Now that people are becoming more aware of my poetic efforts, interests are being expressed regarding the background of my poetry - in addition, to my spiritual muse. One never knows exactly when the Spirit of God will move on your soul; fortunately I was paying a little bit of attention, one cold winter night...

I've been a member of the IT (Information Technology) community since June of 1981, a profession that constantly tries to turn you into a slave from an employee. Rarely did I ever bring home work; sometimes it was unavoidable, given arbitrary deadlines and poor managerial planning. After dinner on this particular night, I had spread out the pages of computer 'source code' across the entire kitchen table, while attempting to solve a logic problem. ('Source Code' is the logic written by a computer programmer, in a given computer language, that addresses a specific business function. The term is equivalent to a computer 'program'.)

Once I had spent roughly 90 minutes struggling to solve the issue at hand, I treated myself to a mental break. I noticed the gentle reflection of moonlight on the window and decided that I would step outside onto my breezeway for some fresh air. The evening sky that night was a magnificient sight, like many other times. Absent were the visible presence of clouds and the stars seemed noticeably brighter. Taking in this grand view, I let my mind wander, temporarily forgetting about the thousand lines of computer code awaiting me. Gazing upwards, I was quietly reminded of God's promise to Abraham - that his offspring would be as numerous as the stars. I also contemplated why God had designed the heavens to demonstrate His existence.

When the coldness of the winter night started to permeate my body, it was time to terminate my break. Stepping back into my warm home, my brain was re-energized and thankful for the brief, mental hiatus. Trying to re-focus on my work became difficult, as phrases of poem snippets bombarded my soul as "shooting stars". I had been writing haikus and senryus for several years, but not 'traditional' poetry. So to move on, I grabbed a blank piece of paper and started writing, capturing the poem's concept. At the time, I did not recognize or fully appreciate what had transpired. This was my first non-haiku poem written by me; it would be over a year later before I thought to publish my first book.

Having taken the time to compose this poem, I was blessed by God, for taking time to honor Him. Less than ten minutes later, I solved the problem and enjoyed immense relief; plus I got to spend quality time for the rest of the night with my wife. In addition, I completed my project deadline to my boss' delight and surprise.

woke every morning and
dressed in the sun, then
dreamt in the breezeway
where the day's laundry
hung. She listened for
him in the summery hum;
sometimes she was honey,
sometimes she was stung.

this is my ****
have it on replay
and my seats sway
back and forth in the breezeway
im dancin on cloud 9
cloud 10 not that far away
im getting it in every single night
and at the end i want to pray
anger inside and anxiety bleeds
no one can see
i focus on positivity
to eliminate
the gravity
from taking me to a place
ive been before
no thank you
no can do
i'm going to enjoy my minute
hour
second
all that ****
only thing i have to do
today
is get high
go for a walk
and repeat
laundry done
clothes washed
i'm clean
i'm healthy
i'm living
i'm feeling good
and i move forward
from all the *******
that keeps me down
life always reminds
that it's in control
but i take the reigns
tell it to *******
and i **** it
and dominate
with my even keel
devilish smile
hidden
it is written
that i will be the best

Walls were pressed and hammered
Therapy for workers, curing pangs of comforts
They sat between fleshy webs of knuckles
On lunch break they would pluck pouts of moldy fruit
If only she could hear summer of 98’
Glimmering puddles and sinkable reasons
She could test her strength with Goldfish and a drippy, chocolate cupcake
Matching deserts of skin covering joints young enough to bend
They spat against another, sweating. Tapping
Smoother than honeymooners in a convention center
Frigid or uncontrollable, no one could tell
The breezeway connected teeth, the left chipped in the corner from
A muddy softball game. Their team won 7-2.
Wide enough to squeeze uncooked macaroni shells between
Became the dusky neighborhood game.
Transitioning humans, males most likely, whispered fears between that gap.
He was different. He waited in outside the doors, near the trash bins
With grumpy janitors, muttering, “fuggin’ kids” and things like that.
She loved how ugly they were then.

