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gone girl Oct 2015
you're probably the reason i wake up unable to breathe thinking there are snakes slithering around in my bed, because you did the exact same. i'll never find the words to tell you just the way you shattered my stained glass, i went to dozens of cathedrals to try and beg you to fix my mosaics and give me forgiveness, but not even the hierarchy could help me now. I went from Nortre Dame all the way to St. Paul's trying to find peace but no glass will ever be the same as mine maybe a pastiche but I will never feel as if I am as beautiful as the Troyes, so I walk around with ****** palms grasping to the remaining pieces I have from that night. I'm gasping for air now, in hysteria I'm flipping through the pages of a poor mans good book trying to find the terms for repentance or contrition or whatever it could be named, I'm not sure because I've never pleaded like this before and I'll scream to the all the gods that might listen, I'll be ****** if Im going to go down like this. I found another chapel he's got mosaics like no other has ever seen, I'm looking into angelic hues of browns and blues and greens. I'm running through the backrooms trying to find an exit, I'm in a rut to get to a comforting haven. don't waste your time on me I scream. Ive been cast out of heaven for my sins and I'm paying for my crimes -my rosary has fallen to the ground. it's just us two now; I want to run, the apocalypse inside of me is tearing me apart. I've had a martyr in my bed and I remember the taste of his lips, now I recall how your mouth resembled that of a serpent and how it tasted -of venom. you lied while your head was between my thighs, oh the stigmata of a dismal life. I've found a new savior and I am more than what you've dictated to everyone else. I've undergone apostasy and devouted myself to a new God, I might even wear white with him.
{the poem that i am going to preform at a slam competition}
Art you made
Art you shall become
.
That's the lesson I've learnt.
.
We're not made of stardust
Or particles
Or a billion atoms running
Up and down our system
.
No
.
Art is what we're made of.
.
Art is what we aspire to do.
.
Art is what we inhale
and exhale.
.
Art is everywhere.
.
Art you made
Art you shall become
.
Art is what you
Dedicate your existence to
What you are devouted to
What your life resumes in
.
Art
.
Art is what you made
Art you shall become
.
Art
.
Artist don't burn
They don't turn into ashes
They don't return to the earth
.
Artists return to what
They're made of
.
They turn into their own
Version of stardust
.
Art
.
From art you were made
And art you shall become
.
Art you made
.
Art
You
Shall
Become
.
In Memoriam
Ursula Wolf Apr 2020
I could hear as the rigid solitude knocked on my window,
I stand up with my trembling legs and look out through the glazier blot.

Dark towers of the night looming, mantle the Moon's light
Of which fairies were buried by fiend  of the shadow.

The beast huddled,
And with that, solitude also forsakaned me.

Emptiness, that I became,
Like a void spirit,
Who is silently striked by the devistating fist of scarcity.

Since the Moon was locked up in a faraway cage...
Shoreless the dark night, which burns between us,
And racking me for an endless time.

I am a bird, which pursuing its warmth,
And flying trough the stiffed mainlands.

I am a sunflower, which lives for the Sun
And nervously golden colour of it
feared from others.

I am an asterisk, which devouted to the Moon
And relishing its dim beams.

But I would rather be a shooting star once,
Than a callow craven.

I would rather wait among Time's grains of sand that snaring backwards,
Than becoming a desolate corner of life.

I wish the solid smoke of darkness would just fade away,
So my blinking eyes would know where to reach for you.

Frigid the scrapering, destitute nothingness.

Only you could smelt me, like the sunny sky a bird.

Deprivation of yours is devouring me,
Like affection my sanity.

Please bring back the Moon,
Because the night is perishing my Sun.

— The End —