We blanket our fears with silly defense mechanisms to shelter any shame we carry From every angle we stand we are judged at first sight We pretend we aren't critics but we are hypocrites everyday As we seek the forgiveness we can't give in return We make promises and sugar coat little white lies As we defensively reassure the world we are mistunderstoond and unique The truth is our narcissim reeks like bad perfume suffocating everyone around us As we stand tall for whatever it is we believe in It's just denial Because inside we are tormented with insecurities and charachter defects Inside our stomachs are fluttering with anxiety and secrets too painful to remember Inside we are incarcerated with a plethora of misguided ghosts screaming for an escape Inside bombs are bursting out gunshots and out hearts have bullet wounds to prove it Our viles of happiness are never satisfied We are always seeking more But we are never sure what we are looking for Some sort of accomplishment or recognition Maybe validation A sign that we are still breathing with a euphoria seeping out our pores into the air A sign of greatness Maybe we want that picture perfect dream that we fantasize about until we reassure ourselves we are lunatics for wishing We feel debased because our choices keep the odds against us We are incapable of managing our own lives And maybe nothing will restore our piece of mind It's insanity--our thoughts I think its called delusional Because in reality nothing goes as expected We had learned to cope with self medication Because all the doctors were wrong Something had to fill our voids in our hearts Something had to stop the brain from processing emotions We chased after something invisible A force that spiriled our lives down into the ground We ran away like little children afraid of the dark Because we thought the pain would be like daggers through our hearts Stabbing us over and over again until we died from sufferance The pain was too frightening to look directly in the eye If it were easy or if there was a simplier way of figuring it out we wouldn't have wasted so many years battling the addiction that wears a shield of armor If it were easy the grass would be green and we'd never have to water it If it were easy we wouldn't be so sensitive to triggers and flashbacks It's not easy It is World War 3 every single day There is a chip on our shoulder and a devil on the other jumping up and down eager to break us He is whispering temptations; Seducing us with our vices, pushing us to collapse like an avolance until we overdose He is waiting patiently and constantly because he knows us so well We were weak for so long and he is hungry for our failures He wants us to throw our hands up and call it quits And the worst part is just when we think we've won it gets worse And we are forced to stand in the mirror and detect every flaw of imperfection we wish to erase And then it comes back all our defense mechanisms The way we present ourselves to the big whole wide world Biting our lip in sufference Haunted by a past of turmoil and depression It is hard to communicate to those who don't understand our demons We are looked down upon and there is another stupid burden to carry Because everything adds up and we get tired of all the negative We get stomped on and spit on and drug through hell But then something clicks And we look around the room and we realize we are not alone We are brave, strong and somehow still alive And there is a person to your left an another to your right starring right through you But all you can do is hand over the keys to your self destructive behavior and pray that help is on the way Because we are addicts batteling the same devils in different levels of the game Because we were dealt with a bad hand But we played with what we had And suddenly everything was ok when we walked into the doors to our recovery and said Hello, I am an addict
today i feel weak and small today small problems become big my brain is so full i can hardly speak today* i’m batteling my mind fighting the pain trying to survive with teary eyes and an aching heart
1 am You are lying in your bed, 2 am You cant sleep, 3 am You are rgreting your chocies, 4 am You are finding your sight fadeing, 5 am You are batteling for your life, 6 am You are takeing your last breath, 7 am There are wakeing up finding you DEAD.
A fallen child- trembleing in the corner. A broken dream- batteling with truth. A darkened angel- staring over the battelfield of life.
Do you hear me now? Is my singing loud enough?! Can I fly away with you? Is this how life was meant to be? And can they come with me?
My dark angel- feet thumping. My dream- breaking to the sound. Our child- breaking down!
Do you feel me now? Are my hits hard enough?! Can I run away with you? Is this how life was meant to be? And can they come with me?
My dreams- they don't seem to be here. They make me laugh they make me cry. Am I satisfied with what I got?
That darkened angel- he hears my thoughts. Does he know that I still love him? Will he feel it when I fall? is he satisfied with what he got?
And my child- so young. I sense you laugh in the sun. The moments grow short now. Soon enough, you'll be in that crowd... Are you satisfied with what you are?
Do you hear me now? Is my singing loud enough?! Can I fly away with you? Is this how life was meant to be? And can they come with me?
A man- a god. A child- a person. A dream- a thing, so tangable. And I- I am this thing that has been created from the past.
what am going to o when all i do is ponder. this world filled with silence danger. how to hid when all we are just batteling all of our own fear. im not afraid to speak my mind even if it takes my own soul. nothing is my life only head on fear that never ends alone.
i know i can hide from societys games so i rather fun threw hell to flip up this world of lies no changes could be made when i just have long empty pondering thoughts how. can i let my words out when i have nothing to say my every mistake has reflected on me to run threw hel and back
