"What tempature does love freeze?" asked
a five year old ice scientist.
Her character sheet read: "Mage".
She preferred "Scientist".

"An Ice Scientist can freeze anything!" We said.
"How cold?".
"-300 degrees Celcius".
"-300 degrees Celcius".
The Ice Scientist spent
Dungeons and Dragons
and the entire next Year
asking us the Freezing point
of  EVERYTHING!

"I want to stop the Bard by
freezing the Queens love"

"Roll for it".

"Nat 20".

"The Queens love freezes
As she refuses the bards advances".

"YES! ...Wait,
What tempature?"

"70 degrees,"
"love can freeze at any tempature".

The adults burst into laughter.
The Ice Scientist smiled,
gleefully ignorant.

I fell silent.

At 211.5 Degrees Celsius, Adrenaline Freezes.
Did you know that?
Your heart stops racing,
No more sweat, dry mouth.
The initial fight or flight reaction slows.
you see less red.

Mom stopped buying Epi-pens;
they're only sold in packs of two,
said she's "Boycotting epinephrines codependency".

Adrenaline helps your heart beat!
Did you know that?

At 128 degrees celcius Dopamine freezes.
Did you know that?
With desire frozen and no sense of reward
you sleep more, eat more,
slip into depression.
You aren't addicted to anything anymore!
unmotivated!
upperless!

Mom gave up coffee,
gave up chocolate,
can't even have ***.

Dopamine makes you happy!
Did you know that?

At 121 degrees celsius, serotonin freezes.
Your well-being crackles on a car window.
The remaining strands of happiness,
form icicles!
You can't regulate your mood,
or appetite, or sleep patterns,
you are unpredictable and sick!
Serotonin heals wounds,
did you know that?
with it frozen, the scars you've collected
stay open!

At 0 degrees celcius water freezes!
you are made of 50-60% water!
half of your body is FROZEN at 0 degrees!
Did you know that?

At -2 degrees celcius human blood freezes.
Your hands go numb,
like when you have no gloves on?
Then your toes!
Arms!
legs!

"I think I would like the numb feeling"
"being frozen, like Elsa".
All those tingles are the blood
warming up and moving around.
Did you know that?

"No, I didn't know any that."

At -218.8 degrees celcius, oxygen freezes.
Breathes winter trees
into glass ornaments.
Each panic attack, a frozen lung.
A car exaust pipe duct taped inside your back window.
A crowbar against it attached to a friend
A friend who saves your life.
Without oxygen you turn purple.
Did you know that?

Dear Ice Scientist.
There is a cryogenic chamber
deep in my heart where you have slept
like that queens love,
set to thaw with an oven timer.
While you rest
I will set fire to the blankets you've used
like in-scents, prayer candles.
Taste you hot in my lungs
like cigarette smoke
if not for long, for memorial.
Your afgans burned to ashes.
Each night I still cover myself in them,
pull them over my head,
rub them into my eyes,
swallow them every morning
like vitamins, or mood - stabilizers
because as frozen as the
blood,
oxygen,
water in my body is,
your memories were cremated.
My addiction to you is cryogenic.
Walt disney won't bring you back to me,
you are no hologram.
I will be cold.
I will die in this winter
I know falling though thin ice
is just drowning
which is no different from a frozen lung,
frozen heart.
How am I to pull farther away
when death is as close to me
as any other flurry?

"Mama, what's the tempature?"
"I'm busy".
"Dada, what's the tempature?"
"Well, Inside or outside?"
"Outside?"
"Well it's five below freezing outside".
"Inside".
"In here? Well, it's 70 degrees".

Without you there is no inspiration,
good or bad.
I am lifeless,
there is no feeling,
no emotion.
I am going through the motions of everyday
till you find your way back to me again.
You are in a place where no one knows your name,
you can start fresh,
be yourself.
I am stuck in this dust bowl,
looking for comfort,
seeking out friendships.
You are breathing clean air,
I am ******* in exaust and dust.
You are in an indie rock haven,
ska escape,
metal homeland.
I am swirling in country music,
wailing gospels,
classic rock FM static.
Come home soon.
The usuals miss you.

Do you feel that?
That tar
That slick blackness
Oh it's not at the surface
And you want to beleive it doesn't exist
But there is something ugly in all of us

Once released it billows out of our throats
Chin's upturned and eyes ablaze
Like diesel exaust
Thick black burning fuel
That we use to make regrets
And generate hatred in those within reach

It fills your muscles with vigor
And your mind with fight
And when you swing your aim is truer
To your darkest intentions
And when you talk you snip parts away
From the weakest parts of people

Its a sort of hateful x ray vision
That only let's you see the black
In every living soul
Allowing for a true yet unnecessary justice
That has self perpetuated
Since the dawn of intelligence on earth

Its so very ugly and graceless
But it exists
To be apathetic to it
is to slowly let it seep into the ground
Poisoning the water
And masses at once
This is a grater danger
than the enflamed individual

Its unnoticeable
until it builds to a point I'm all
And history will show
All it takes is a spark
For the world to burn.

As the air escapes my innards,  I exaust a sigh most listlessly foul.

It is not the last breath that we will share this day... But I wish that it was.