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There was a time when it served me well to forget the times
When they were fresh to devestate
Hard times, mean times, time to forget but the memories wouldn't stay buried
For too long
It took a long time to keep them from escaping the soul-locked box I stuffed them in
Hoping, they would rot inside
Losing, with the passage of time, the power they weilded
What damage had been done would eventually be credited to other foes
But that's not quite what happened

**

There is a soul-locked box sits in the center of all I know
With no labels or any way to guess what might be inside
Be it wonderful or wicked
Light as a feather
Stinking, moldy air?
Ashes, fine powder weightless?
A black hole vacuum just waiting for me to open it
For to be ****** down and in to the times for which it was spawned

I don't know what's inside but this I do know:
It's something important
A missing piece of a huge jigsaw puzzle that covered my grandmother's coffee table
An instinctive aversion to Thursday nights at 9:00 o'clock
A resolution to never again defend the Bible to bullies
A plastic bag filled with flour, snorted like *******


I don't know what's inside, but I do know this:
It's something important
A casual observer forced to take sides to help a weak man win
A look in the eye only noticed through hateful glaring and if eyes are truly the window to the soul...
A new meaning to the phrase "looks that ****"
A wet pillowcase still warm from muffled curses

I don't know what's inside, but this I do know:
I'm afraid of knowing
Because I think I DO know and now I don't want to
I remember pain and disappointment, fear and contempt
A loathing for someone who may or may not have deserved it
Someone with a set of excuses every bit as valid/worthless as mine
I'm afraid of the possibility ithat those excuses don't amount to anything
That forgiveness somehow got lost in the shuffle and someone went to heaven without mine
And I can only pray that there was a time he repented and forgave me in his own mind

Because I have a strong suspicion
That forgiveness is the key to the soul-locked box
In the Spirit, let the breeze dissolve the molding, rotten air
Let the Wind, which no man knows which way it comes or which way it goes, dissolve ashes into ether

I long to find out the times, torn from the fabric of time
Memories alive but unconsciously ignored
You tell me you can tear down those walls
I say Ignorance is Bliss
Caitlyn Bruce Dec 2014
Every time you swear you love me I can't help but wonder if you've said the same thing to her. Do you say ithat in the same breath? Would you dare? I wish I was more surprised at your sudden disappearance but old habits die hard, right? You insist that you love me but your actions have always spoken louter than your ******* words. And I am always a fool for thinking anything different. I am consistently broken by you because I want to believe you so badly. I want someone to love me that much, and to love them back without fear. I hope you know I'm not a game or a toy to only be played with when you feel like it or when it's convenient for you. I will hate myself for always letting you in and you will always manipulate your way. I should've  known better. I hope you read this and know that you ****** up. Don't expect forgiveness and don't think that I will ever forget.
Noel Billiter Dec 2018
While on my  way to a friends gathering
I came across some boys walking
they spoke to me said I was pretty
I shied away from complimentary
they tore my dress ithat day
As I screamed  my little screams
covered my mouth no one could hear me
I bled my soul that day, no recovery
hands and parts in and all over me

Forcing and thrusting against my body
Shoving and pulling holding me down
After they finished left me there to bleed
Some nights I relive this haunting memory
Echos of voices penetrate my dreams
this is the day I lost my virginity

I tell my story It serves as a warning
To all the happy sweet nice innocent girls
Don’t be so **** trusting of what you hear
Not all  compliments from boys are sincere
Stop wanting thier approval and attention
Be aware if this very painful lesson

— The End —