My hands died slowly,
with blood vessels surrendering
to the chill.  They turned grey, yellow, lavender,
dusky. Dusky, like the sun had been setting
for hours and I only just realized it.
Pills made them pink again,
but I can’t help but notice
you flex your fingers after we shake.
A cold grip doesn’t suit you

yet. Gloves on, or else I’ll hold the
palm over a light bulb in the bathroom
before running it along his spine.
Blood thinned out to
water, bouquets of nerve

endings wilted.  I lost a piece
of each pinky promise, the weight
of a wedding-band.  Flipping the bird
at the catcallers carries one joint less
meaning, and I have trouble
getting to the point. As I
brush my thumb along my lover’s
wrist, back and forth and back
and forth, I only feel the holes.

I can hear gulls squawking
like catcallers in the streets
of New York City
but they're not talking to me,
they're speaking to the ocean breeze.
They'll be heading south soon.
Fall is coming
and you can taste it
even in the August heat.

I still have memories
of childhood summers
that lasted longer than some years
recently.
Can't help but think of the days
I wasted worried about
who I would be
and now I'm someone
sitting beneath a girthy oak tree
wearing a collared button up
that hangs on me a little too loosely.

I don't know what that means
but it may mean something
to somebody else
who writes love letters to life,
that might just double
as quiet cries for help
in a world so high on noise
it's forgotten poetry.

Match off
Burn the cigarettes
Read my eyes, tell me my regrets
****, I got depression
I got ******* passions
My mother was asking,
I'm a burning mess
I'm a disaster
Don't you dare lay a hand on her unless you ask her
I hate all these cowards
These addicts
This magic
I hate all the pillagers
Who destroy my villagers
I hate the rapists, and abusers and catcallers
Cause when I get my hands on you
You're gonna be running and falling
Off of the edge of your world
Don't think you'll get away with it
You ******* idiot.
AHEM
Sorry, I got carried away there,
Hey Mr. Internet,
Thank you,
You saved my life in February, yea
Thank you,
Because of the internet
I got an audience,
To hear the stupid **** I wrote down
In class on a sticky note with my red pen
Thank you,
Because of the internet
I got a bunch a friends
But because of the internet
I got a bunch of mood swings
And I'm losing grasp of things
**** the internet
I love the internet
I love this girl
I'm talking to, through
A screen
But is that real love?
Because we only know each other's words and not our voice
But is that really a choice,
Man, I'm ****** up.
It's ****** up because like
You get so lost in someone
That the only way to get out
Is to just,
Delete them
Because you can't really delete people from real life
But you can
And it's ******* horrible

I didn't know it is really possible
To laugh and cry at the same time
Without an exact cause

I think I am insane
But he told me I am not
But he didn't really know what
We were talking about

It was about me and me and me
How many me's?
I will count it later like the stars not the stairs
Fail and fail oh I can't even turn the lights on

The water tastes funny
The world is so funny today
Today is the right day to
**** all the catcallers in the universe or
Just ask God to dance something
(Don't you think that Heaven has its own traditional dance too?)
Or we can watch a grand, glorious
Dance battle
Between Michael and Lucifer
Then watch Maria and Joseph slow dance;
It would be fun
Trust me
And the best of all
We won't run out of good wine
(Yo, Jesus!)

Oh, I can't believe you!
Why don't you laugh?
I can't believe you are
Not laughing
You don't even cry! How boring;
How boring --
The heaven would get mad
So mad, so mad like Sylvia
Or Khadīja or Rebekah
Or don't ask me who they are!
Do you even really know who you are?

I think I am insane
There was a time when I am
Really sure that I am, but
Then I learnt that truth was not that simple --

He said, just like him, I think too much

What do I think?
I think I am insane
But he told me I am not
But he didn't really know what
We were talking about