The colors fade, and then appear again
Falling away from the color wheel
Looking back on what had been
This is how I feel

The contriteness that I always show
Will linger until all is well
But you simply will not ever know
So I suffer in my own hell.

Clever, witty, deep, pure
Adjectives used to describe me
But how could any of these be so sure
Cause none of those you can see

So I continue to write all of this
With deep care in my heart
They say that ignorance is bliss
And you have fulfilled that part

There's KFC in the cupboards and kebab in my hair and them ******* Macdonalds are just everywhere,
please take me away from this fat food today or I'll pop,let me shop in the shops where healthy food is the tops,I need not the props of reconstitutes,resolutely defying the deep fat pan frying,I'm trying to detox but it's hard.
Sweet Jesus please hear me,don't send me more chips soaked in soft lard and cooked in some oven, please send me the fare for a wheelchair to healthcare,I just cannot bear this no more.
But being skinny's a bore and when I see pizza I want more and more,I want Indian food every day and Chinese to take away,Chicken satay a la Malay and oodles of noodles all dripping with oil.
It's Sunday,the one day I can say what I like,the one day God gets bored and goes off on his bike for a ride,it's said he can't bide that contriteness,politeness,because he knows that we're sinners and there's never no winners and no one gets the ***,so just stuff your faces and eat up the lot,you've got **** all to lose and only weight you can gain,get to the counter reorder again,another burger and fries and hope nobody dies of boredom

What kind of day was it. Clean
the house. Notice the full moon.
Read a sheaf of old poems.
Listen to jazz tunes. Open mail.

Refuse to make of it more
than it was. What is it for,
don't ask. Squirrel or spider
your cares are yours to savor,

enjoy or fear. Tinnitus
of the ear, sinusitis
of the nose, bale contriteness
of the soul. Moriturus.

Consider economy
soul's eponymity.
The opening canopy
panoramic mystery.

Neither joyful nor depressed.
Not the worst and not the best.
I lived, as did my dentist.
To the east and west, the self.

you are the swan
that I was jealous off,

during a  greenish  morning
at  the  national garden,
so I photographed you

neck, face and anguished eyes
full of grace movement,

body defeathering by me
with the momentum of a lifetime

can t  forget, can t ask,
a brief contriteness

©Maria Panoutsou
March 2017

Solitude breeds malignant nemesis
couched as woe seated heavily
within mine angst
riddled quavering psyche
blinding clairvoyance
debilitates enthusiastic frequency
wavelengths propagate unfounded
probable future destitution

predicated upon intractable lifetime mired
within groveling penuriousness
"dirt poor" accursed fate
pervaded plentiful not ready
for prime time playing years
repercussions long fostered anguish,
when offspring begot
(particularly the whip smart eldest)

she jockeyed herself as winner
with good n plenti horsesense
chomped at the bit, albeit figuratively,
when aforementioned progeny
attained age of awareness
underscored by livingsocial
in the horn of plenty
regarding estates generally

dripping exuberant wealth,
where plush domiciles within MainLine
accentuated luckless financial pitfall,
asper yours truly afflicted mental illness
mine generalized anxiety, panic,
obsessive compulsive disorder...
ascribed to existence squandered,
nee imprisoned impenetrable prison

found me captive undermining
ordinary healthy development
sabotaging approximately five decades
constituting better part sans mein kampf,
which total three plus score orbitz,
yet far and away psychologically afflicted
nsync and linkedin with
emotional, mental, and social trauma

(learning difficulty compounded
dilemma repercussions extant today),
now healthily sublimated,
courtesy painful pubescent exhumation
poetry metier write
cathartic, holistic, narcotic...
plus weekly therapy sessions
also exercise in toto with meditation

supplements summoning forth
inner Wizard of Oz
to traverse cratered abysmal pits
gingerly sidestepping death traps
awash with skeletal wreckage
indelible scars perforating
air supply condemning me
aging baby boomer nsync

lead zeppelin plunges
corporeal essence gripped
stranglehold asphyxiates
sputtering torturous undulations
irrepressibly avast impossible mission
livingsocial counter intuitive
rather hermetically sealed simian
accustomed himself being alone.

Pardon me while I bend
not to the world with its rules
instead I twist to find myself
providing contrast to the norm

take a pinch of spicy jest
seasoned by the many years
flavor spun to satisfy
if appetite accepts my flair

perhaps I’m bent, the ***** one
until I’m seen with my comrades
they are bookends to my itch
to express impure thoughts

not a scoundrel as some contend
instead a trickster, child at heart
only a charlatan to myself
I’ll not trick the common man

now I’ll bend the knee to show
contriteness for my revelry
until I remember why it’s so
I strive to live beyond the fold.

© 2017. Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20171024.