Her thoughts trailed him, what was left of him, as he paced
Searching for the mug he left there, no
There, holding wet tissue, no
Soggy cupcake liner
Cupcake, shortcake, cake, cake liner
Rainbow or musty brown from 346 degrees Fahrenheit
Baking Therapy Class held in her kitchen
Maybe because she could pound at the dough and it would never fight back
She neglects the finale of rumbling coffee exhale since she knows
He’d never come back. Not here or any party she threw.
But on another hard drive she saved photos of September 20th.
She’ll flip mindlessly through a Cosmopolitan, until she can forget his name

By the sight of engine blocks
      melted on the frays of mocking birds--the city is mohawked      

          and the large intestine of  betrayed Alice is a flintlock             in the early morning
                  --carnal ***** flooded with music and chardonnay
                                     bruised by the fiery sort haunting the genius drawing
              of       humor--a tumor of gunpowder and splattered cardinals.

                                       We have no kings--just kids
--no queens, just compensation--

                                         and on the hood of a 1969 Chevy Impala
with the American Jolly Roger ablaze
                                         like that of a tick in the sun--wanting Alice carves
                   the cheeks from Skippy's black wound-up drool toy--in his mouth
                                        is the last word to make deities cry sentient lives

          and now you see it, the glint, the ball, the powder, and the breezeway windows
                             carved in the gum line of his mouth in reverse,
                                                        ­            and how she whispers, "Impress me."

her grandmother        stood at the window in the kitchen

             the corners of her mouth turned up into
                  an unconscious slight smile
                  at the sight
                             of a spinning yellow blur  
                              under the big oak
                              in the middle of the pasture
                              surrounded by green grasses
                                                       wonderous hues of wildflowers

she quietly called out to grandad
                             come see this

                the lanky cowboy sauntered in
                             from the breezeway
                             with his umpteenth cup of coffee
                              peered at the blur of yellow
                              
                              opened the side door
                              stepped out on the deck beside the metal glider and
                                   called out in his smooth baritone voice

                                      sheeeeeelllllliiii...
                                      sheeeeeelllllliiii  lllllloooooooooo...
                                      


she might have
                             been 4
                                   or perhaps five

              precious in the way
                  innocent girls that age are


               dressed in smocked yellow lawn
                                                white lace
                                                patent leather

                                                  up to her shins in spring grasses
    
      slowing her spin
      she turned toward her name

       her face radiant she took a wobbly step or two
      then broke into an off kilter run
                                                 arms stretched out before her

      he took a few long strides
bent his tall body low
offering a bent knee
                 wide open arms


she flew into them with all her might
                   knowing she would be caught
                   rough housed with
                   and given a wickereye

            





                   from the window her grandmother took it all in
                                sighed
                                said to herself
                                         hold this dear
                                         hold this snapshot of the soul
                          

                                         for.                           ever.

A Story of Scientology and the
Mental Health System Connection

GILDED CAGE

Unlike the pampered, well heeled clients of my "faith", I didn't enter the Fort Harrison Hotel via the opulent main entrance. I made my appearance through the back. The garage entrance was less than hospitable. And, I noticed, there seemed to be people *living in the cold, drafty motor housing! When I asked about this strange berthing, Noah was much less than forthcoming. "RPF", he mumbled. Well. What's an RPF when it's at home? Then I saw a few of the denizens of said "RPF". I knew very little about it. Only that it was punishment. For people were "out-ethics". WOW. The RPF "sleeping quarters" had bunks three high, and was protected only marginally from the winds that swept through that garage.

There was an RPF person who was coming through the breezeway as I entered. He stepped aside very deferentialy, and said, "Excuse me, Sirs!" to Noah and I. WOW. I'd never had THAT kind of treatment in my life! I guess I was someone important! This bubble was burst immediately. I met the I/C of the FRU.

She was not in a good mood, as I recall. But, then, who ever really was in this Organization? She DID TRY to be nice. Greeted me clammily, and put on a spurious smile. She recognized I needed sleep, at least. Upon walking through the building, the rooms got more and more posh. I was to get to my berthing through the hotel lobby, apparently. It was grand! But in a sort of an outdated way. I really don't remember much else. Except for the conditions in my sleeping quarters. Only marginally better than the RPF! bunks three high! Junk everywhere (some of the new recruits had yet to figure out that they should cull their possessions to a minimum). Guess who was designated the top bunk? You got it. And moi was not a happy camper! As I climbed the rickety ladder to the top bunk I remember thinking, "How much lower can a person go?"

