****** don't want respect no more
they just want clout
stealing **** they didn't used to be about
but i guess it's "**** or be killed"
and yeah, it's crooked
but the world doesn't let you be skilled in something that's already in you
i can't sit here and write for free
because i'm supposed to be looking for money
scratch my head and worry over answers i'll never find
i know what i want though
so i shade my eyes so they don't know i'm not blind
i can't go with the rest- it's a struggle
going against the flow
is bruising me; i'm wounded
the others like me are slowing turning wilted
i'm left standing in the sun
and even though i'm shining, they don't see it
they're eyeless and i'm the only one

When you rejected me is when I knew I was in love.
Or maybe, when I realized that I had been for a while.
I thought I was dying, but…
It was just you breaking my heart.
And since I’d never felt either before,
It felt like the slow painful ending I always knew I didn’t want.
I’m more than sad,
Because you hate me as much as I love you.
((That’s a lot.))
And one or the other will be the death of me.
My heart is crying
And so am I.

If he's not at a train station
I don't know where he is
So many beautiful people
So many beautiful chances
All these life stories
From different places
All those love stories
I thought they were clichés
But now I see how possible they can be
If you open your eyes
And set your mind free
All it takes is a look around yourself
To take a step outside
Of your own mind
The one that's right next to you
Might be what's a sign
Of your future together
With the stranger beside

I want to know your thoughts before they are,
But I’m afraid of what I’ll do to myself
And how much farther I’ll take it in my heart.

So I keep quiet, and love and adore from a distance.
And every time you do something that makes me want to draw near,
I take two steps back, giving my heart sickness.

Trying to keep a balance of a scale weighted by emotion
Until you are merely a shadow in the corners of my mind
And an old idea forced to be a foolish notion.

Yet time and time again I prove that to me you’re more than that.
I tire of putting this show on for myself,
Because when the curtain falls, with it drops the act.

The actress, she’s gone- all that’s left is me:
Raw, cracked, slightly faded.
But at least you've come back into my dreams.

i go through the back door
laughing and crying
dont talk so problems stayed ignored
they took my key
you left and now
im bout to be back on the streets
theres always something someone wants
when i fail to deliver
im an option, not the one
fountain of youth
levels lay low
sympathy misused, abused
thought my heart was broke
but i still feel everyones everythings
without trying i get your deepests evoked

I wish I didn't miss you
should've never kissed you
the new me wouldn't have responded
to "girl, what that **** do?"
I guess it was something about the twists in your hairdo
and now my legs and elbows are cold
the fact that I noticed reminds me
of how you told me I was old
told me I was a "***"
kept coming just to go
even when things were fine/okay
I still felt alone
no matter how many times we lit one and smoked
and when we'd lie together
I'd be sure not to roll over
for the distance you would surely note

It's you, it's me.
Add her, it's three.
She gets As,
But I get Bs.

She has reasons.
I have excuses.
I am mindless.
She is fearless.

Compassion is her trait.
Selfishness is mine.
I can't bear to wait.
Please just make up your mind.

It's not fair to me,
My heart stays guarded.
It's not fair to her,
She has life goals and projects.

And you're in the middle,
Because we put you there.
I have to leave NOW,
I can't bear to hear...

This poetry is a work in progress.
This relationship is  a work in progress.
Our love for each other
Has not completed process.
But at least we know it's there
And that this isn't totally worthless.
"You won't be together."
"He'll find someone who's heart is in better shape than yours
And who's soul is dauntless."
"He'll move on without you
While you're here haunted."
But I'm the kind of person who doesn't give a **** if
He's married in another state
With those things they call quadruplets,
Because my heart will still belong to him,
For it's forever bonded
To him who is my first real love,
Even if it's obnoxious.

I grew up when I realized that love is a decision
not an emotion
When I saw how toxic love
was leaving me heartbroken
& I wondered why only part of me was left
but my ability to love freely was stolen
Age had nothing to do with the come up
it was when I was all alone with my thoughts til the sun came up
sleepless nights & the struggle of being lonely
had me learn who I was
til I knew I was all of me

synthesized
you don't realize
what's on the outside
contradicts the inside
open your eyes
time to see how large the size
and that things are not alright
try as you might
you can't face the night
something's not right
you better recognize
the things you're trying to hide
can't stay unidentified
everyone's out here "stupefied"
pretending that they can't see the light
acting like hiding in the dark's alright
on old waves cruising and riding
but I'm ahead of the time
thoughts that'll get me suicide
things I say are unadvised
because I can't be held back by the lies
that kept me traumatized
that kept me up at night
it's not til you're way up high
that they say they love your style
and decide they're on your side
but I've already left them far behind
with the places in which I used to reside

if there ever is a day
when I find a one for me
the one with whom I'll lay
and commit to fully
then that will be the day
that I will lose myself
seem though it may
that I have new wealth
thoughts of me
will go away and
I'll be unhappy

I hate poems that rhyme
I mean, who has the time
To sit in a chair
With a blank, bored stare
In the middle of class
That's torturing the mass

can't believe it happened again
got my heart broken
for letting someone else in
better off living alone in my life of sin

to trust anyone but myself
is hopeless
the only result is
my heart and it's holiness

I hope you know
I'm going to drop acid
as an attempt to drop my love for you.
I was just wondering:
what did you do with my heart now that we're done?
I hope you know
I'm going to **** meaninglessly
to try to forget what you taste like.
I was just wondering:  
am I just a part of your past now?      
I hope you know
I'm going to swallow my sobs with pills
and wash them down with colorful poisons.
I was just wondering:
do you really think I'm making it without you?
I hope you know
my head will always be filled with smoke
to fog out the scenes of us on the beach.
I was just wondering:
if you ever compare them to me?
I hope you know
I'm going to ruthlessly create chaos in other men's spirits
and from now on I'm going to be the one that loves less
because broken hearts break hearts
to try to gain what they lost.

I hope you know
you're the only one who can stop me.

left a bad ***** for an ew one
but looks aside
guess it doesn't matter none
she's got nothing on me
including personality
all she ever had was a disease and a baby
but ****, i hope you're happy
although i don't see how you could be
cuz i know you have a conscious
i have a list in my head of your wrongness
the fact that you went back to disaster
makes me wonder if i was even all that
aftermath: i have a lot of wrath
then there's you trying to turn it around
like i didn't wanna hold you down
all the noise i made about it
and you never even heard a sound

numerous things to say to you in my head
yet i can't seem to find the strength
to lift myself up out of bed
i'm emotionally
drained of energy
i feel like the bomb ticking
moved from my heart to my head
all i wanted from the start was you and an us
but apparently i'm just too far above
the standards you have
cuz it's to her you went back
now i see where we stand
and i don't stand a chance
cuz you won't take a chance
at what could actually last
and now we can't go back
bet you're having a blast
with that ***** from the past
i know she's giving you ***
sorry that i am better than that

one day I'm going to wake up
and realize that trying to live life without you is pointless
because I'm immune to the pretty sedatives and toxic liquids now
I'll give up completely
and do something you'll regret
but it will be too late for you to realize
I will walk the 300 miles to your house
I will follow you into battle
I will wait the four years for you in loneliness
I will promise you my soul
I will **** myself for you
and now I have killed myself because of you