My family makes me feel like an orphan
The oldest treated like I don't belong
I'm the bad influence when I experience life
Talked about and left out
Told I can't but prove them wrong
Treated like I can't do anythig right
Keep trying not going to lose the fight
Excluded for years I find my own
Judged for being different while everyone the same
I got most of the blame for your actions
Family don't treat good and that's not right
Going away no one cares if I stay
I helped day by day they won't have me anyway

I feel like I should write a drunken poem,

I think it would be great,

But it’s probably ******* awfull,

It’s also way too late,

To be doing anythig creative,

Especially when I’m this ******,

And I can’t be bothered with rhyming,

Goodnight everyone

I followed blindly
Not knowing where I was going
Not know I was going
Took every step with out looking
Took everything lightly
Like it didn't matter
But I didn't know that it didn't matter
And thats why it did matter
I followed blindly
Until I realized
That there was nothing to follow
Nowhere to go
I started doubting everything
Was anything real?
Did anythig matter?
And thats when it stopped mattering
When I questioned whether it mattered or not
I was no longer sure of anything
Lost in a realm of uncearinaty
It destroyed me
The me that had not been real
And brought out the real me
And the real me is the one who doesn't exist
The one who doesn't matter
The one that will never matter
The one inside my head
The one with no end
Just like these words

I used to fantasize about the existence of a never ending hole

Huge and full of nothing but darkness, wind and freedom big enough to jumo into and fall forever

For so long I forgot that anything can touch me

So long as I forget that anythig exist outside of the air licking me

And If i felt lost I fantisized company

Someone to do backflips with and laugh

Silent cause the air grabbed the sound and held it

If I didnt I was happy

I was a child and it was all I dreamt about

endless wind and air and dark and abandon

I am no longer a child

I wish freefalls would consume my dreams

Just one more week.

In the morning with the bright rays,come my first thoughts:

count
count

Then its time for breakfast
count faster
count faster

By lunch I am clutching my hair
Did miss anythig?

Dont forget to count
Dont forget to count

Time for dinner....but I messed up my counting!
count
count

Oh no
....
I had too much

Sometimes i get stuck inside,
trynna figure you out,
i am terrified,
i am afraid,
you can see my heart beating,
i am not leaving,
i wont,
breakup doesnt solve anythig,
it wont,
you begging,
asking to never ever thought of leaving,
again.

In the morning with the bright rays,come my first thoughts:

count
count

Then its time for breakfast
count faster
count faster

By lunch I am clutching my hair
Did miss anythig?

Dont forget to count
Dont forget to count

Time for dinner....but I messed up my counting!
count
count

Oh no
....
I had too much

Is there anythig you dont know
You are smart and i’m like ”wow”
But Soon
i realize
You make a good lies

But hey we can pretend
That all you said didn’t mean the end
Beautiful words from such a blody mouth
One thing you will never know
What this poem is about