*I WAS, EVENTUALLY, TO FIND OUT.

on the banks of the
mighty south platte river
he lay prostrate to the twin gods
with his dogeared copy of deadbase open to his first show
and the touch sensitive sky full of magic colour
raise your arms and think that madness is only as
deep as your devotion
dances barefoot on the empty road to the crickets song
ain't it sweet ain't it strong

our friends lived in lean to and
city's of cardboard
at the rivers edge
in the cool of the railroad breezeway
but he lived in the brambles
and on the sandy beach
listened to the vastness of night
dances barefoot on the empty road to the crickets song
ain't it sweet ain't it strong

his voice still echoes in my mind
as he introduced fast fingers to the skin of sky
trace out the silhouette
of her form
near as he can remember
which ain't too near at all
but his words
resembles free form skull and roses
looks like habitat for the shady
but it rolls clean
and has a kind hand for the friendly face

he was  always up for a trek through the city sleeping
dumpster diving and sky laughing
always had little extra warm gear for a cold brother
always had something to chew on for
a hungry sister
always had tunes a flutter
ready to roll on the deck

one day came to the rivers edge
and brother was gone
we searched high and low
but time pass
and river flow
he never did come back
picture him somewhere
dancing barefoot on the empty road to the crickets song
ain't it sweet ain't it strong

I spent the afternoon in the breezeway
watching the clouds tease the mountaintops
and here you come
wide-eyed, eager, kind
embodiment of youth.
you tell me stories of men in uniform
and what lies behind that shining facade
of smiling military men, all in a row.

He was tall, you say, all-american--and strong.
when he took her to bed, it was the day after
her husband was lost to fire and shrapnel.

Paratroopers, you say, are told one thing.
'Don't speak to civilians.'

You left me feeling queasy,
watching and wondering with suspicion
the blue and peace of the sky.

When the shower curtains are made of silk and bleach detergent is in your milk, there are subtle signals of your malady played to the notes under this melody.
This house is a frozen Frigidaire. Remnants kept
Cold.
Bare.
Simple thoughts of the sandman’s nightmares.
The monsters escape from beneath the stairs.
They're afraid of freezing, afraid of Death.
Though you stand there breathing yet can't feel your breath. And you're there in the hallway.
And you're there in the breezeway.
And you're on the white balcony playing dead.
You're in between the wallspace.
And you're in the creaks of the staircase.
And you're on the ivory keys playing this song in my head.
The car in the driveway is 50-years-old.
The tires are roots. The seat belts are mold.
There's no gas in the fuel tank, the steering wheel's gone.
You sit as the driver, your blinker's stuck on.
I found your name in the library news. It vaguely explained what had happened to you.
For most of your life you were silver spooned
Wealthy
And rich.
Yet, simultaneously
Cold.
And bare.  
Slowly sipping musical arsenic
Unhappy
Dead.

everybody visits.
come
sit
join me under the breezeway
isn't the sunset lovely?
stay for a while, I'll pull up an extra chair
lazy smiles
Sunday vibes
our feet kicked up and arms thrown back
they beam
"Oh, I could stay here forever!"
but they don't
and the sun progressively dips
reclining behind our vantage point
the other side of the mountains
and they go to follow it
Leaving me with the dusk and my thoughts until the next day comes with it’s slew of visitors

I'm loaded into the yellow tank
alien abduction
concrete mothership.
Matchsticks
floating near the bottom of a puddle
awaiting transportation through their designated tributaries
they want to be burned out
yet they float damp and unused.

Find a foxhole
head down dig in
no fortified bunker
crosshair jersey.
Snakes slither in the breezeway
sinister squirming tendrils
pervade ventilation shafts.

Pathological spores infect the air
pheromones drive creatures crazy
after the zookeeper injected rabies
cages banging at all hours
never loosen.
Hiding from a buzzsaw
every edge its own blade
all cutting in different ways
through hardened skin and molding clay.

Crouching in a crevasse
as a stampede tramples through
dirt is kicked in my face
but a lion's teeth cannot reach.
The herd keeps moving
but comfort isn't found in the current
raccoons and skunks wander bat caves
after mastering the scent of ammonia.

A paltry show of effort,
a slight scent of something rotten
wafting in through the breezeway.

When you thought it was finally over,
did you close the book shut tight?
Where do you write the rest of your story
if there are no more pages left?

Do you wane
in the face of
such shame?

You were true
to you,
I remember that much.

Now no one knows.
No one can tell just
where the road goes.

There are days that the sky's blue
but some days could be dark too

Meanwhile, the sun says goodbye
With no scenery to the naked eye

Birds chirp, leaves sway
Wind finds its breezeway

Water slowly drops from above
Soon the flesh felt my love