hateful to muslims as all the news footage showed the hijab wearing women ululating in the streets.
years later, julee was still following me around. laughing at me but begging for information. any information. "what kind of clothes did he wear". she asked other questions, but i can't remember now. i never answered her. it was ridiculous.
he and julee had gone on some fifth dimension rampage which I laughed and laughed at.
he ended up with someone else though, kind of ugly with her thin face, tries really hard, but a CPA just like me. julee is an artist though.
